Chess Moves - a Knight for a Queen
by Anne Bensler
Summary: This is my very first Langson story so be kind. Set somewhere in season 6. Rated T for now. Cases involving special victims aren't exactly Trevor Langan's favorites. The only upside is seeing detective Benson but they are always on opposite sides of the cases. If he wants to get closer to her, he will have to make some creative moves. It's like a game of chess sometimes.
1. Enemies

**Dear readers, I present to you: my very first Langson story. I know, it's a shocker. This is a short introductory chapter for starters. Don't hold back in your reviews, I want the good, the bad and the ugly (and the pretty) :)))**

...

 **1\. Enemies**

He loves his job. He really does. It's like a game of chess, requiring wit, intelligence, a clever use of the pieces, the ability to predict your opponent's moves and beat them to the punch. Also, it's about defending people who are running the risk of being wronged severely.

Or so he thought when he first became a lawyer.

Today, he finds himself defending pension plan managers who are accused of fraud. And business men accused of wrongdoings. It's usually about money and he understands money. So he sleeps soundly at night. Most of the time.

But sometimes, his wealthy clients call him in on different matters. Their offspring isn't always on its best behavior and when they get in trouble, the folks call him too.

Those cases are different.

More often than not, his gut tells him that his client is guilty of something, but he is being paid to get them off the hook. Create reasonable doubt at least. So he tries. And oftentimes he succeeds, making him a successful lawyer in high demand.

Most nights he can sleep just fine after a case like that, but some keep him awake. Sometimes for just one night, sometimes longer. He knows this is going to be one of those cases. He knew it the moment he was called and they gave him the address of the station where his new client was being held. The 1-6 in Manhattan, the Special Victims Unit.

...

Her brown eyes dim the instant she sees him come in and he sighs internally.

He admires her and her co-workers for what they do and the passion they do it with. But as soon as he comes in here, they perceive him as the enemy. He can't really blame them. It's his job. It's the job he has chosen so he _is_ the enemy in these cases. He is coming in to get their suspect off the hook. Sometimes, they catch the wrong guy and it's fine. But most of the time, he knows they've caught the right guy. They want justice for their victim and it's his job to get the suspect off or to get him a deal he - or she - can live with.

He prefers deals in these cases. He lies awake when a suspect goes free, knowing that his victim, victims, or their next of kin, will not be able to put their suffering behind them. But he doesn't lie awake long enough because he will just do it again. It's starting to weigh on him, but not enough. He still lets them buy him and the money's good. It's great.

He looks away when he passes her desk, on his way to interrogation room 1. Her partner clears his throat and he doesn't look back. He knows the guy hates him. He is the enemy.

…

Trevor's glad the case won't go to trial. The evidence against the kid is strong so he's suggested a deal, making it clear to his client - and his parents - that he doesn't stand a chance in court. The ADA will crush him. The only way to reduce his punishment is to make a deal and apologize to his victim. The kid had flat-out refused to apologize to 'that slut' as he'd called the girl, and it disgusts him. He is disgusted with the attitude of this man, just a boy really, and the fact that his father actually agrees with him. His father, the mighty bank director. As soon as the attorney leaves the 1-6, he heads for the nearest bar and he's still there when the four detectives of the Special Victims Unit come in.

He sits at the bar and they scoot into the first available booth across the room. John Munch spots him first and just nods at him. He's the most laid back of the four. His partner Odafin Tutuola turns to see who Munch just nodded at and, seeing the defense attorney, he gives him a neutral upward nod. It's an acknowledgement of his presence, nothing more. Trevor raises his hand from the bar in response and then grabs his beer again. His third one of the night, or is it his fourth? Then _she_ spots him and he almost wants to look away immediately. Somehow it affects him when she looks at him in disdain, and she usually does just that. But he can't look away this time because she actually smiles at him. It's just a little smile but he sees it even from this distance. It changes her demeanor completely, it makes her soft and beautiful and it makes him feel … what does it make him feel? It makes him … _feel_. It's as if he's less numb than before and he swallows hard. The fragile spell is broken immediately when his view of her is blocked by her partner. _Who else,_ he can't help thinking. Stabler makes his way over to the bar with determined strides and stands right next to him to place his order with the bartender.

"Glad you went with a plea deal," he gruffs and Trevor knows he should be glad with any kind of positive comment from this particular detective.

"It's his best option," he replies neutrally.

"Yeah. And _his_ options are all that matter of course."

He should have known it was too good to be true. He and Stabler will never agree on anything. Well, except one thing maybe. He manages not to look back at the man's partner and straightens his back while putting down his now empty beer glass.

"He's guilty and has to pay for what he did. That's what matters," he says firmly and Stabler turns to him with one eyebrow raised.

"Since when, counselor?"

"For what it's worth, detective, these aren't my favorite cases."

"Well, they're not our favorites either but we kinda have to do them to get the scum off the streets, counselor."

Stabler places his order, four beers, and then looks at him again, no doubt to gauge the effect of his words.

"I know. And I defend scum. You've told me. Many times."

"Just to remind you how we feel about you," the man says with a grin that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

He grabs the beers that are placed in front of him and walks back to his co-workers without another word. Trevor watches as he scoots into the booth next to his partner, who starts whispering to him immediately. There's always been something between those two. He's wondered if they are ever going to take things further, now that Stabler is apparently separated from his wife. So far, he's never seen anything unprofessional between them, just a friendship and a trust that won't break under pressure. He supposes that is a good thing between partners but when he sees them laughing together he can't help feeling … something. He shakes his head and signals the bartender for another beer. Just one more for the road, he decides. He doesn't feel like sitting here all right with _them_ over there.

When he walks out, relieved that he can still walk to the door in a perfectly straight line, he glances at their table once more. She looks at him and it's a completely neutral stare. He knows he should be relieved that it isn't her usual disdainful look, but he realizes he had kind of hoped for another smile. Just a little smile to make him feel like his presence in the world actually means something to a good person. He nods at her and leaves, trying to reason away his disappointment. At least she smiled at you once, he hears himself think. He's pathetic. He just needs to get on with his life and hope he won't get another case involving a special victim any time soon.

…

 **A/N: Alright, what do y'all think?  
It's different, I know. E&O are partners but this is not an EO story. It's a nice challenge and I hope you'll like it!**


	2. Opposite sides

**Bonus chapter to celebrate 10 reviews to chapter one in just a few hours! Your kind words are appreciated!**

...

 **2\. Opposite sides**

Trevor gets the call around 10 PM. It's a cold February night and he isn't too eager to make the trip to the 1-6 for various reasons. While it's a murder case this time and not a rape, which is a relief for him, the odds against his new client aren't good. Technically, he's already guilty of statutory rape because his girlfriend is only fifteen, and now her mother, who had been strongly against her daughter's relationship, is dead. So he finds himself at the opposite side of the table at the Special Victims unit once again.

He does his job as always, of course.

"He's innocent until proven guilty," he states flatly after Elliot Stabler finally pauses his little bad cop rant.

The coat found in the girl's bedroom could have been left there weeks ago, they can't produce the kid's bloody clothes and the witness didn't see enough for a lineup. They have nothing substantial on Justin, no matter how hard Stabler rages. These are the facts. His gut tells him there is something his client isn't saying but it is not his job to get it out of him. It's their job. Stabler's and Benson's. Or Cragen's in this case. He wonders why Olivia isn't doing this interrogation with her partner but that, too, is not his job to find out.

And then Justin points them to Carrie's lawyer, stating she is the one who came up with 'the idea', whatever that meant. He's free to go after that. "For now," Cragen stresses, trying out his best stern stare as Trevor and his young client get up to leave. As they walk out, he wonders why he's feeling this slight sense of disappointment. She only gives him wary or disapproving looks anyway, so why had he hoped to see those big brown eyes again tonight? He knows their paths are bound to cross again soon and yet he is disappointed that his trip to Manhattan had been for naught this time.

He shakes his head at himself when he realizes what he's thinking. She loathes him. She'd walk right past him if they met outside of work. Hell, she walks right past him when they meet _at_ work. Why would he look forward to that?

…

He is back at the station with Justin the next evening. The detectives have a recording of a video chat between Justin and Carrie, clearing his client of the murder completely. Apparently, it had been the daughter, not him. Justin still refuses to talk.

"This is when you should talk, Justin. They know you're innocent," Trevor urges, but the young man won't say one word to incriminate his girl.

It's obvious that he truly loves her. And then Benson and Stabler put the pressure on, together. They talk about love and jail time, trying to make him think he's going to jail for twenty-five years for something his girl did, and she's just going to let him get locked up. They're good at that sort of thing, these two. They crawl into a person's head and work on their emotions. He wonders if their work ethic is really so superior to his when it comes down to it. They look down at him for defending criminals but the way _they_ work some people?

Still, it's fascinating to watch them work together, plan their moves and then execute them effortlessly, as if they have one mind instead of two. He envies that in a way. Only it doesn't work this time. Once he assures Justin that the tape isn't enough proof that Carrie killed her mother, the young man still refuses to talk. Trevor sees the two detectives exchange a look of understanding and then Olivia gets up and leaves, a determined look on her face. He can't help wondering what their next move will be, because they're clearly not done yet.

Het gets his answer just a short while later, when Olivia, Carrie and Carrie's lawyer Simone walk past the interrogation room just as he, Justin and Stabler exit it. The two lovebirds see each other and it becomes clear to him that Olivia has managed to get a full confession out of Carrie by making her believe Justin had already given her up. Another sample of their 'superior' work ethic, he thinks. They're not as different from him as they want to believe. Not at all.

Carrie freaks out when she realizes she's been lied to and starts yelling at Olivia. When she lunges forward to attack her, both Stabler and Trevor spring into action. Elliot grabs the young girl while Trevor steps forward to shield Olivia. Carrie continues to scream at Olivia, calling her a lying bitch and screaming that she's ruined her life. Trevor can tell that Olivia isn't unaffected, but when he asks her if she's alright, she brushes him off.

"Yeah. I'm fine," she says quickly but the look in her eyes tells him she isn't.

He needs to get Justin home but lingers a bit, not wanting to leave Olivia like this, alone in the hallway. She looks at him quizzically, probably wondering what he's still doing here. He scratches his jaw nervously and nods, although he's not sure why he's nodding. He is probably agreeing with himself that he should leave.

"Alright. Uhm. I have to go and get him home so …"

"Of course," Olivia says, not letting him finish. "Your client is free to go."

She turns around then and walks off and Trevor sighs before turning to Justin, who is also affected by the way his girlfriend has just been dragged off.

"Where are they taking her?" he asks.

"To central booking. She is now under arrest. She'll probably be arraigned first thing tomorrow."

"She has to spend the night in jail?"

"Yes. She is now the main suspect."

"Why aren't you with her?"

Trevor sighs and puts a hand on the young man's shoulder.

"I'm not her attorney, Justin. I'm yours."

"Well, I don't need you anymore, right? _She_ needs you. You have to help her!"

Justin is getting agitated now, something he hasn't seen him do before, but he has to be honest with him.

"I'm sorry Justin. As much as I'd like to, Carrie already has a lawyer. Simone Bryce. Your parents only asked me to represent you."

"So who sent that Simone person to Carrie? Her mother sure didn't."

"I did," they suddenly hear a voice say and Trevor whips around to see Olivia walking back up to them.

"You?" both men asked simultaneously.

"Yes. But that was before she killed her mother."

Trevor wonders why Olivia has come back, and he wonders if she's been listening to his conversation with Justin.

"She has to pay for what she's done, Justin. You know that," Olivia continues.

"Was there something you needed?" Trevor asks and she chuckles humorlessly.

"All business as always, right counselor?" she says with a wry smile. "I just wanted to let you know that Elliot will let you know where they take Carrie, so Justin here will know where to visit her."

"Thank you, detective. I appreciate it," Trevor says quickly.

"Don't mention it," Olivia mumbles, already turning around to walk off again.

Trevor watches her leave, and actually feels like he's been caught staring at her ass when she suddenly turns around one more time and looks at him. She continues walking backwards slowly when she says,

"And uh ... thanks for … earlier. Stepping in the way you did."

Trevor's stomach clenches just a little. Olivia flashes the tiniest of smiles at him before turning around once more and rounding the corner. He can't believe she's actually thanked him. Her partner had been perfectly capable of immobilizing the handcuffed fifteen-year old and dragging her off. The man probably could have done it with one arm. He had wondered if she'd even seen him jump in front of her. And now she's thanking him for it.

After walking Justin out and parting ways with him, he realizes she may have come back specifically to thank him. He or Justin would have had no problem finding out where Carrie was taken. He actually feels a little bubbly at the thought that the stoic, closed-off, bordering on arrogant detective has bothered to say anything about it. She must have appreciated his concern then, despite her aversion to his job. He takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly, telling himself not to read too much into it. All this proves is that she's human and he's known that for a while now. He's seen emotions swirl in those deep brown orbs that tell him more than her cool words ever could. He knows he's the enemy as far as she's concerned, but she isn't the enemy to him. On the contrary. She may be on the opposite side of the chessboard but she isn't the enemy he wants to take down. She's the queen he'd like to conquer. If he could only figure out which moves could get him closer to her.

…

 **A/N: It hurts my heart to make Elliot this way but I have to in this story … I won't keep writing him like this, I promise. This is just how Trevor sees him at first.  
Underlined print is from the actual show, which is episode 19 of season 6 in this case. A big thank you to BenoightLangson for directing me to this episode to find a starting point for this story!  
Not promising to keep up this speed of writing. More as soon as I have written it! Reviews motivate me to write so ... ;)**


	3. Moving Pieces

**I know the chapters aren't super long but I want to keep the story going so here's the next one. Enjoy!**

 **(PS. I published chapter 2 on the same day as chapter 1, so if you missed it, please click "Prev" and read 2 before 3.)**

...

 **3\. Moving pieces**

He has told Justin that he can't represent Carrie, but while that is true he decides to keep tabs on her case. The defense is interesting: PMS made her do it. Casey Novak will have a field day with that one. From a professional standpoint, he's interested to see how Simone Bryce is going to make her case. And personally, he's curious how Olivia is dealing with it. After their short talk at the 1-6 he hasn't been able to forget about her smile. There had been something vulnerable about her that seems to draw him to her, whether he wants to or not. Well, who is he trying to kid? He wants to.

He's always thought she was beautiful. Almost inappropriately beautiful for the line of work she's in. Her tough stance and attitude fit though, and he knows she's as good a cop as her male colleagues, if not better. He is much taller than she is but he knows she could take him down if she wanted to. He grins at the thought. That would be one way to get closer to her.

But he's seen her with victims too, and her empathy is where her real strength lies. She is good when she breaks a suspect in interrogation but she is great when she reaches the soul of a survivor of abuse.

Somehow, he knows she'd be a wonderful mother and he can see it now. Olivia carrying her child on her hip and introducing it to the world, loving it and teaching it early on that every person matters and that people have to look out for each other. He wants that for her and he wonders whose eyes their child would have if they had one together. The thought startles him and he tries to shake it off. He has been waiting in the hallway of the courthouse, where a motion hearing in preparation of Carrie's case has just ended. He watches a few people come out of the room and then he sees her. And her partner. Trevor feels his heart sink just a little bit. He had hoped to talk to Olivia alone but he should have known Elliot would never be far away. They are probably on another case so he doesn't have much time. He walks up to Olivia quickly and greets her and her partner.

"Good afternoon detectives. How did it go in there?" he asks them both.

"Langan," Olivia says rather coolly, and Trevor swallows, trying not to feel too disappointed. What else should he have expected? It's not like they are suddenly friends now because she smiled at him a few times.

"What's your interest, counselor?" Elliot asks, squinting slightly at him.

"Well, since I represented your suspect's boyfriend, I like to keep updated on this case."

"Why?" Olivia asks, her voice just as cool as before. "There's no money to be made for you here."

He is doing a poor job hiding his disappointment this time and he knows it. So he tells both detectives,

"I understand how you feel about defense lawyers, but there actually is more to us that just making money, alright? I'm interested to know if the couple is going to be okay."

Before Olivia can respond, and he really wants her to respond, her partner buts in again.

"You call that a couple? He's twenty-one. She's fifteen. It's a crime."

Trevor knows the man is goading him but he can't resist answering him anyway.

"In two years time, it won't be. Anyone can see they really love each other."

"Love, Langan? At fifteen?" Olivia asks.

"It happens," he maintains and he can tell he's got her attention now.

"Speaking from experience?" she asks, and he actually sees one corner of her mouth tug up a little.

"Maybe," he teases and he sees her eyes sparkle briefly.

His day has already been made and if it wasn't for Elliot Stabler, he would love to continue the banter with her. The partner interrupts one more time but this time, he is actually helping him a little, although that probably wasn't his intention.

"Well, we should have been out of here fifteen minutes ago so maybe you two should continue this ehm … date some other time, alright?"

"Sure, why not," Trevor says quickly. "I'm game if you are, detective."

Olivia laughs out loud and the sound of her laughter gives him goosebumps. She pats his arm then and turns him down with the sweetest of smiles.

"I am sorry counselor, but I don't date lawyers."

"Why not?" he persists, needing to get the maximum out of the subject at hand while he has the chance.

"Your job kinda clashes with what we do," Elliot says, standing up a little straighter to give him his patented cop stare. "I don't want to have to break you two up each time you're rolling on the floor fighting so …"

Olivia swats Elliot's arm and grins at him. She looks back up at Trevor then and says as seriously as she can manage,

"Don't mind the idiot I have to work with day and night. He can get a little overprotective some times."

"Well, if you change your mind, I'd love to chat about puppy love some more with you," Trevor says quickly, and he silently thanks the gods for giving him a quick mind and a way with words. Olivia laughs again and then says goodbye to him. Elliot looks at him one more time and Trevor decides that the partner going into protective mode is actually a good sign.

Still, he hopes to catch her alone next time.

…

The next time they meet, it's over a week later. Carrie's case isn't scheduled until the second week of March and the defense seems to be trying to stall it even longer. Trevor has warned Justin not to go near Carrie at the courthouse, because he may still be facing statutory rape charges if he does. He can't blame the young man for wanting to be close to his girl though, and can't stop him from waiting outside in the hallway for her after the final motion hearing in her case. So he's decided to join him to keep an eye on him, just in case.

He spots Olivia immediately, standing at the window, looking outside while making a phone call. It looks like she's here by herself this time. He sits down next to Justin on a bench a few yards away. He doesn't know if she's seen him and when he glances at her, he can see her putting away her phone and looking around. She raises an eyebrow when she spots him and then her eyes flick to Justin. She looks at Trevor again and he knows what she's thinking. Trevor motions at Justin to stay seated as he gets up to walk over to where Olivia is standing.

"I know he shouldn't talk to Carrie, that's why I came along," he says immediately.

He can tell Olivia is surprised and he smiles.

"Yes, I know. No money to be made here. Surprised?" he asks her.

"A little," Olivia admits and she looks at him more attentively.

Trevor tries not to get too uncomfortable under her scrutiny but feels himself getting a little warm.

"I could tell you more about my more noble motives once I get Justin out of harm's way, like I suggested last time we were here. If you're interested, that is?"

His heart is beating a little faster than before but he knows he can be a smooth talker when needed. And with Olivia, he definitely needs to be. He grins when he sees a smile appear on her lips.

"I already told you …" she starts, but he beats her to the punch.

"I know. You don't date lawyers. So we don't call it a date. Just lunch. Or dinner. Whatever works for you. Just so we can have a conversation that lasts a little longer than a few minutes."

He is throwing her off and he can see her hesitate. He's in his element now, moving the pieces across the chessboard skillfully to force her to move in the direction he wants her to move. Her phone starts ringing again and for a second he's disappointed that he can't finish his move. But before Olivia answers the call, she flashes another smile.

"Sorry. Have to take this but … you have my number, right? Call me."

 _Jackpot._

"I will," he says quickly and then retreats to let her take her call.

He's got an in now and he's not going to waste any time. He is definitely calling her. Tonight.

...

 **A/N: Chess is a slow game but the pieces are moving ... Reviews make me happy!**


	4. Not a date

**In case you are wondering, the next episode (season 6 episode 20) actually kicks off between the arrest and the trial of the previous one. It's perfect for the next part of this story.**

...

 **4\. Not a date**

Call me, she's said. He knows that in part she was just getting rid of him but she could have said anything really, to get him to back off. He knows, because she's said many other things before to break off conversations she doesn't want to be in. So another part of her must be interested in some part of him. He is not about to let this opportunity pass him by so around nine thirty that evening, he thinks he's waited long enough. Even on a busy day, she should be home by now, shouldn't she?

He's saved her number months ago on his phone and presses the call button before he can change his mind. She'd said to call her so he's calling. Nothing to be nervous about.

"Benson."

"Langan."

There is a brief pause and he can almost picture her, frowning her perfectly shaped eyebrows until she realises who is calling.

"Oh hi," he hears her say neutrally.

"You said I could call you so I'm calling," he says, as cheerfully as he can manage. "Is this a good time?"

He hears a humming sound in the background so she must not be home yet after all.

"Uh, sure. We ... I'm on my way home now. Been a long day."

"Stabler with you?"

"Yeah."

He gets her hesitation now, because he guesses she won't want her partner to know who she's talking to.

"Call me back?" he suggests and when she actually agrees with a simple "okay" before hanging up, he grins.

…

"Something I should know?" Elliot asks.

Olivia doesn't bother looking at her partner. He doesn't respond well when he suspects she's dating and she definitely doesn't want him to know she is contemplating meeting Trevor Langan outside of work. The truth is, she's intrigued. The last few times she's spoken to the tall attorney, he's mentioned love and that not everything is about making money, two things she had never expected from him. She is still determined not to call it a date, just a lunch or dinner, whatever he wants to invite her to. She's always wondered what makes defense attorneys even want to represent sexual predators. Granted, she doesn't see Trevor a lot, but he doesn't refuse those cases either. So she's interested in having a conversation that lasts more than a few minutes, as he's put it. Just to see what he has to say for himself, nothing more. It's not a date. But she's not going to tell Elliot or any of her other coworkers about it either, just to be on the safe side.

When she gets home, and dutifully blinks her lights a few times so her partner knows she got inside safely, she pulls out her phone immediately. She can't help feeling a little nervous about calling Trevor back. What is she getting herself into? She doesn't want to get the man's hopes up and tells herself she's simply taking his words literally. She is interested in talking to him for longer than a few minutes, just to see what makes a defense attorney tick. She presses the callback button and waits.

"Hi again," Trevor greets her cheerfully and she smiles.

"Hi. Sorry about earlier."

"No problem, I get it."

She wonders if he really does get it. If he really understands why she doesn't want Elliot to know who was calling. Before she can decide if she wants to ask him about it, Trevor continues.

"So, I took your invitation to call you to mean that you're interested in talking a bit more. What's convenient for you? Lunch or dinner? Or just drinks somewhere?"

She likes that he leaves it up to her. She explains to him that her schedule can get rather hectic and that plans may change, but he's totally okay with that. So they agree to meet for dinner on Wednesday night around seven, which is two days from now. And if she can't make it after all, she'll call him and they will make it drinks later on in the evening.

After ending the call Olivia finds herself smiling. She hasn't been on any dates recently and tells herself again that this isn't a date, but somehow that smile won't go away. She shakes her head at herself and decides to take a long shower. She's looking forward to curling up with a good book and then getting a good night's sleep.

No such luck.

Around 3 AM she and Fin are leaning over their latest victim, who hasn't survived a vicious attack and has been left in the streets with a large amount of cash stuffed in her mouth. They spend the rest of the night getting statements from the skateboarders who found the woman as well as the girl who stole part of the cash from the deceased.

The next morning, Olivia and Elliot continue working the case, getting O'Halloran's findings from CSU. He hands them a condom wrapper, saying only the victim's prints are on it, and Elliot thinks the rapist was smart to take the condom with him.

"I don't think there was a rapist. This could be consensual sex gone bad," Olivia says after taking a look at the wrapper.

"How did you get that off the wrapper?" Elliot asks.

"It's from the Box. It's a sex club run by women."

"Come again?" O"Halloran asks.

"That's the idea," she replies without batting an eye. "It's a party where women live out their sexual fantasies. This place is three blocks from the crime scene."

She sees Elliot raise an eyebrow and she knows he is going to question her about how she knows so much about this club. She thanks O'Halloran and they leave, and sure enough, Elliot brings it up even before they reach the car.

"So … women living out their sexual fantasies, huh?"

She grins, knowing Elliot must be dying to know if she's ever participated in such a party. She hasn't, but she enjoys teasing him with the idea a bit.

"Yeah. It's great. No annoying Alpha males strutting around. Just us girls being girls. We're in charge. Any man is just a guest who plays by our rules."

She can see her partner hesitate. He doesn't know whether he should take her seriously or not and she loves it. He's been relaxing little by little after moving out of the family home to his apartment in Manhattan and she's glad. His brooding was becoming a little too annoying, even for her. Elliot is her best friend in the world and they walk a thin line sometimes, somewhere between flirting and having fun. She doesn't expect them to ever cross that line though. Knowing Elliot, he will eventually go back to his family so she tries not to think about him as a single man. She values their friendship too much to risk it for something that may ultimately just be temporary.

"Liv, you really go to places like that?" Elliot finally asks after they get in the car, and she can't hold back her laughter anymore.

"Do you think I need that?" she asks while putting on her seatbelt.

Her partner shrugs and starts the engine.

"I have no idea what you need in _that_ department."

"Well, let's keep it that way, shall we?" she says and she grins when Elliot just sighs and doesn't ask her anything else. He will be wondering about her and those parties for a while …

They continue working the case all day long and well into the evening and Olivia is beginning to feel the lack of sleep. Fin has already gone home but she's been up since 2.30 AM and it is beginning to take its toll on her. She has yawned several times already and is starting to wonder how huge the bags under her eyes will be the next day. She is supposed to go out to dinner with Trevor the next evening and she really needs to sleep before then.

Late that night, Mildred Contana, a concerned neighbor and the head of the New American's Justice center, gives them a list of other victims. They are all illegals so they are very reluctant to come forward, which is probably why they are being targeted in the first place. They finally call it a night, deciding that they will visit the victims the next day and try to get one of them to talk, because they can't prosecute a rapist without at least one victim coming forward.

She won't be on call tonight and when her head finally hits her pillow that night, she is out like a light instantly.

…

 **I feel like I didn't write much content in this chapter but I wanted to put some Olivia/Elliot banter in here too, so you know where they stand in this story. So far, Olivia insists she is not going on a date with Trevor. We'll see if that changes … Reviews are life.**


	5. Nothing fancy

**5\. Nothing fancy**

Trevor has been able to keep busy all Tuesday and Wednesday morning, but by noon he is beginning to get a little jittery. He is in his office reviewing his preparations for a court case he has the next morning and doesn't have any new cases on his plate at the moment. His partner Henshall picked up the latest case involving a rape in the Bronx and he's relieved he doesn't have to defend yet another suspect in a rape case. Somehow it doesn't feel right to be in one of those cases while he tries to get to know a detective better who works at a Special Victims unit.

He wonders what Olivia is doing and if she is having a busy day. What if she calls to tell him she can't make it to dinner? Would that mean she's reconsidering meeting him? And what if she doesn't call him? They have agreed to meet at the restaurant he picked and he can only hope she'll show up. He chose a place that's not too fancy on purpose because Olivia doesn't strike him as the type who can be wooed with expensive things. Maybe that's one of the things he likes about her. She's all about content, and while she takes good care of herself, he knows that appearances aren't at the top of her list at all. So he's thought about where to take her and has picked a small Italian place in Midtown, tucked away between several other small businesses. He's been there before so he knows the food is excellent, the restaurant is clean and the staff are very friendly, but it won't look as if he is trying to impress her.

He has wondered about what to wear. He's told her it wouldn't be too formal but he is used to wearing suits. He can't believe he is actually thinking about clothes and shakes his head. He had told himself several times that he shouldn't get his hopes up but he can't ignore the tiny bubbles in his stomach, telling him he is more that just a little interested in detective Benson. He knows there is more to her than just a pretty face and he wants to peel off the layers to find out who she truly is. Saying he's in love with her might be premature but he is definitely not unaffected by her presence.

After another half hour of studying his papers, he slams his file shut and leans back in his comfortable desk chair. He gazes out over the city, that always seems so peaceful from up here, on the 52nd floor of the huge office building from which they operate their modest law firm. He and his partner Henshall only have four other attorneys working for them, and they each have a personal assistant. Just eight people but they are doing very well for themselves in the big city. He's come a long way but he hasn't forgotten his humble beginnings. It's tempting to get caught up in the world of money and glamour, but he hopes he will be able to show Olivia that there is more to him than meets the eye.

She calls him at six and his heart sinks. He is certain she's going to cancel their plans. He is at home and has finally chosen his attire, a dark blue suit jacket, a white dress shirt without a tie and dark jeans. He has just finished taking a shower and has shaved meticulously, and was just going to get dressed when she calls him.

"Langan," he says, bracing himself for what she is going to say.

"Hey counselor, it's Olivia Benson. I'm running a bit late. Can we make it seven thirty in stead?"

He needs a moment to recover from the relief that washes over him and the realization that this dinner must have meant more to him than he'd realized. He quickly tells Olivia that seven thirty is perfectly fine and then has an idea.

"I could pick you up at home if that's more convenient for you?" he suggests.

There is a brief pause and he wonders if he's overstepped. Then he hears her say calmly,

"No, it's fine. I'll meet you there."

They end the call and he wonders if it's just him or if her voice had sounded a little flat. She must be tired, he argues, already defending her before he knows if she needs defending, the lawyer in him always at work.

He arrives at the restaurant at seven ten and explains to the owner that his company will be a little late. The Italian lady offers him a complimentary drink while he waits at their table for two in the back, and he is still sipping his red wine when Olivia arrives twenty-five minutes later. He had been glancing at the door several times already and jumps up when he sees her enter. She smiles when she sees him and he takes her in when she walks over to their table, her shoulder-length hair bobbing as she walks. Her long black overcoat hangs open and his eyes drop to her legs immediately. She is wearing a black dress and as soon as she stops at the table, he offers to take her coat so he can see the rest of it.

The dress is simple yet elegant, fitting her like a glove. He thinks she would probably look great in a trash bag but he doesn't mind the way the tight dress accentuates her curves. The neckline is high and round and he has to admit that the way she hides her skin is almost more intriguing than some cleavage would have been. Her tight sleeves end just below the elbows, the skirt just above the knees and she wears black high heels, decreasing the difference in height between them just a little bit.  
She takes in his attire after he's taken her coat and he thinks he sees a hint of appreciation in her eyes when she looks at his jeans. She doesn't comment though, and when they sit down, a waiter pops up next to their table, asking if Olivia wants something to drink. He is carrying a bottle of the wine Trevor has already been drinking and Trevor points at it, telling her,

"They import this wine themselves. I'd recommend it."

"You come here often?" Olivia asks.

"Been here a few times," he admits. "I had to be sure the food was good before inviting you, right?"

She smiles again and tells the waiter she'll have a glass of the same wine. After he fills up Olivia's glass and pours Trevor a refill, the waiter leaves them with the bottle and the menus, promising he'll be back later.

Trevor watches as Olivia takes her first sip of the wine.

"Very nice," she agrees.

Trevor asks about Olivia's day and thinks he sees a shadow fall over her face briefly.

"We're working on a tough case of a man raping illegals who are afraid to come forward, but we're making some headway," she says neutrally.

"You have a suspect?"

Olivia nods and looks straight at him when she tells him,

"Yes. A lawyer."

Ouch. He suddenly understands why her voice had sounded flat earlier and why her face clouded over just now. She is basically going against her own rule of not dating lawyers by meeting him, and now even the suspect in her latest case is a lawyer. He appreciates it even more now that she has decided to come and decides to tell her that.

"Thanks for meeting me, Olivia. I guess I couldn't have blamed you if you had reconsidered."

He sees surprise in her eyes and wonders what kind of cold-hearted monster she actually thinks he is. Some simple understanding shouldn't surprise her like that.

"Well, we _are_ on opposite sides of the table when we're on the same case, but I hardly expect you to be the one in the suspect's seat, Langan," Olivia says.

"Rest assured, if that ever happens, I've been set up. And please call me Trevor."

Olivia smiles and nods, taking in his words.

"I think I'd buy that. That you'd been set up ... Trevor."

He picks up his glass and holds it up.

"Let's pray that day never comes."

"Hear hear," Olivia responds, and they clink their glasses together before taking another sip.

…

So far, Olivia is mildly surprised. Not about the fact that Trevor was already waiting for her. She'd expected that. But jeans? He'd said nothing fancy but she hadn't expected him to wear jeans. Somehow it makes him look less distant. Less formal. She likes it.

And he is understanding about her attitude towards lawyers. Towards _him_. He's told her that there is more to him than just the bottom line and she wants to know what that means to someone like him. Does it mean he gives to charity sometimes or does a pro bono case ever once in awhile? What does a man like Trevor Langan do to assuage his conscience over defending perverts?

She's dead tired but she has made an effort to look nice. Her dress is simple and qualifies as nothing fancy, but she knows she looks good in it. This may be a one time thing and she didn't want to come rushing in still in her work attire, so she's taken the time to shower at home. The extra thirty minutes have helped her relax and put the case out of her head for the time being. She knows Elliot is following up on their suspect and will ask Casey to check him out, and after that he is off the clock too. If anything new pops up, Munch and Fin are on call until morning, so she's decided to just enjoy her evening.

They choose their meals, making light conversation about the menu and Olivia relaxes some more. It's nice to be out to dinner and so far, she is enjoying the company as well. Trevor talks easily, which shouldn't surprise her since he talks for a living. But what he says is interesting and entertaining too. He knows a lot about food and the origin of several dishes and ingredients, and she can't help thinking that he doesn't look like he eats a lot. He's tall and slender, and filled out just right in the right places. Those jeans really do look good on the man and she steals another glance at his butt when he gets up to use the bathroom after they have placed their orders. She catches herself thinking, if only he wasn't a defense attorney ...

...


	6. Opening moves

**Having fun with these two. I hope you'll like what I'm doing here …**

...

 **6\. Opening moves**

"So tell me, _Trevor_ ," Olivia says, emphasizing his name as if she is still getting used to calling him that instead of Langan or Counselor.

"What makes you tag along with Justin now that he is off the hook?"

He's glad that Olivia doesn't beat around the bush. He is aware that she is a skilled mental chess player as well, and her opening move is a bold one. He likes it and he smiles. Their appetizers have arrived and Olivia blows her soup quietly while looking at him, waiting for his answer.

"Well, like I said. Despite the age difference, I think he and Carrie really love each other. I usually handle cases involving money, but this one's about people. That's different."

Olivia nods, but doesn't acknowledge all of his words. She focuses on one part of it.

"Cases involving money also involve people. Especially when they're being scammed out of their life savings or pensions."

She's right of course. But he is seldom confronted with his clients' alleged victims. By the time a fraud case goes to court, the plaintiffs have usually arranged for representation in court for the whole group, choosing someone who is well-spoken and relatively detached. The others may be in the audience but he doesn't always know. Sometimes when one of the victims takes the stand, he realizes that it isn't just about money. Sometimes, hopes and dreams are shattered because of his clients' alleged dishonestly. And so he admits,

"That is true. So I guess some people affect me more than others."

"What does it take to affect you, _Trevor_?"

He catches the double meaning in her question instantly and the glint of amusement in her eyes makes his stomach flutter. He'd like to move from dry case stuff to some more playful banter and thinks fast.

"I guess you could call me a hopeless romantic, so relationships under pressure would do the trick for me."

Olivia straightens her back and he can tell he's surprised her again. She keeps her eyes on her soup and continues eating calmly but he knows she's thinking about a comeback. And so he waits. It's her turn to make a move.

"And you think a fifteen-year old bludgeoning her own mother to death to be with her twenty-one-year old boyfriend is romantic?"

Her words are sharp but he can't help noticing that her voice isn't. She has an opinion about the case but her question is meant to probe him further. She is really interested in him. Or maybe she's interested in people like him, but for the time being he'll pretend she is trying to get to know _him_ better.

"Murder in itself is never romantic of course," he says, giving her that much. "But the emotion behind it, the despair? That's a part of human nature that love can trigger. Look at Romeo and Juliet. They weren't playing either."

...

Olivia lets his words sink in and takes another sip of wine, leaning back in her chair. They have finished their appetizers and she thinks it's interesting that Trevor has chosen a salad to start with. Elliot often teases her that she eats like a rodent. She's actually really hungry and has opted for salty soup this time, but she usually has a salad too. So he eats salad _and_ he references classical literature?

She knows all about triggered emotions but she wonders how much Trevor knows about them. And so she asks him,

"Have you ever been triggered by love to do something outrageous?"

She remembers how he'd hinted that he might have personal experience with what he'd called puppy love. His smile lights up his face and his bright blue eyes, and she looks away briefly. Trevor also leans back and places his hands on the table, palms down. His open stance makes her want to shield herself, to fold her arms in front of her, but she doesn't. She doesn't want to show any signs of insecurity in her body language. And so she looks at him, fully expecting him to tell her about some high school crush who made him skip classes or something. But he doesn't. Instead, he tells her with that low, husky voice of his,

"Would you believe I am still looking for that one woman who will be worth all the outrageousness in the world?"

Olivia forces herself not to swallow and slowly folds her arms after all, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the table.

"I'm sure you don't have any trouble attracting the ladies," she says neutrally.

"Maybe not, but I guess I have pretty high standards," he counters.

He is opening the door to an entire line of questioning and she has to wonder if he isn't goading her into dangerous territory. This isn't a date, she reminds herself. She just agreed to meet him to find out more about what makes a defense attorney tick. So she needs to move the conversation back to him, and away from what he is looking for in a potential mate.

"What are those standards with regards to your clients, exactly?" she asks him and the amusement in his eyes is unmistakable.

He is enjoying this game of words and wit. Two can play that game but he seems to thrive on the challenge.

"I don't have to live with my clients," he replies and she has to admit he is good at this game, because before she's realized it she has asked him,

"Have you ever lived with a woman?"

She wants to bite her tongue the instant the words leave her mouth and she registers him checking the scoreboard. One point for the lawyer.

"I have. Have you?"

She can't help but laugh then and his warm smile is actually … attractive. So he has lived with a woman?

"I have actually. With my mother and then with my roommate in college," she quips.

Trevor taps one finger on the table, feigning impatience.

"Those don't count, Olivia. You know what I mean."

"Alright. No. I haven't lived with a woman. And I think you knew that already."

His smile is infectious and she can't help smiling too.

...

When she doesn't say anything else, Trevor asks her,

"Don't you want to know why it ended?"

He is getting bolder now, because he has a feeling that Olivia will eventually go along with some innocent flirting.

She sighs, but he can see she's still amused and just pretending to be bored when she tells him,

"Okay, just tell me and get it over with."

"She didn't fight me on anything."

Olivia huffs and leans back in her seat again, one perfect eyebrow raised.

"You're serious."

"Absolutely."

He can see the wheels turning in her head and wonders if she is drawing the same conclusion he is. _She_ would definitely fight him. On everything, probably. And that's the challenge he loves so much. It's the thrill of the fight, and of eventually finding a balance between two forces that needs constant attention to be maintained, and that makes sparks fly when it's tilting to one side or the other. That's what makes life exciting and he can imagine it making for an amazing sex life.  
That thrill is what he loves about his job as well. He doesn't mind an easy case every once in awhile, but he loves the challenge of a case with many twists and turns, that he can try and mold into the outcome he wants for his client.

"So you had this sweet, adoring woman at home, catering to your every need and you kicked her out because she never told you off?"

Trevor wiggles his head and looks away briefly. How honest is he going to be with her this first time?

"Actually, she kicked me out," he admits, but he knows it's a weak move.

Olivia will want to know why. And so he adds,

"Because I was never home anymore."

Their waiter comes over to clear their table and tells them the main course will arrive shortly. The interruption gives Olivia some extra time to digest what he's just told her and he is curious if she is going to ask him more about his failed relationship or not. He feels slightly disappointed when she steers the conversation away from the relationship and back to him. On the other hand, the new topic is something he can work with.

"So where do you go when you're not home? What else do you do besides work?" Olivia asks him.

"Ah, what does a lawyer do for a hobby?" he smirks. "Well, I visit my family often and love watching my ten year old nephew's soccer games. I enjoy reading and going to classical concerts and going out to dinner. But only with good company, of course."

She almost seems shy when he says that and he thinks he may have struck a cord.

"How 'bout you?" he asks her. "What do you do outside work, except having dinner with me?"

He sees an almost triumphant gleam in her eyes before she responds.

"Well, basically I spend just about every waking hour with Elliot. When I don't work, I sleep. And even then I'm with Elliot sometimes, crashing in the cribs at the station or taking turns napping during a stakeout."

He gets it. He knows what game she's playing now.

She's trying to make him jealous.

She's actually using the ever-present tension between him and Elliot as well as her own closeness to the man against him. He supposes his wide grin is a dead giveaway that he loves playing this game with her.

The waiter returns with their main course and he can see a small smile still playing on Olivia's lips when she inspects what is on her plate. He can tell she's enjoying the game as well. When she looks up at him, there are still little lights dancing in her eyes and he is mesmerised for a moment. Which, of course, she notices.

"This looks delicious," she says sweetly, never breaking eye-contact with him. "Let's eat, shall we?"

…

 **To be continued ...**

 **Please review to keep me motivated to write!**


	7. Smile

**7\. Smile**

He watches her eat her lasagna and can hardly believe that the often so closed-off detective has decided to play the game. She seems completely calm and collected but the static electricity between them is almost tangible as they both plot their next move in silence. It's not an uncomfortable silence. Not at all. He is excited and eager to continue this elaborate dance they have started. He knows it will take a lot of time to get closer to Olivia Benson but he is up for it. He feels more alive than he has in a long time.

Trevor eats his food quietly, enjoying the peppered spaghetti dish he has chosen. He likes his food well-seasoned, just like his company. When he sees Olivia down the last bit of her wine, he grabs the bottle and holds it up.

"You want some more?"

Olivia nods and smiles.

"Please. It's really good."

He fills his own glass up as well and they both drink a few sips.

"So," he finally says when he puts his glass back down, having decided on his next move.

Olivia looks up at him, resting her hands on the table for a moment to wait for what he is going to say.

"What do _you_ do on the rare occasions you don't have to hang out with that partner of yours."

He can tell that Olivia appreciates it that he doesn't evade the subject of Elliot Stabler. No need to acknowledge him as a competitor, he's decided. If Olivia had wanted to take things further with her partner now that he's separated from his wife, he assumes she would've made a move by now. And she wouldn't be here with him. He doesn't really want to think about the alternative; that she's actually only here to suss him out and nothing more. But the way she is playing the game tells him that she's enjoying herself, even if she may not have planned to enjoy herself beforehand.

Olivia smiles and cocks her head a bit, as if deep in thought. He thinks it's adorable because he knows it's an act, but he knows better than to say anything. Adorable won't be a word Olivia Benson would like to be associated with.

"Well, I don't really have much time to do the things I'd love to do, but I like reading, visiting art galleries, things like that. And I'd really love to go to Paris one day."

He is surprised that she's actually done nothing but answer his question. She has barely moved a pawn on the chessboard and he has to admit that her words warm his heart. He'd want to take her to see Paris if she'd let him, just to make her wish come true. He's pretty sure they would have fun, even if they didn't get much closer than they were now. He catches himself picturing them as friends, and while he is definitely attracted to Olivia as a woman, he would really like to be her friend, too. He needs to get a grip on reality fast, because they aren't friends. Not even remotely. She is clearly testing the waters and there is no guarantee that she'll even want to see him again after tonight. He needs to stop getting ahead of himself, but that seems to be the effect the beautiful detective has on him these days.

…

Olivia is enjoying their little word play so far, but she wants to know how her companion will react to normal conversation. She knows he has a way with words but playing word games isn't the same as talking to each other, even if they learn things about each other that way too. She has to admit the man has piqued her interest. He is very easy on the eyes, which she already knew of course, but he is good company too. Better than she'd expected.

"You know a lot about art then?" Trevor asks her, and the enthusiasm with which he ask his question is contagious.

She tells him she isn't exactly an art buff but she knows her Van Gogh from her Goya and simply enjoys to look at beautiful things that were made with devotion and craftsmanship. When asked, Trevor admits he is the same. He loves to inhale the atmosphere of a painting or sculpture, even if he doesn't always know the story behind it or the artist who made it.

"We should go to an exhibit together," he tells her and she feels herself being pulled into the idea. It has been a long time since she's spent time with someone who appreciates art and she misses it.

"Maybe we should," she says quietly, looking down at her food and realizing that she has just opened the door to a second date.

No.

Not a date.

A second non-date.

 _Sheesh._

She almost blushes at her own thoughts, glad to know he can't hear what she's thinking. When she looks up from her food, her stomach flutters a bit. The look in his eyes almost seems to tell her he _can_ hear what she's thinking, because he is clearly amused. His eyes sparkle as if he has just scored another point. Well, he has, she tells herself, because he's just made her agree to a second … meeting. Yeah, that's a good word.

"I'd be happy to look around and see if there's anything interesting in town," Trevor chatters on and Olivia sighs internally.

She is basically stuck with the second meeting now, so he's definitely scored another point. She doesn't quite know what to say and that's a first this evening. Trevor is only too happy to fill in the gap for her and tells her he'll definitely call her to set something up if he finds an interesting exhibition.

"It'll be nice to see if I can pick something you like," he adds with the cutest of smiles. "You know, like a test."

"A test of what?" Olivia blurts out. "Getting inside the head of the NYPD?"

Trevor laughs heartily and she can't help chuckling too. She should lighten up a bit. The man is clearly harmless and apparently just interested in spending a little more time with her. It will give her the opportunity to study the man behind the lawyer a bit better, she argues.

They spend the rest of their time with innocent chit-chat, although Olivia stays on guard a bit. There is no telling when Trevor is going to pull another stealthy move and she needs to stay vigilant. But by the time they are ready to order dessert, they are both relaxed and smiling. Olivia has eaten well and orders a plain cup of coffee, while Trevor insists that a meal is not complete without a proper dessert. He orders ice cream and digs in exaggeratedly once it arrives.

Olivia has to admit it looks delicious and when Trevor catches her staring, he offers her a bite. She declines immediately. It's a reflex.

"No no, thanks. It's all yours."

Trevor smiles and observes her for a while as she takes a sip of her coffee. She tries to ignore his stare and looks at his ice cream again. Trevor scoops up a bit of strawberry ice cream and holds his spoon out to her.

"Come on. Just a little taste to know what it's like," he coaxes her and his boyish smile is hard to resist. And he's not done yet.

"Humor me Olivia. Make me feel like I've wooed you a bit tonight."

She rolls her eyes but can't help grinning and decides just to take the bite and be done with his charm. Trevor's victorious grin as she opens her mouth makes her chuckle as she closes her mouth, and she spills some ice cream on her upper lip. She has to admit the ice cream is delicious and nods appreciatively while savoring the sweet, cold substance in her mouth. When Trevor reaches over the table to swipe some ice cream off her lip with his thumb, she holds her breath.

"You had a …" Trevor explains shyly.

"Yeah, okay," she says quickly.

"It's gone now."

"Thanks."

"Right."

She can tell he is affected by his own gesture too and it helps her regain her own balance a bit. Just breathe, she tells herself. Her next sip of coffee is hot compared to the cold ice cream and she winces a bit. Trevor is focused on his dessert again and Olivia wills herself not to read too much into the evening, or his charm, or his apparent shock at touching her. It's no big deal, she insists. No big deal at all.

…

They share a cab back to Olivia's place and Trevor asks the driver to wait while he walks Olivia to the door of her building. He is very pleased with how their evening has gone. He's definitely made some progress with Olivia and he is looking forward to surprising her by finding an art exhibit for them to go to, preferably as soon as the upcoming weekend. He knows they are nowhere near a real friendship yet but the ice has melted a bit. He will just have to keep making the right moves to thaw her out further. She seems a little uncomfortable when she turns around to face him, and he wonders if she is actually nervous about saying goodnight to him. As much as he'd like to, he knows better than to kiss her. But he wonders if she knows how respectful he is of her boundaries. There is still so much they don't know about each other and he can't wait to get to know her better. Much better.

He stops one step lower on the steps than Olivia so they are almost face to face.

"Olivia, thank you for having dinner with me tonight," he says kindly.

"You're welcome."

"I had a great time. I hope it wasn't too horrible for you either to spend time with a lawyer," he jokes, and one corner of her mouth tugs up.

"It wasn't half bad," she gives him. "The food was very good."

"Food huh? So that's the way to go with you? Good to know," he quips, and he chances throwing in a little wink.

Olivia raises an eyebrow but he can tell she is trying not to smile. She's done that a lot, he realizes. Smile. She has the most beautiful smile and he loves being the one to put it on her face. He looks down and reaches for her hand. He gives it a gentle squeeze and looks into her eyes, that have gone a little wider.

"Goodnight, Olivia," he says calmly.

"Goodnight, Trevor," she replies, seemingly automatically.

He rubs the back of her hand with his thumb before releasing it altogether. Then he says softly,

"Be safe."

He turns around and walks back to the waiting cab. When he looks at her one more time before getting in, she is still standing there, motionless, looking at him. He waves, smiles and gets into the cab, that drives off immediately. Seeing her standing there, staring after him, he feels triumphant. Dinner had been a good move. It had been a very good move.

…

 **To be continued ...**


	8. Work of Art

**This chapter is a little longer because I couldn't find a suitable cutoff point earlier. Hope you don't mind :)  
Disclaimer: Olivia's views about lawyers are her own (not mine) and will evolve further in this story.  
**

...

 **8\. Work of Art**

The lawyer didn't do it.

Part of her is relieved for a reason she isn't ready to admit to herself, but another part of her is even more disturbed. Because the reason the lawyer hasn't talked is to protect his client. His very wealthy, serial rapist client. She understands the law and attorney-client privilege but it doesn't make it much easier for her to accept that lawyers actually shield criminals like this one knowingly. She figures it has to take a special breed of humans to even want to do that.

She has other things to worry about when Nina, the only victim willing to talk, turns up missing. Arrested as it turns out, by two men from the immigration office. They had received an anonymous tip about Nina's whereabouts as well as suspicion of ties to a terrorist group, and it's not difficult to guess who gave them the tip. Either their suspect, who is a very weird, compulsive computer geek, or, more likely, his cunning lawyer.

Casey comes through and manages to get the paperwork in order before Nina is deported, so Nina can stay in the country temporarily, while she cooperates with the prosecution in her rape case.

Olivia tries to relax when she gets home on Friday night. They'll get the guy, no matter what stunts his lawyer tries to pull. She takes a shower and changes into comfortable sweats just before her Thai food arrives, and she settles in on her comfortable couch in front of the TV. She doesn't really watch the football game that's on but she likes the background noise and it's better than the news, which is usually depressing. She thinks about Nina and how difficult it is for the traditional girl to have lost her virginity through a rape. She is even afraid to tell her own brother what's happened to her because it will mean shame for her entire family. It's a miracle that she is willing to do the lineup at all. It's scheduled first thing Saturday morning and Olivia has promised Nina she'll be there. Casey is looking forward to telling their suspect's stuck-up lawyer Jason Whitaker that he's expected to show up at SVU with his client. Olivia knows the case is in good hands with Casey, who won't stop until she gets her perp behind bars.

She enjoys her meal and the quiet evening and has just opened her second beer of the night when her phone rings. She leans over to her coffee table reluctantly, expecting it to be work, but is surprised to see Trevor's number on her screen. She remembers then, he was going to look for an art exhibit for them to go to.

"Benson," she says, answering formally on purpose, and she smiles when he answers with his own formal,

"Langan."

"Good evening counselor."

"Good evening detective."

She can't help grinning and hopes Trevor doesn't pick up on that. She still feels a bit uneasy about their runin with another lawyer defending a rapist and can't quite square her natural distaste of these defense attorneys with her reaction to this particular one who is calling her. Trevor continues undauntedly, unaware of her internal struggle.

"So, I've been checking around and there actually is a very interesting exhibit of Rubens drawings and several other works of his at the Metropolitan Museum at the moment. If you haven't seen them yet, maybe we could go tomorrow?"

Olivia is genuinely surprised at his choice. She actually loves the work of the Flemish baroque artist and others like him. She's seen a few ads for the exhibit but she hasn't even considered going because of the job. Fitting a visit to a museum in between a lineup and an evening meeting with Casey has never even crossed her mind, but it actually sounds like a great escape from the job.

"I haven't seen it yet," she tells Trevor, "but I have to work tomorrow morning. I promised a girl I'd be with her during a lineup."

"Ah, you're hoping for a positive ID of your suspect."

"If he's guilty, yes," she answers diplomatically and she can hear Trevor chuckle softly.

"Of course. Well, we could go after lunch, say around two? We don't have to be there all day so if you need to get groceries for the weekend or something, there should be plenty of time left."

She likes his practical approach and also that he doesn't plan on spending the entire day with her. She is aware that she may be getting the man's hopes up when she agrees to meet him on the steps of the museum at two. Maybe she's even toying with the idea of having a fling with him, since he's clearly interested as well as very handsome and well-built. She's never dated a man as tall as Trevor Langan and she can't help wondering if everything about him is proportionate to his unusual height …

Trevor's chipper voice pulls her out of her thoughts and she feels herself blush as if she's been caught thinking about Trevor's physique. She's glad they are on the phone so he won't see her flushed face at her slip of the brain. After ending the call she sighs and shakes her head. He's a lawyer, she reminds herself. They'd be the definition of a conflict of interests. And she doesn't date lawyers. They are just going to look at art together, that's it.

…

Nina picks their main suspect out of the lineup. Olivia is relieved and offers to take the young woman home, but she declines, telling her that Casey is going to drive her home. Olivia is glad that Casey is determined to get their perp and is protective of their victim. She has several cases on her plate simultaneously but seems to have no problem switching between them. Carrie's trial is starting next Wednesday and she's assured Olivia that she's ready for whatever Bryce is going to throw at her, no matter what George Huang says about her menstrual cycle.

When Olivia returns to her desk, she checks the time. Her partner is at his desk as well and watches her as she sits down with a sigh.

"You okay?" he inquires. "Weren't you taking Nina home?"

"Casey's got it covered. I think she wanted to talk to her some more, so I thought I'd get some paperwork done while I'm here."

Elliot nods and leans back in his chair, resting his elbows on the armrests and pressing his fingertips together in front of him. She looks at him and sees that he's still watching her.

"What?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," he says quickly but she knows it's not nothing when he looks at her like that. She can't imagine that he could even fathom that she is going to see someone after lunch.

It's not a date, of course, but Elliot will see it as one for sure. But how could he even suspect something like that? They had both come in on time and she hasn't even hinted that she had other plans this Saturday. She's even scheduled a meeting with Casey tonight to go over both cases so there is no way Elliot even has an inkling about her plans. He's very perceptive though, so maybe it's something about her that is different? She suddenly feels very self-conscious. She doesn't want Elliot to know she's meeting Trevor later. Grabbing a file from her desk and opening it, she frowns at Elliot once more. He just shrugs and lets it go. When she checks the time again ten minutes later, she expects him to make another comment, but when she glances up from her paperwork, Elliot just narrows his eyes and then gives her a lazy smile. She doesn't know what irks her more, when he prods her for information about her dates or this gleeful silence, looking as if he _knows_ something. He's always known her too well anyway, but she isn't going to tell him about Trevor. No way.

…

He should have known it would be crowded on the steps of the museum on a Saturday afternoon and he's glad he towers high above most people so he can scan the area for Olivia. It's already ten past two and he feels himself get a little nervous. He checks his phone but he has no new messages and no missed calls. Just when he looks up again, he spots her. Olivia raises one hand and he smiles as she makes her way towards him, relief flooding his system once again. Part of him still can't believe she's meeting him for the second time. She starts apologizing even before she reaches him on the top step, telling him she really had to freshen up at home first. He approves very much of how she's freshened herself up. She is wearing a purple dress underneath her black overcoat and his eyes drop down to her long legs automatically before they flick up to her eyes. She's caught him appreciating her appearance and when she smiles, her eyes light up a bit. Those big brown eyes are as mesmerizing as they are intimidating sometimes, but Trevor feels bold. She is here so he is making progress. He offers her his arm with a broad smile, and she loops her arm through his so they can make their way through the crowd and towards the entrance of the museum together.

After shedding their coats and handing them off to an attendant, they wander from one room to the next and marvel at the sketches and drawings the renowned artist has made in preparation of his famous and less famous works. When they arrive in a large room with several completed paintings, Olivia holds her breath. Trevor loves watching her reaction to the art they are looking at. She's a work of art herself, he can't help thinking. He's seen the adoration in her eyes when they were looking at sketches of children and he thought of her as a mother again. She'd be a perfect mother ... When Olivia catches him staring she shoves him playfully and it makes his stomach flutter even more.

"Knock it off, Langan," she mutters and he chuckles.

When Olivia glances around to see if anyone has noticed their little skirmish, he puts a hand on her back gently and leans down to tell her softly,

"They're all watching the paintings, not you. Their loss."

She looks the other way but he catches her smile. And more importantly, she doesn't move away from him. Instead, she leans against him a bit while pointing at another painting.

"Let's check that one out," she suggests.

The walk up to the painting and stand close together while they inspect it. As is often the case with Rubens, there are nude models in the picture, and they are very voluptuous. They have already discussed how plus sizes were considered especially attractive in Rubens' time and point out a few details to each other.

"I wonder why he usually painted the men as muscular while more fat on a woman was considered an esthetic of beauty," Olivia muses and Trevor presses his lips together to keep from smiling too widely.

"Maybe they needed to be strong so they could lift up their beautiful, chubby spouses," he says as seriously as he can manage, but when Olivia whips around to look at him and registers the playfulness in his eyes, he laughs out loud. Another couple, standing not too far away from them, chuckles as well and Trevor can see that Olivia's initial embarrassment gives way to amusement. The other woman is a plus size too and her husband is grinning at his wife while she smiles as well. Trevor pushes the issue just a little further by leaning close to Olivia's ear and telling her softly,

"I'm sure you would have turned some heads in those days too, Liv. Even if you are skinny."

Olivia huffs and he loves that she doesn't have a comeback instantly.

"I'm not skinny," is all she comes up with and he knows he's thrown her off again.

And still, she doesn't move away from him, accepting his compliments about her appearance when he confirms she's beautiful, just like the other woman watching the painting and the women _in_ the painting. He can't help laughing out loud again when he hears Olivia mutter,

"You sure have a way with words, counselor."

…

Olivia has to admit she is sorry that their afternoon is over. After wandering around the museum for a while, they had sat down to have some coffee before going their separate ways again. It has felt good to be away from the job and in a totally different world. A world that Trevor seems to fit in perfectly as if it's his own, and to her own surprise, she feels more at home in his world that she had expected. Now they are standing outside, ready to say goodbye. It's a bit chilly and Olivia pulls her coat around her. Trevor, ever the gentleman, wraps his arm around her shoulders. That's also something that feels better than she had expected. His little touches and gestures.

He is a very nice man who is very easy to talk to about all kinds of things. She has admitted that much to herself. And while she still doesn't understand the part of him that defends criminals and thinks it's a win when one goes free, she doesn't believe anymore that he must be rotten to the core to do his job. And so she smiles up at him, thanking him for the nice afternoon.

"You're most welcome Olivia," he tells her in that soft, low voice of his and she shivers unconsciously.

Trevor assumes she is shivering from the cold and stands a little closer to her, rubbing her back to warm her.

"Cold?" he asks her.

"A little," she admits, wrapping her arms around herself, "but nothing a brisk walk won't cure."

"Which way?" he asks and she quickly tells him she's going to cut through Central Park and will pick up some groceries on the way. Trevor insists on walking through the park with her, although she says she is used to it and can defend herself if necessary.

"I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you," he tells her, and Olivia knows he is being sincere.

And so she acquiesces.

He walks with her until they are out of the park and then they say goodbye. Olivia isn't ready to have him take her home. Not yet, she can't help thinking and she knows it's an admission in itself. She wants to see him again, and maybe next time, she will let him take her home …

…

 **Reviews make me happy.**


	9. Next move

**Well, that's what I get for being a detail freak. The dates of episodes 19 and 20 overlap, which isn't unusual since obviously, SVU cases can overlap. But there is something off … I will use my own creativity to make this stick again! (How's that for a teaser intro? :D)**

...

 **9\. Next move**

Casey has been working on their cases all day and after Olivia has changed back into her work outfit, she brings takeout to Casey's office. Casey tells her how Elliot has come up with evidence that may implicate their wealthy suspect in the rape case of illegal women, by retrieving a tissue used by their suspect Duvall from the trash.

"If the tissue links Gabriel Duvall to Margariette's murder, the case won't go to trial. He will plead out," Casey tells her.

Then Casey gets a call, letting her know there is someone at the desk with flowers for her.

"You holding out on me?" Olivia asks with a smirk but Casey assures her that she isn't seeing anyone, but if they're from Duvall's attorney, they're going straight in the trash. Olivia offers to get them both a cup of coffee before they go over Carrie's case one more time.

When she returns a while later, she is surprised not to see Casey in her office anymore and frowns as she passes the office windows before walking into the office.

"Casey, I had to go three blocks to find an open coffee shop. If you went home, I'll kill ya," she jokes.

But then she sees Casey, lying on the floor unconscious with blood on her face. The coffee is completely forgotten and Olivia rushes to her friend's aid. She calls an ambulance and alerts Elliot, who arrives just when Casey is being wheeled into the ambulance on a gurney.

"How's she doing?" Elliot asks, jogging over.

"Head trauma. She's still out."

"Did you see anything?"

"Perp was gone when I got there."

As she hops into the ambulance to ride with Casey, she tells Elliot,

"DA's office has a lot of surveillance cameras."

"I'm on it."

She knows Elliot is as outraged as she is that one of their own has been hurt, and this case is in good hands with him, so she focuses on Casey. Who could have hurt her like this? And why?

Once at the hospital, Olivia is relieved to learn that Casey will be alright. Most of the blood on her face came from her nose. Her assailant did hit the back of her head on her desk very hard, she has a concussion and a big bruise on her jaw. She will be held overnight for observation. Casey barely remembers what's happened and is immensely relieved that she hasn't been raped. She will need to take it easy for a few days but assures Olivia that she will be able to try Carrie.

Olivia feels her phone buzz and pulls it out, hoping to get some news from Elliot. But the text is from Trevor and she tries to suppress a smile.

"Now who's holding out on whom?" Casey mumbles from her hospital bed, and Olivia looks at the ADA, who looks sleepy but is also clearly amused.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asks innocently, quickly putting her phone away without reading the message, but Casey lifts a hand and wags her finger.

"Oh no, detective Benson. Don't do that to me. I need something to tie me over while I spend the night in this … establishment."

Olivia bites her lip. She has no intention of putting any kind of label on her dealings with Trevor Langan. They just had dinner once and visited a museum that afternoon. Nothing more. And he's texting her. But that's it. They're not dating.

"Come on Olivia," Casey pushes. "You don't have to tell me who it is. Just tell me what the text says. I'll create my own fantasy around it. Please?"

Olivia chuckles and she knows she can't refuse Casey in her current state, so she pulls out her phone again and opens the text message.

 _I had a great time this afternoon. Do you have plans tomorrow? TL_

Olivia blows out a breath slowly. If she reads that text to Casey she already knows what the ADA's next question will be in this interrogation. So she tries to skip part of it, telling her friend that a guy is asking her if she has plans tomorrow.

"Really," Casey says.

Her eyes are starting to close because of the sedative she's been given, and Olivia hopes the redhead will fall asleep before she can pry into her personal life any further.

"Yeah, really," she answers softly, but not softly enough because Casey's eyes pop open again.

"Is that all it says? No name or x-es?"

"No name, no x-es," Olivia says quickly. It's true, isn't it? She's not about to mention the first half of the text and open a whole new can of worms.

"So. _Do_ you have plans tomorrow?" Casey inquires.

"Not really. Maybe I'll hang out here and bother you all day long," Olivia quips, but despite her concussion, Casey isn't easily distracted.

"I'm sure hanging out with that guy will be more fun than hanging out with me half-drugged at the hospital."

Casey shifts in bed and winces, clearly in some pain.

"Your head?" Olivia asks, immediately concerned.

"Yes. I just need to lay still."

Once Casey is comfortable again, she closes her eyes and smiles contently. The painkillers must be kicking in. Olivia leaves the room quietly, relieved that Casey is resting and that she isn't asking her any further questions. She is still holding her phone in her hand and wonders what she should reply to Trevor's text. She's hoping they will catch the guy who attacked Casey this weekend so maybe she'll just be working on Sunday.

Her phone buzzes again and this time it is her partner calling. They've already caught the man and it's Nina's brother, who feels that Casey has brought shame to his family by exposing the fact that Nina is no longer a virgin. Olivia shakes her head after talking to Elliot on the phone briefly. She'll never understand how family 'honor', whatever that is, could be more important than getting justice for a family member. Shouldn't the brother be outraged at the rapist instead of his own sister and the people who are trying to help her?

Olivia stuffs her phone in her back pocket again and goes home. It's been a long day and she just wants to escape all the horrors for a while. She remembers her afternoon at the museum and has to admit that Trevor is really providing an escape for her. She enjoys his company and he has managed to pull her out of the darkness of the job twice now. After taking a shower and changing into her pajamas, Olivia sits down on her couch, phone in hand. She still hasn't replied to Trevor's text, and, to his credit, he hasn't sent another one. After debating with herself if she should or shouldn't encourage him, she finally types out her reply, hoping it will be neutral enough while she tries to get him to divulge what his plans may be with her.

 _May be working. You?_

She tries to relax while she waits for Trevor's answer but has to admit that she is eager to get a reply. She jumps when her phone buzzes and almost knocks it off her coffee table when she tries to grab it. She's pathetic. She can't believe how disappointed she is when she sees it's a text from Elliot, telling her that Nina's brother has made a confession and is in custody. She should be happy that Casey's attacker has been caught so fast but she finds herself wishing it had been Trevor texting her back with some extravagant idea to distract her from suspects, victims and perps again.

She answers Elliot's text, asks him if they are still on call the next day and then pours herself a glass of red. She really should be getting some sleep but she's still waiting ...

…

Trevor has been thinking about a reply for a while now. Olivia hasn't shut him down. She could have just said she may be working but she's added a question. _You?_ She's opened the door and he tries to think of the best move to make now. Should he suggest something special? Or maybe something simple instead. What would Olivia Benson enjoy doing on a quiet Sunday afternoon? His nephew's next soccer game isn't until next weekend so he has nowhere to be this Sunday afternoon.

The weather's been chilly but they are promising a few rays of sun the next day and he can see himself strolling down the river with Olivia, watching seagulls dive for fish, and once she gets cold, they'd duck into a little bistro and have some hot chocolate together.

He chuckles, shaking his head as he sits down in his comfortable armchair. He looks out over the city through the huge windows of his spacious apartment on the 80th floor of a pristine high rise. He's renting the place, of course. Even with his generous income as a high-priced lawyer, he still hasn't saved up enough money to be able to buy a place like this. He'd want to, but lately he is finding himself wandering around the rooms and wishing he wasn't up there alone. He can picture little feet on the soft carpets and toys strewn around, women's underwear drying in his luxury bathroom, and he's found himself daydreaming about another life. Lord knows he has enough money to be able to give a family a good life. He's spent a great deal on his own family already, sharing his success with the people who have helped him get there. But he wants more. He wants more than occasional dates who stay over after a while, only to leave again, thanking him for good food and good sex. He wants more than casual affairs and he finds himself picturing that life with the brunette he's spent his afternoon with today.

Trevor pours himself a glass of red and closes his eyes as he lets the first sip tickle his tongue. What should he text Olivia? What would make her interested in joining him the next day? He makes a decision after a while, going for simple honesty, and grabs his phone.

…

Olivia's heart skips a beat when she sees that she has another text from Trevor at last.

 _Was thinking of taking a long walk along the river. Would you join me?_

…

 **Will she? :) Please review!**

 **As for the inconsistency I found in the episodes: Casey was actually beaten up very badly in episode 20 but was her beautiful self during Carrie's trial in episode 19, which was on the same date she was still badly bruised in 20 ... so I had to make her a little less bruised here to get her back into shape before the trial. Writer's prerogative :)**


	10. Okay

**Alright, where were we?**

...

 **10\. Okay**

Olivia's heart skips a beat when she sees that she has another text from Trevor at last.

 _Was thinking of taking a long walk along the river. Would you join me?_

...

Trevor drinks his wine slowly and tries to picture Olivia reading his message. Will she be annoyed that he is trying to see her again? She did ask what his plans were so part of her must be curious about him. Will she think he's coming on too strong? And how does she feel about strolling along the river, with him or anyone else? he suddenly feels a little silly for suggesting it. She walks the streets of the city every day when she's on the job. Maybe she'd prefer to get away completely. He knows she's enjoyed disappearing for a while in the museum and he sighs. Maybe this was a wrong move. He needs to step up his game and find out more about Olivia.

He jolts when he feels his phone vibrate in his lap. An answer from Olivia? He sets down his glass and opens his phone, his hands suddenly a little clammy. He swears under his breath when he sees it's from his partner Henshall. Could he take over a case for him and report at their client's office Sunday around one? He has a mind to say no immediately. He was supposed to be off all weekend, but as partners, he and Henshall don't have the luxury that their employees have to stick to work days and office hours. Henshall has a family reunion on Sunday so he can't blame the man for asking, and after his disappointment has subsided a bit, he texts back that he'll be there at one and to send him the file. Olivia hasn't even responded yet anyway, he argues. Still, it sucks that he won't have the afternoon to himself after all.

Another ten minutes later, Olivia finally texts him. She's all business and she isn't. No comment on his suggestion to go for a walk at all, but she's not shooting him down either.

 _Not sure if I have to work. Will let you know tomorrow. What time did you have in mind?_

Trevor counts it as a win. She's open to the idea and it's more than he had expected. He tries to assess how long he'll be at their client's office. No doubt, the client won't want to spend his entire Sunday afternoon working either so he estimates he'll be done in an hour, two at the most. Not wanting to run the risk of having to cancel or change any plans with Olivia, he decides to leave the time open for now. So he responds,

 _We can decide tomorrow. Can I call you?_

Her answer comes back within a minute.

 _Okay._

Okay. That's all. But it puts a smile on his face. She is okay with him calling her. She is okay with the prospect of taking a walk with him. They are okay. He grins as he walks over to his home office to power up his laptop and download the case file he will need the next day. Okay.

...

Olivia wonders if she is making a mistake. Trevor will read more into it, she's certain of it. But more than what? Maybe there _is_ more. She isn't quite ready to admit that to herself, but when she finally crawls into bed, she recognizes the feeling she has about the next day. She's looking forward to it. Not because it's her day off, since that can change at a moment's notice. Not because the weather is improving a bit. It's because she is looking forward to seeing Trevor again. She's always known he is a handsome man, that's impossible not to notice. But actually thinking about his bright blue eyes and his charming smile, that part _is_ new. She sighs and shakes her head as she turns off the light on her nightstand. She knows what this is. She's felt it before. She wasn't ready for it this time but she can only blame herself. She could have shot him down the first time he called her, told him it was a mistake and gotten rid of him. But she hasn't and now she is hoping to meet him a third time. _Hoping_. That's it. That is that feeling. It is hope. Hope that maybe it's finally her turn now.

It takes her quite a while to fall asleep and she actually dreams about Trevor. It's not much of a dream but when she wakes up the next morning, she feels like she's only just seen him. The fact that this man fills her mind the instant she wakes up, and even before she woke up, is an unmistakable sign.

After breakfast and her first cup of coffee, Olivia checks her messages to see if she's expected to come in to work today. She's almost hoping that she's needed, just to have something to do for a few hours. But there are no new messages at all, so she decides to do her laundry and then visit Casey at the hospital.

Casey is already annoyed that the doctor hasn't signed her release papers yet. She is anxious to get home and get back to work.

"Relax. It's Sunday," Olivia tries after plopping in a chair next to Casey's hospital bed with a cup of coffee.

She has tried to relax herself, and has thrown on jeans, a white t-shirt, grey hoody and white sneakers.

"So? I still have to prepare Carrie's trial. It starts Wednesday," Casey fires back.

"Well, we have the facts. We know she killed her mother. You just need to convince the jury that she was perfectly sane when she did it. Upset, but sane."

"George says that PMDD is real Liv. It's been documented."

"I know."

Olivia sips her coffee slowly and thinks about the young girl she met a few weeks ago. She'd recognized something in her. A despair to get away from her controlling mother that she can relate to. It's why she got her a lawyer so the mother couldn't force her to take a rape kit. When the mother ended up dead and the girl and her boyfriend tried to cover their tracks, part of her sympathy for Carrie dissipated. The mom was overbearing but that didn't warrant murder.

"So," Casey said suddenly, interrupting her thoughts. "Any plans with your mystery guy later?"

Olivia rolls her eyes and tries to laugh it off, but Casey isn't deterred.

"Come on Liv. I'm sure you texted him back after you left here last night. And you're obviously not working today."

"We may still be called in," Olivia defends herself but she can see Casey isn't buying it.

She sighs and decides it's not the end of the world to admit that she's seeing someone.

"Alright, alright. I went out with this guy and now he's suggesting a walk down the river this afternoon."

"Aww, that's cute," Casey says with a lopsided smile.

The left side of her jaw is still a bit swollen and is turning a dark shade of purple.

Maybe Casey's right. It is kinda cute. Olivia has to admit she was surprised when Trevor suggested it. Of all the things he could have thought of to impress her, he suggests a stroll down the river? But maybe it's intentional, to throw her off and impress her in a different way. She frowns and wonders what game the man is playing.

"So you're going, right? You're already dressed for a casual walk anyway."

Olivia looks down at her attire and grins. He's never seen her like this. Maybe she won't change before meeting him, just to see his reaction. And Casey's definitely right about the shoes. She can walk for miles in these sneakers.

"So you like him?"

She can't deny that she does, but she isn't ready to admit it to anyone. She's always made it a point not to date lawyers. ADAs maybe, because they are on the same side of the cases as she is. But not the lawyers. It would end badly. They'd argue about cases. There is just no point in even trying it. But still, Trevor Langan seems determined to try anyway and no matter how hard she tries to ignore it, she really does like the man. He's interesting and cute. Polite and even modest in a weird way, because he clearly has money to spend ...

Casey doesn't even wait for an answer. She must have seen it in her face.

"Do I know him?"

"No," Olivia says quickly, hoping she won't seem too nervous about the whole thing.

Casey raises an eyebrow and watches her face. Olivia looks away. She can't start blushing now!

"If you say so," the ADA says slowly and now Olivia _knows_ she's blushing. "You're just lucky I've got a concussion, Benson."

Olivia huffs and stands up to walk to the window.

"So when are you being released anyway? I can drive you home if you want," she offers.

It's the least she can do after leaving Casey alone at her office. She wonders what Casey's attacker would have done if she'd still been there. In retrospect, he'd taken a huge risk going to her office while other people were still in the building. Maybe he'd expected to be caught and just doesn't care.

"That would be great," Casey sighs, accepting that the girl talk is over for now.

About an hour later, Olivia drops Casey off at her apartment, urging her to go and lie down and not underestimate her concussion. Casey promises to take it easy and work from home until her court date on Wednesday. Olivia jogs down the steps of Casey's building back to her car when her phone starts buzzing in the pocket of her hoody. It's Trevor.

...

 **More soon ;)**


	11. Walking

**I've never been to New York unfortunately so I'm going on maps, street view and other info to be found on line. I hope this works!**

...

 **11\. Walking**

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Hi."

Olivia feels that silly grin creep across her face again and quickly ducks into her car.

"What are you up to?" Trevor asks.

"I just took Casey home from the hospital," Olivia blurts out without considering if Trevor even knows what's happened to Casey.

"Hospital?" he asks, surprised. "Did something happen to her?"

Olivia closes her eyes briefly as she leans back in the driver's seat of the car. Why does she blab as if Trevor is her best friend all of a sudden? Where is her filter? Her reservation towards him as a man and a lawyer? Why isn't she on guard with him?

"Uh, yeah," she says, more hesitantly now. "I'm not sure I should tell you this though."

"Alright," Trevor says, and she can practically see him shrug. He is used to dealing with confidential matters after all. "I just hope she's okay."

"She will be," Olivia tells him, hoping they can drop the subject now.

"Good. I'm glad. So, are you working today?"

"No."

The silly grin comes back.

"Oh. Does that mean you'd … be free to meet me?"

Somehow she thinks his brief hesitation is adorable. He's always such a smooth talker and now he sounds like he's almost afraid to hope for a third date. Er… meeting. Shit. It's starting to feel more and more like dating. Olivia bites her lip and her brain is telling her to just say she's busy and be done with it. But she's been looking forward to hearing from Trevor and she's thought about what it would be like to walk along the Hudson with him. It's appealing and she scrunches up her nose before telling him honestly that she is, in fact, free.

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"Awesome," she hears Trevor say, and she can hear a mixture of relief and excitement in his voice.

The excitement is a little contagious and Olivia chuckles while starting her car.

"You're in the city?" Trevor asks, hearing the engine.

"Yeah. I was going to go home and grab some lunch."

"Or we could meet up and have lunch together."

He must be feeling bold again because the confident counselor is back, catching her off guard once more.

"It'll be fun," Trevor urges. "I know the perfect place near the harbor. It even has a pretty name."

Olivia rolls her eyes, knowing she's got to know the name of the place now.

"Alright. Tell me what it's called."

"Olive's."

She can't help smiling then and lets him talk her into picking up lunch there.

"It's lunches to go but I'm sure we can find a nice spot to eat," Trevor assures her.

He sends directions to her phone and before she knows it, she's on her way to meet Trevor for lunch in her casual outfit. And what's worse, she doesn't even care about her attire. She knows she looks good in anything and if they are going for a long walk, stilettos and a skirt wouldn't do anyway. She shakes her head at herself as she drives from Casey's building to the North Cove Marina. She's glad she took the NYPD sedan home with her this weekend. It makes it just a bit easier to find a spot to park. She threw a warm short coat in the trunk before leaving home earlier and puts it on over her hoody before walking the last part towards the harbor, where Trevor said he'd be waiting for her.

…

She is relaxed around him and Trevor has to tell himself not to stare at her. He hadn't actually expected her to accept his invitation but here they are, again. They both chose the Olive's egg sandwich with spinach, blue cheese and bacon, minus the bacon for Olivia, and got one fruit salad to share between them. Now they are sitting on a stone bench, looking out over the water while eating their lunch. Olivia points at a few boats on the water that she likes, and he laughs at her expensive taste.

"Hey, I'm not saying I'd buy it. I just like it," she defends, and Trevor assures her that it's perfectly okay to appreciate a nice boat, and even imagine owning it.

She stares at him for a few moments and he wonders if he's said anything wrong. She looks away and the moment passes. He watches her hair move in the gentle breeze coming off the water and can imagine running his fingers through it, just to feel how soft it must be. His own words echo in his mind and he can suddenly hear the analogy in them. It's perfectly okay to appreciate a beautiful woman, and even imagine touching her. He swallows hard, wondering if that was why she just stared at him but he tries to shake it off. No need to get paranoid. Why on earth would her mind take her there after such an innocent remark?

Once they finish up and get up to toss their wrappings in the trash, Olivia looks up at him.

"Which way?"

He's a man with a plan and he tells her that he'd like to walk in the direction of the ferry terminal.

"You want to go on the ferry?" Olivia asks?

"No," he says, giving her his widest smile. "Just in that direction. "

He can tell that she's both intrigued and a little annoyed that he won't simply tell her what he has in mind, but she lets it go and they start walking along the river. He decides to tell her part of the reason why he is choosing to walk up north though, and explains,

"I just like the green of the parks that way. There's a lot more concrete down the other way."

"Oh, okay."

Olivia tucks her hands in her coat pockets and Trevor does the same as they walk side by side. The sun finally shows itself and it's instantly a little warmer. They walk briskly and soon, the cold is forgotten. They pass the ferry terminal and continue walking along the river, enjoying the view and some light conversation about the area. Trevor knows a few things about the history of the city and Olivia seems interested in what he has to say. It's nice to feel appreciated and he feels a bit bubbly inside. After taking a sharp turn they walk on towards and past pier 25 and Trevor glances at the restaurant at the end of the pier. If all goes well, he'd like to take Olivia out to dinner there some time. But today, he wants to take her to another place on another pier. It's almost 2 PM now and he hopes Olivia won't want to head back too soon.

There is a small smile playing on her lips as she looks out over the water, and he can't help thinking she looks content. It's good to see her outside of work, it's like she's a different person. He can only hope she feels the same way about seeing him outside of work, and he wonders if she'll be different now if he were to come into her squad room for a case.

He asks about Carrie's case to test the waters, and he's pleasantly surprised when she gives him a simple update without hesitation.

"You're not worried I'm going to talk to Justin and possibly have him damage your case?" he asks her and Olivia looks up at him with a slight frown.

"Why would you do that?"

Trevor looks past her, gazing at the water while trying to come up with a clever answer. The truth is, he doesn't have a comeback. He is so used to being at the opposite side of cases that he almost expects her to not want him involved in any way. And so he decides to go with the simple truth.

"I just figured you'd see me as the enemy here. Old habits, I guess."

Olivia looks away and for a few moments he thinks she's not going to respond. But then she looks at him again and tells him sincerely,

"Maybe I'm deciding you're not so bad."

He can't help grinning from ear to ear and rubs the back of his neck with his right hand. Olivia surprises him even more when she suddenly loops her arm through his left arm and walks closer to him.

"I'm glad you feel that way, Olivia," he says, quickly finding his voice again. "Because I'm really enjoying spending time with you."

She just smiles then but her gesture speaks volumes. He squeezes his arm a little closer to his body, trapping her arm in the process, and she looks up at him briefly, still smiling, before she looks ahead again. They are approaching another landmark, the Holland tunnel.

…

Olivia doesn't know why she decided to lock arms with Trevor. Or maybe she does but she isn't willing to admit it to herself. He's cute when she flirts with him and he'd qualify as a fling, most definitely. She tries not to think about it possibly becoming more than that but she can't deny that it feels good to be closer to him. She has no idea how far they will walk, but right now she doesn't care. She's off duty, Casey is resting at home, it's Sunday and there is no rush to get anywhere. She feels lighter than usual and realizes once again how good it is to get away from all the darkness they deal with on the job. Maybe that's what Elliot keeps looking for in his family. Maybe that's why he can't let go of his marriage. It would mean there is no escape left. She should ask him about that sometime.

Right now, she focuses on her companion. He looks good in casual clothes. He's in jeans like she is, walks in sturdy hiking boots and wears a sweater underneath his black leather coat. He's so tall and somehow, it makes her feel safe to walk with him. It's a startling realization. She's never felt safe with anyone aside from Elliot. Even when she's on a date, she feels that she needs to be on guard all the time, ready to draw her gun and protect both herself and her date. Not that she brings her gun to dates, but it's that always-on-the-job feeling she has. And now she doesn't have it. She just feels like … herself. Whoever that is. She sighs and looks out across the river. She won't need to look where she's going as long as she hangs on to Trevor. He won't lead her astray. She shakes her head almost imperceptibly at her own thoughts. Is she still thinking of that same defense attorney who has gotten criminals off more times than she cares to remember? What is happening to her?

"Everything okay?" she hears his gentle voice ask her as he studies her profile. He stops walking, as if he senses that something is up. Or maybe it's the panic-stricken look in her brown eyes as she gazes up into his blues.

"Liv?" he asks again, releasing her arm and turning her towards him by tugging at her shoulders gently. "What's wrong?"

...

 **Sorry to stop here. I just wanted to get this chapter out there to keep the story moving. Olivia will probably shrug it off and act unaffected, but she will have something to think about :) and so will Trevor. Meanwhile I love getting reviews. Speculations are fun to get too!**


	12. Blush

**So, I had to change a real life detail because all the places I wanted them to go are either closed in March or not open before a certain time … I am a detail freak but I can't let them change direction now so here we are. Hopefully you'll concentrate on the budding romance with me, and not whether the opening hours are correct.**

 **On with the story, with Olivia currently caught like a deer in headlights.**

...

 **12\. Blush**

 _"Everything okay?" she hears his gentle voice ask her as he studies her profile. He stops walking, as if he senses that something is up. Or maybe it's the panic-stricken look in her brown eyes as she gazes up into his blues._

 _"Liv?" he asks again, releasing her arm and turning her towards him by tugging at her shoulders gently. "What's wrong?"_

…

Trevor can see the blinds closing, and it is as painful to see as it is obvious to him. He can't fathom why she suddenly looked like she wanted to bolt but she is quickly retreating back into her shell and smiles at him. He knows it isn't a real smile but he decides not to call her on it. He prides himself in being able to read people, but so far, part of Olivia still remains a mystery to him. However, he knows she needs her space now. He can't prod her or she will retreat even further, so he buys her excuse even if he knows it's a lie when she tells him,

"Oh, I just realized I forgot something. Cases are always on my mind you know."

Trevor straightens his back and lets go of her shoulders, looking away across the Hudson when he asks her,

"Do you need to call someone? So you can let it go and enjoy your afternoon?"

Olivia shakes her head and smiles again, relaxing visibly now that he's letting her off the hook.

"No. No, I can do it later. We're not going to walk all day, are we?"

Trevor had been able to move his one o'clock meeting to five instead, and nods.

"True. I actually have to be somewhere at five so …"

"Oh."

He feels another twinge of hope when he clearly hears disappointment in her voice.

"Yeah. As partner, I can't always plan my own hours. I'm sorry, Olivia."

He has successfully diverted their attention from her to him, giving her as much space as she needs and she smiles reassuringly at him as they start walking again. She doesn't hold his arm this time, but he counts it as a win that they are back on track.

"It's okay. Let's just walk and enjoy the view while the sun is out."

"Deal," he says with a grin.

Their destination is just under 2.5 miles from the marina where they had started out, and since they both enjoy walking at a brisk pace, he estimates they will easily reach it within forty-five minutes. They will need to walk back too, after all, and afterwards he will need to change quickly before heading over to his client. He always has an extra suit pressed and ready at his office, so he will go there so he can just cross the street to the office building where his client will be.

They turn right, away from the river when they reach pier 57 at 2.30 PM and Olivia glances up at him when he points at a crossing that will take them into West 15th street.

"That way?" she questions, and he nods.

"If you don't mind."

…

Olivia is relieved that Trevor hasn't tried to get her to talk about what was on her mind earlier. So far, she can't really find anything wrong with Trevor Langan, when she forgets her distaste of part of his job for a moment. And that is as interesting as it is frightening.

She's enjoyed their walk and doesn't mind a short break, since they will have to walk back in a while to get back to their cars.

Trevor puts a hand on her lower back as he guides her into the restaurant of his choice, and despite her winter coat, she is very much aware of his touch. The smell of delicious, spicy food fills her nostrils and she shivers unconsciously, only now realizing that it's really chilly outside.

"It's warm inside," Trevor says softly and she has to admit that his kind, low voice is growing on her.

There are hardly any other guests there yet, since the tapas restaurant has only just opened, and the friendly staff are very happy to seat them at a small table for two at the window. It's way too early for dinner but Olivia could go for a small, warm bite to eat by now.

"It takes at least 30 minutes for them to prepare some tapas for two," Trevor informs her as they look at the menu together. "So I just thought we'd have a warm drink and a few small bites before we head back."

"You're a mindreader," Olivia says with a smile, leaning back in her seat. "And since you seem to be such an expert, you choose something for both of us."

She doesn't need to tell him twice and studies him as he reads the menu meticulously, and when their waiter returns, his eyes sparkle when he orders a few small portions of assorted Spanish tapas and a cup of tea for both of them.

She raises an eyebrow when their waiter leaves and he flashes his charming smile at her.

"It's too early for wine, and coffee or hot cocoa would just ruin the taste," he explains.

"Tea it is," she says cheerfully.

It strikes her once again how easy it is for her to relax with Trevor, and just let herself be drawn into his world. She's never had a weekend that seemed this long before. She knows it is her own doing. She enjoys being needed so she doesn't mind being on call at all hours. And when she's really off duty, she just does some chores around the house and relaxes in her own apartment. She hasn't really missed going out and doing different things, but now that she's here, she realizes it's good for her. It's good to take her mind off the cases, the death, the trauma, the tears and the blood. It doesn't mean she cares less, she tells herself. But being away feels like recharging and it will make her a better cop and a stronger shoulder to cry on during the week.

When Trevor looks at her and their gazes lock, she finds it difficult to look away. She can imagine kissing him and she blinks a few times at the thought. She wants to tell herself it's because she hasn't been kissed properly in a while but she knows that's not it. There is something about him that is captivating and she should know by now what that means. She is not just starting to like him as a friend, and she's afraid Trevor is reading her mind once more when a soft smile appears on his lips. He does have nice lips, she thinks and she finally averts her eyes, before she'll do something stupid like start to blush. Just thinking about blushing seems to trigger that particular physical reaction after all and she hears Trevor take a deep breath. She knows he isn't going to comment. He's not like that. John Munch would have a field day with his flustered co-worker but Trevor just goes out of his way to make her feel comfortable, and he does it almost effortlessly.

…

She's blushing.

He has to admit that his thoughts were wandering when they looked into each others' eyes. But somehow, he hadn't expected hers to wander too. There is something growing between them and as much as he's told himself that friendship would be an awesome start, he knows he wants more. To see something similar in Olivia is incredible and he takes a deep breath to keep himself calm.

Their waiter returns with their tea on cue and they both busy themselves, reaching for the sugar simultaneously. Her fingers brush his and he chuckles. Her cheeks turn an even deeper shade of pink and he knows he has to tread carefully now. Plan his next move to make sure they don't become uncomfortable with each other.

"Ladies first," he said, opening his palm and gesturing at her.

Olivia keeps her eyes fixed on the sugar dispenser and grabs it, quickly shaking a little sugar into her tea cup. He makes sure she has enough before picking the dispenser up himself and adding a bit of sugar to his own tea while making a mental note that they are taking their tea in exactly the same way.

Trevor decides to make some small talk and asks her what she will do after they return to the marina, since he will have to work later. Olivia relaxes again and tells him about groceries and laundry, and within a few minutes they are smiling and chatting again.

Their tapas arrive and he watches as Olivia takes in the assortment of small bowls that are placed on the table between them. They both taste all of the small bites and once they roll out of Toro again, they are all warmed up and ready for the stroll back.

The sun has disappeared behind the clouds again and they make sure to keep moving so they won't get cold again. By the time they reach Olivia's sedan, it's 6.15 and she wonders out loud if he'll make it in time for his appointment.

"Absolutely," he assures her. "I'll have time to spare. It's not far from here."

Olivia grins and looks at him up and down.

"You're meeting a client dressed like this?"

Trevor grins too and explains that he has a change of clothes in his office. Olivia's eyes flick up and down again and he can't help wondering if she's thinking about him changing out of his clothes. He wants to say something but decides it's too soon. Olivia catches him completely off guard when she says,

"Undressing at the office, counselor? Interesting."

Is she flirting with him? He _has_ to use that to his advantage. Time for a bold move. He has to think fast.

"You don't know the half of it," he says huskily, wiggling his eyebrows, and to his delight, Olivia bursts out laughing.

"Your secretary must be thrilled," she chokes out, still chuckling.

Trevor manages the perfect poker face when he answers her seriously,

"I don't know. You should ask him."

Olivia covers her hand with her mouth and he can see a devilish gleam in her eyes. But he sees her reconsider instantly and deciding not to say what was on her mind. Instead, she says with a grin,

"Maybe I will."

"You are always welcome at our offices, Liv," Trevor responds immediately, and her grin turns into a softer smile.

"I mean it," he adds, also softer, and Olivia looks down at the ground between them.

She's leaning up against her car and he steps closer to her.

"I had a lovely afternoon with you," he says. "I could really get used to hanging out with you."

Olivia nods and bites her lip before glancing up at him.

"Well, I'll probably see you Wednesday at the trial, right?" she says.

"Right. The trial. Of course."

He reaches up a hand and she blinks when he caresses her right cheek with the backs of his fingers.

"Well, I will see you at the trial then," he repeats, and Olivia nods again, seemingly at a loss for words.

Her skin is amazingly soft and he wishes he could touch her some more, but that would be a little weird so he retracts his hand. Olivia follows his hand with her eyes, and while she's distracted, he leans in quickly and gives her a small peck on the left cheek.

If she is a little shocked, she recuperates amazingly quickly, because she gives him a soft smile when he looks into her eyes again.

"Thank you for today," she says quietly.

"We should do this again some time," he chances.

Olivia nods once more and then turns around to open the door of her car. Before she gets in, he hears her say,

"Yes, we should."

…

 **Can I get an Aww? They won't stay this sweet, I promise. But it's going well, isn't it?**


	13. Trial date

**Underlined print are exact quotes from the show as always in my stories. This is a filler chapter that is needed to move the case along so I can finally write one of the key scenes of this story. I have already started writing chapter 14 so please bear with me here.**

...

 **13\. Trial date**

Olivia tries not to think about her weekend too much once she gets back to work. She has a job to do and can't be distracted by thoughts of a certain tall and handsome lawyer, his bright blue eyes and beautiful smile … She shakes her head and frowns, trying to focus on the case at hand, searching several databases on her computer for more on the Duvall family.

"You okay?" her partner asks, and her reply is automatic, almost robotic.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

Elliot just nods and says nothing but she can hear him thinking. He knows when she's preoccupied and she really needs to focus on their cases.

"I hear Cragen's sending Casey over to Nina's house?" she asks Elliot, who nods again.

"Yeah. He thinks she'll get through to her when Nina sees what her brother did to her. If he can't stop Novak, why should he be able to stop her?"

"Good thinking," Olivia agrees.

"So are we all set for Carrie's trial? You think Novak can pull it off with that concussion?"

Olivia shrugs.

"Casey's good. But Huang seems convinced that PMDD is a real thing and that Carrie meets the criteria."

"What are those criteria exactly?" Elliot asks.

"I'll check," Olivia says. "You wanna take another crack at the Duvalls' finances?"

They both focus on their computer screens again and Olivia manages to get Trevor out of her thoughts for a while.

When she wakes up on Wednesday morning, those thoughts are back and she can't help feeling a little nervous at the prospect of seeing Trevor at the courthouse later. She knows he'll be accompanying Justin, although he doesn't have to. Justin is just a witness in Carrie Eldridge's case. But like Trevor had said, he cares. She can actually see that now, after spending more time with him. He isn't a completely heartless person who is only interested in making money. Olivia finds her thoughts drifting to Trevor several times while she completes her morning ritual but tries to ignore the butterflies in her stomach when she gathers her things to go to work. It's just another work day, just another case, she tells herself.

Before she even arrives at the 1-6, her phone rings and her good mood comes crashing down when Casey informs her that she's been taken off Nina's rape case. Duvall's attorney is calling her as a witness for the defense.

"Defense lawyers," Olivia huffs and Casey agrees with her wholeheartedly.

The ADA should now be able to focus solely on Carrie's case but both women find this turn of events very disturbing. They meet up half an hour before the trial is about to start and Olivia helps Casey cover up what's left of the bruise on her jaw, so she will look flawless in court.

…

He spots her right away sitting in the second row from the back, a very serious look on her face. Trevor scoots into the back row behind Olivia. He doesn't want to distract her from what is being said, and Justin is just being sworn in. He gives his testimony, guided by Simone Bryce's questions and then Casey Novak is up. When she asks him point blank if Carrie told him she'd killed her mother, he refuses to say anything.

"Your Honor?" Casey says, looking at the judge.

"Answer the question, Mr. Sharp," judge Petrovsky urges Justin.

"I don't want to."

"You don't have that option," the judge tells him. "Answer or you'll be in contempt of court."

After a brief pause the young man says what Trevor already knew he was going to say.

"Fine."

Justin looks at Carrie then, who is now crying, and tells her,

"I'll never say anything to hurt you."

The judge orders him to step down, since he is officially in contempt, and Trevor knows that's his cue to join Justin in lockup. There will be no time to chat with Olivia today.

Justin tells Carrie once more as he's taken away,

"I love you, no matter what."

…

Olivia doesn't notice Trevor until she sees him hurry after Justin. She sighs. She can see the love between these two young people clear as day, but that still doesn't excuse murder. She can also see that Trevor will be busy for a while. The judge adjourns for the day and she leaves the courthouse. It's still chilly outside and she puts on her bonnet and gloves as she exits the building when she spots Melinda Warner coming out of the courthouse as well.

"Hey. You on a case?" she asks the ME.

"Eldridge. Defense is recalling us. They must be desperate."

"They are," Olivia confirms. "Carrie's going down."

"So now they want to dirty up her mother. Portray her as a drunk."

"What?" Olivia gasps.

A drunk? Melinda starts to walk away but Olivia grabs her arm.

"Wait! Was she?"

Olivia feels her heart rate pick up. She knew there was something about Denise Eldridge but she hasn't been able to put her finger on it. Until now.

"Her blood alcohol level was normal when she died, but Denise Eldridge had advanced cirrhosis," Melinda tells her. "Another two years, it would've killed her."

"Are you sure it's from the drinking?" Olivia asks.

She needs to know.

"I didn't find any hepatitis antibodies, so it has to be the booze."

Olivia feels deflated. If this is true, all the pieces will suddenly fall into place but she needs to be sure. And so she heads over to Denise's apartment.

By the time Elliot joins her, she has already collected dozens of bottles of alcoholic drinks from all over the apartment, hidden in all the places she knows from experience alcoholics hide their stash. In the hamper, under the pillows of the sofa, behind a few shoe boxes in the closet, in the oven, in a hanging lamp. She even finds a collection of small bottles in the woman's underwear drawer and at least a dozen empty bottles underneath the bed. It is all way too familiar and she can hardly believe she didn't pick up on it sooner. She collects all the bottles and places them on the kitchen counter.

Elliot enters quietly, knocking to make sure he doesn't startle her. Her partner knows what she's going through. He is one of the very few who know about her past and her mother's drinking problem. Olivia smiles at him wryly.

"No wonder I hated Denise so much," she says. "All along, Carrie was just trying to get me to protect her. Look at this," she adds, gesturing at the collection of bottles and pulling yet another one out of the bread box. "Denise didn't care about her daughter. All she cared about was where she was gonna get her next drink."

Her throat feels constricted and she looks down, leaning against the counter with all the booze on it and shakes her head.

"Why'd you come here?" Elliot asks, standing behind her without crowding her.

"To find out what else I was wrong about."

Elliot starts helping her look for more bottles or other clues they may have missed the first time the apartment was combed through. She's glad he doesn't try to get her to talk. They have this understanding and she feels safe with Elliot. He knows her. He knows about her past and her struggles with being the product of a rape and the daughter of an alcoholic and abusive mother. She knows about his past and his struggles with his parents, his abusive father who cheated on his bipolar mother and took his anger and frustration about his life out on his son. They operate as a team because they understand each other so well and because they have the same drive to help people like themselves. People who were innocent and yet became the targets of undeserved violence.

Elliot checks out the cabinets beneath the sink and notices that the pots and pans that are in there haven't been used in so long, that they have cobwebs on them.

"Sounds like the ones in my kitchen," Olivia says, trying to lighten the mood a little.

She goes into the living room to look in the cabinets there.

"Hey, check this out. I found it underneath the cabinet," Elliot calls out to her.

Olivia walks up to her partner and he tosses her a blue box. "Birth control pills."

Olivia reads the label and opens the box. She frowns.

"Prescribed to Carrie by the Free Clinic. Carrie was on day six of her period."

"Her period? So much for their PMS defense," Elliot says pensively.

"Exactly. We need to confront Carrie."

...

Trevor is very surprised about the phone call he's just received. Justin is being released from prison and his parents are en route to pick him up. Carrie's trial is over because she is going to plead out. He doesn't understand because as far as he knows, the trial could have gone either way. He decides to call Olivia to ask her what's going on because he is fairly certain she will know. And since the trial is over, he doesn't see an issue with her sharing information with him.

She answers on the third ring and he can hear that she isn't alone. He can hear music and talking in the background. When she greets him with a simple 'hey', the dejected sound of her voice makes him sit up.

"Hi Olivia, are you alright?" he asks straight away.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Olivia asks, but the heaviness in her tone hasn't lifted.

"You sound … different," he settles on, for lack of a better word.

He hears the sound of glass hitting glass and asks her if she's in the city.

"I am actually," Olivia admits, and he thinks he hears a hint of a smile this time. Or maybe he just wants to hear it.

"Need some company?" he asks. "I'm sorry we missed each other at the courthouse."

Olivia is silent for a moment, and he can't help wondering if she really is okay.

"Liv?" he asks her tentatively, and he hears her sigh then.

She is definitely not herself tonight. Just when he thinks she isn't going to tell him anything, she says,

"I'm at Pete's Tavern. Look for the lonely drinker at the bar."

He stands up at once and tells Olivia,

"I'm on my way."

Trevor takes a cab to Pete's, which is only two miles down Park Avenue from his apartment near Central Park. He spots Olivia immediately, sitting at the bar with a large beer and a shot glass next to it. She seems deep in thought but manages a smile when he sits down on the stool next to her.

"What's up Olivia?" Trevor asks, diving straight in.

This is no time for smalltalk, that much is obvious to him.

Olivia makes a dismissive gesture with her hand before picking up her beer.

"This case … it's hitting a little close to home I guess."

She takes a long draw of her beer and when the bartender pops up, he tells him he'll have whatever his companion is having. A beer and a shot are placed in front of him and he smiles at the bartender before focusing on Olivia again.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asks and he feels the urge to touch her back and rub it, although he has no idea what's bothering her so much. He doesn't do it, of course.

Olivia sets her glass down and leans her elbows on the bar, glancing at him. He can actually see her asking herself if she wants to talk and then decide that, in fact, she does.

…

 **I am taking the entire conversation Olivia had with Casey on the show, and she will tell Trevor about her past instead. Stay tuned for that very personal conversation! Any thoughts beforehand? Will Olivia let Trevor in or will her shields remain up?**


	14. Trust

**Alright, here we go …**

…

 **14\. Trust**

Olivia feels a little out of control but she is still glad Trevor is there. Starting to drink alone hasn't been her best idea, least of all under the circumstances. She isn't drunk or anything, but she can already feel the effects of the few shots she's had with her beer.

"PMS didn't make Carrie kill her mother," she starts and she purses her lips when she swallows hard. How much will she be willing to tell Trevor?

"How do you know?" he asks her simply.

"We found her birth control pills. She was on day six of her period when she killed Denise. In the middle of the one week when women suffering from this premenstrual disorder don't have any symptoms at all."

"So you could have easily won the case."

She can hear the surprise is his voice and she understands. How can she explain to him that she didn't want to win anymore once she had all the facts? That she can't possibly condemn Carrie now that she knows the whole story? That it could have been her all those years ago ...

Carrie's words still echo inside her head.

 _I loved my mom very much, but when she was drunk she wasn't my mother._

She nods slowly and looks down at her drink.

"Yeah."

"Tell me what changed."

His voice is kind and warm and she feels herself wanting to tell him. Wanting to confide in him because she wants him to understand. To know about her. To know her.

"Carrie's mom was an alcoholic," she starts, "just like mine."

The last three words are barely more than a whisper but Trevor senses the depth of the world behind them. It's personal for Olivia and he can feel her tense up, even without touching her in any way.

"She refused to talk about it because she was ashamed," Olivia continues, blinking back unexpected tears. "That's why they came up with that PMS defense. But after we found her birth control pills … well, Elliot did ... and things didn't add up, I confronted her and then it all came out at last."

Trevor finally puts his right hand on Olivia's lower back, his need to support her overruling his hesitation and his worry that he may be overstepping.

Feeling his hand on her back actually helps Olivia to continue, as if he is preventing her from falling into the abyss of her dark memories.

"Her mother had told her she'd do anything to break her and Justin up, even get him fired from his job. And then she picked up a bottle and started drinking."

Olivia picks up her glass again and drinks the rest of her beer, and Trevor rubs her lower back gently with his thumb, waiting for her to continue talking.

"Carrie told her she'd always be with Justin and that she'd rather be homeless than to live with her any longer. Denise snapped and slapped her."

Olivia bites her lip and frowns and Trevor can't help wondering if the fierce detective has had similar experiences with her own mother. He guesses she has, and his heart goes out to her.

Olivia takes a deep breath and tells him,

"She just continued hitting her daughter, until Carrie finally lost it and hit back. With the lamp."

Olivia signals the bartender for a refill and Trevor retracts his hand to pick up his own beer and take a few sips. He knows she isn't done yet and waits for Olivia to continue.

Olivia takes another deep breath. Here comes the hard part of the story. The reason this case is hitting too close to home for her.

"My mother was an English professor. When I was 16, I started dating one of her students. He was a senior. He was 21 years old."

She gives him a faint smile, and he remembers their first discussion about this case, about puppy love. Looks like she has her own puppy love story to tell after all.

"And he asked me to marry him."

He knows there's more to come but he can't help reacting a little bit shocked. Olivia gives him another half-smile and continues.

"I said yes because I wanted to get away from my mother."

Trevor nods. He can see the parallel with Carrie.

"She found out, and she told me that if I didn't stop seeing him, that she would have him kicked out of college. And I told her that I was moving out."

"Just like Carrie," Trevor says softly and Olivia nods.

He puts his hand on her lower back again and Olivia welcomes the contact. But she isn't finished yet.

"She was halfway through a bottle of vodka, and she dropped it. It shattered all over the floor. And then she picked up the jagged edge of the bottle …"

Olivia's chin trembles and Trevor moves his hand up her back and sits closer to her. Olivia takes a ragged breath and keeps talking, despite the tears that are forming at the memory.

"And she came at me ... screaming … _I'll never let anyone else have you._ "

Trevor leans closer to her and moves his hand to her right shoulder, so his arm is almost around her.

"And so I kicked her hard," Olivia says, closing her eyes briefly at the memory. "And then I kicked her again. And she went flying across the room into the wall, and she slid down to the floor."

Trevor feels relief at her words, knowing that Olivia got away safely. It's irrational because she's right there with him but he can feel her emotions as if he's right there with her in those moments. Olivia takes a deep breath and Trevor gives her a little more space, but he doesn't move his hand away from her shoulder.

"I'd never hurt her before," Olivia says, looking at him. "I ran out. I was so afraid."

"You didn't kill your mother, Olivia," he says quietly, needing to point out the big different between her and Carrie. Her brown eyes are filled with sadness when she answers,

"I know what it's like to want to."

He holds her gaze for a long moment and she can tell he's processing what she's just told him. She had wanted to kill her own mother. If that doesn't scare him off, she doesn't know what will. She's a woman with issues and he shouldn't really bother with her at all. But his hand stays on her shoulder and his thumb caresses her gently through her maroon blouse. And then he tells her, with sincerity in his voice,

"I'm so sorry for what you've had to endure."

Olivia looks down at the bar and picks up her beer again. It's becoming her way of giving her hands something to do while collecting her thoughts. Maybe if she just keeps talking, the anvil pressing down on her chest will go away.

"That's how I know Simone Bryce," she tells Trevor. "I called her back then. She was a law student. And she helped me survive it."

"Survive it? You mean you went back after that and just stayed with your mother?"

He's genuinely surprised and a little in awe of her.

"I was sixteen," she reminds him. "Where was I gonna go? My fiancé dropped me at once after he heard he was going to be kicked out of school."

"Why didn't you go to the police? Why didn't you say something? Or Carrie for that matter?"

The sadness in her eyes strikes him deeply when she looks at him, and her lips quiver when she tells him,

"Because then the abuse becomes real. If you keep quiet ... you can pretend that it's not."

Trevor pulls her close to him then, and she lets him. His right hand that was on her shoulder travels back down her back until he can wrap it around her waist, and he places his other arm in front of hers on the bar. He knows Olivia is extremely vulnerable right now and when she leans into him slightly him and rests her head against his shoulder, he knows he needs to be very careful. She's emotional, which she isn't very often, and she has been drinking. And while touching her affects him in a lot of ways, he knows now is not the time to think about himself. He's glad he decided to come to her and can't help wondering briefly if she would have fallen into another man's arms if he hadn't. She doesn't strike him as a hit-and-run type of woman, but on the other hand, she isn't someone who opens up easily.

He doesn't want to make a wrong move now because it will surely backfire on him. He feels Olivia look up at him and he looks down at her. Their faces are close and he moves his left hand to her cheek automatically. Their gazes lock and he can see so many emotions in her eyes ... there are too many. No matter how badly he might want to, this isn't the time to kiss her. He moves his thumb, caressing her cheek gently and he can see he is affecting her. He has to look away before he does something stupid, and he manages to shift his gaze to some undefined point behind Olivia. He hears her breathe out and he moves his hand away from her face, placing it back on the bar. He feels she's resting her head against his shoulder again but he can't relax yet, because she's taken a hold of his hand. They sit like that for a long minute. When he feels her stir, Trevor finally dares to look at her again, and Olivia sits up, giving him a small smile.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

"Don't be," he responds immediately. "I'm just glad I can be here for you."

Olivia picks up her shot at last and looks at him until he does the same.

"What are we drinking to?" he asks, curious to know how Olivia will process what has just happened with her and between them.

She shrugs and doesn't look at him when she asks,

"What would you like to drink to?"

Think fast, he tells himself. What's the best move to make at this point? She needs a friend right now, not a love-sick puppy. And he's rather impressed with how much of herself she's entrusted him with tonight. So what would he like to drink to?

"To trust," he decides. "The cornerstone of any friendship."

Olivia swallows and her dark eyes bore into his. He almost holds his breath while waiting for her reaction. He breathes out slowly when she nods, and holds up her shot.

"To trust."

They both down the shot in one go and he winces at the strong taste of the stuff. Olivia seems completely unaffected and he can't help wondering how big of a drinker she is. He can't imagine the daughter of an alcoholic turning to the bottle herself, but he's seen too much to be able to deny that it happens. He wonders what she'll say if he suggests calling it a night. Will she want to stay and drink some more? Or will she agree that she should get some rest instead?

…

Olivia is a little surprised at how her evening is turning out. For one, she had never expected to pour her heart out with Trevor like that. And she definitely hadn't expected him to be so … so sweet to her. It's the only word she can think of. Sure, they have become friendly after meeting up a few times, but her past might have just scared him off. They haven't gotten close enough yet that it would be awkward if he decided to bow out gracefully now.

But he isn't bowing out. Instead, he is moving closer to her and that means something to her. Trevor has just held her and he isn't being weird about it. And he also hasn't tried to take advantage of her weak moment. He is being a friend first.  
But that has never worked well with her. She is used to clamming up and keeping her own issues to herself, even with Elliot most of the time, and he is definitely a friend. She knows it's one of the reasons her attempts at having relationships always fail, but so far, she hasn't been able to break the pattern. Well ... until now. Carrie's story has made her relive one of the most traumatic experiences of her life and she feels vulnerable. Having Trevor's arm around her made her feel safe and helped her shake off the dark memories, and that is completely new. Wasn't she thinking something along the same lines when they were out walking last Sunday? That he wouldn't lead her astray?

She knows he wanted to kiss her earlier and both the fact that he didn't and that she felt a little disappointed, means something. It means a lot. She already misses his touch and before she can change her mind, she places her hand over his on the bar again. She registers the surprise in his eyes and smiles.

"Thank you, Trevor," she says, and she means it.

The bartender passes them again and motions at their glasses, but Trevor gestures that they're fine and don't need another beer or shot. But Olivia doesn't want their evening to end just yet and she tries to think of a way to prolong it.

"You're not staying?" she asks him, and she hates how insecure she sounds.

"Maybe we should both call it a night," Trevor says, watching her intently for a reaction.

"Maybe you're right," she says.

She slides off her stool to stand next to Trevor, wondering what his next move will be. For once, she doesn't have a one herself. She is still a little off her game, and the way things are developing between her and Trevor - a defense attorney for God's sake! - are making her not only indecisive, but curious. She wants to know what _his_ game plan is.

Trevor stands up, towering even higher above her, and grasps her upper arms lightly.

"You should get some rest. It's been a hell of a day for you," he says seriously, and Olivia nods, looking down. He isn't going to make a move now. He really isn't like anyone she's dated before.

"Let me take you home. You know … make sure you get there safely?"

Her head whips up and she stares at the man in front of her. He _is_ taking her home?

"You're such a gentleman," she manages to say and she's amazed that she's managed to make it sound frivolous in stead of nervous, which is definitely what she's feeling.

She has never met a man before who can make her feel comfortable and nervous at the same time. Comfortable to open up, yet nervous about what will be next. It's all brand new territory for her.

"Always," Trevor says seriously, but then he smiles at her and she smiles up at him.

"Alright then, Mr Gentleman. Take me home."

They both chuckle and after Olivia pays for their drinks, insisting that she finally pay for something, they go outside to hail a cab together.

…

 **So there we have Olivia's story, told to Trevor instead of Casey. This evening will continue in the next chapter. Are we all liking my version of Trevor Langan so far? Will he always be this gentlemanly and do we want him to?**


	15. Falling

**15\. Falling**

They sit in the cab, both silent, and Olivia glances at her handsome companion a few times. He seems to be deep in thought, but when he sees her watching him, he smiles. It's a real smile. It's warm and inviting and accepting. She wonders why she's never noticed it before. Or maybe he hasn't smiled at her like this before. They aren't exactly friendly to each other when they run into each other on a case. It's like there are two sides to the tall attorney. He can be all business and completely emotionless at times. But right now he is totally different. Human, she thinks. He feels so much closer now, maybe even closer than Elliot because with her partner, there are all these unwritten agreements between them.

There are no agreements at all between her and Trevor. They can do whatever they want without causing anyone any harm. She finds herself drawn to that notion. The only ones who may get hurt here are she and Trevor themselves. There are no spouses, children or even co-workers to take into consideration. Just their jobs. That's the only setback and it's a huge one. Talk about a conflict of interests.

…

Olivia is fiddling with the zipper of her coat and Trevor wonders what she's thinking. He is still digesting everything she's told him tonight. She trusted him enough to tell him something very personal, and it has left both of them affected. It seems he is peeling more and more layers of Olivia's defenses away, and she is actually helping him do it. She isn't resisting.

He'd like to think it is the skillful way he is moving the chess pieces around the board, but he knows that he couldn't have gotten this far if Olivia had refused to cooperate. It gives him hope that the chemistry he felt between them at the bar wasn't just a fleeting moment. That there will be more moments when they are going to feel it, and that some day soon, they are going to act on it.

It's like there are two sides to the beautiful detective. She can be all business and completely focused on a case, determined to close it and help the survivor or the next of kin of the victim to start to heal. But right now she is vulnerable, a little nervous even, and very much human. And woman. Not that he's ever failed to notice her femininity, no matter how tough she acts.

Trevor reaches for her fiddling hands and covers them with his own large hand. Olivia looks up at him, almost a little shocked, but then she smiles and retracts one of her hands to place it on top of his. Trevor tells himself to keep breathing calmly. No need to rush things. Olivia may regret opening up to him in the morning and he doesn't want her to regret even more. If he wants a real shot at something lasting with her, he will have to be patient. It will be a small price to pay in the end, if it means she will be all his, and he won't be just a temporary outlet of some kind for her.

…

They arrive at her building and Olivia smiles at him.

"Are you coming up?"

"I'd love to."

She sees a hint of shock flash across his face and she wonders if he is worried that he is sounding too eager. She's glad he's answered as quickly as he has because she was nervous about asking him up. She has been drinking but she's clearheaded enough to realize what he may be expecting. She squeezes his hand before letting it go so they can both get out of the cab. Trevor pays the driver and then joins her on the sidewalk. They walk into the building together and Olivia heads for the stairs. She can't stand in an elevator with Trevor right now. Her heart is beating a little faster and she hopes she isn't making a mistake, inviting Trevor up. He's been a total gentleman so far but he _had_ wanted to kiss her at the bar. There was no way to miss that. She doesn't want to be alone just yet, after so many emotions about her past have resurfaced, and Trevor makes her feel good about herself. He is taking everything in stride and she finds herself longing for his comfort. Comfort sex is a thing, isn't it?

Just a few weeks ago, the thought of having sex with Trevor Langan would never have entered her mind. But something has shifted between them, and inside her. Sometimes she's so exhausted of doing everything alone and here is a nice and attentive man, offering her his company. She'd be a fool to refuse him.

Still, she's a little nervous. They are becoming good friends. Wouldn't they ruin that by having a fling? And does she really want it to be just a fling? The last question she asks herself catches her off guard. Does she want it to be a fling between friends with Trevor? Or does she think there could be more there?

They arrive at her door and Olivia quickly opens it to let Trevor into her apartment. She closes the door behind them and gestures at her coat rack.

"Take your coat of for a bit? You want something to drink?"

She sheds her own jacket and tosses it on the rack before hurrying into the kitchen.

"Sure," Trevor says, taking off his coat, and Olivia opens her fridge. She doesn't really keep much in it and there's just a can of orange juice and a few beers. And there's an opened bottle of wine on the kitchen counter.

"I have juice, beer and wine," she announces, chuckling at her inability to stock her apartment with actual food and drinks.

"Juice will be fine," Trevor replies.

She turns and stares at him, one eyebrow raised. Trevor shrugs and gives her a charming half-smile as he approaches her.

"I had enough alcohol at the bar for one night."

He wants to keep a clear head, she realizes, and she nods. Maybe he's right. She's had plenty to drink herself.

"Alright. I'll have some juice too."

Trevor hums appreciatively and Olivia looks at him again.

"Or do you think I have a drinking problem because my mom was an alcoholic?"

There's a sharp edge to her words and she knows she is still a little more emotional than usual.

"Never crossed my mind," Trevor says confidently and she can't help thinking he looks exactly like a lawyer right now. There is no way to tell if he's telling her the truth but he knows how to deliver a message.

Olivia purses her lips and nods, deciding to let it go. She doesn't want to argue with him right now. Juice it is. She pours them both a glass and carries the glasses to her coffee table, inviting Trevor to sit. He leaves about a foot of space between them on the couch. They both sip their drinks and Olivia tries to relax. There's something in the air and she feels unusually tense. She has been in this situation before and she's never had any issues turning on her charm to have her way with the man in question. Why would it be different this time? She just needs to snap out of it.

…

Trevor knows Olivia is on edge and it strengthens his resolve to hold back for now. This isn't the time to take things further with her. However, when Olivia turns to him and scoots closer, he wonders if he can stay strong. She puts a hand on his knee and rubs it gently.

"Thanks for being so nice to me, Trevor. You didn't have to bother meeting me. I really appreciate it that you did."

"Goes without saying," he says as dismissively as he can manage, but the look in her eyes is hard to dismiss.

This is a side of Olivia he has yet to get to know and he reminds himself to keep breathing normally. She may have seemed vulnerable and small earlier - and she was - but when she turns on the feminine charm, he realizes she can gain the upper hand in seconds. If he doesn't focus now, she'll have him check mate in just a few clever moves.

Her hand travels up his thigh and she cocks her head, leaning her elbow on the backrest of the couch and supporting her head with her hand. He has a feeling that this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Olivia's temptress side and he suddenly feels very warm. It's not that he doesn't want her, but wasn't he just telling himself that this isn't the time?

"Liv," he warns her but Olivia smiles lazily.

It's as if his reaction strengthens her. She's good at this game and he needs to make a counter move fast.

"Yes?" Olivia asks softly, leaning even closer to him until he can feel her breath on his cheek.

"Do you really think this is the time to …"

"Trevor," she interrupts him.

She raises the hand that had been caressing his thigh and moves it up to his cheek to turn his face towards her. Their noses are almost touching when she all but orders him,

"Just kiss me."

He caves then. He's just a man after all. He groans softly when her full lips brush against his and then he's kissing her. His arm is around her waist and he's pulling her against him, overwhelmed with the sweet taste of her lips and the feeling of her, touching him. Olivia's lips part and she kisses him more urgently and when his tongue slips between her lips and finds hers, she lets out a moan than shoots straight to his groin. Olivia's hand has traveled down from his cheek and she is squeezing his pecs through his shirt. Her other arm is behind him on the backrest of the couch and her fingers caress the back of his head. He moves his arm up from her waist and tangles his hand in her brown locks, kissing her more passionately while holding her to him. He wants to pull her into his lap but before he can move, she moves her leg over his legs and does it herself. They break off the kiss and they're both a little out of breath, but as soon as Olivia has positioned herself again, straddling him, she kisses him again. Trevor cups her perfect butt and they both groan when their bodies press together intimately.

…

Her body is screaming at her. It's been so long and she can feel Trevor's reaction to her pressing against her body, impossible to miss. They've been on three dates already, she reasons with herself, but it's difficult to keep thinking while kissing this Adonis. She closes her eyes and grinds into him, and the sounds he makes only add to her arousal. He's such a passionate kisser and she wants to rip his shirt and tie off his body to see and feel what's underneath. She starts tugging on his tie, loosening it while continuing to kiss him deeply but suddenly she feels a shift in Trevor. His hands wrap around her wrists and he eases out of the kiss. He doesn't end it abruptly but she feels him pulling back, nipping at her lower lip a few more times until she opens her eyes and looks down at him. He can't stop now, she thinks. Her body is reeling. Maybe he just wants to relocate. It's fine with her.

"What?" she whispers, looking into the eyes of the man who was kissing her passionately only seconds ago, but is now creating some distance between their upper bodies by pushing her hands away gently.

"Liv, I … I didn't come up with you tonight to … to sleep with you."

A feeling of dread comes over her but she tries to chase it away with a joke.

"We don't have to sleep."

Trevor doesn't smile and she frowns.

"Then why did you come up with me?"

Trevor lets go of her wrists and rubs her hips gently with both hands.

"It's not that I don't want to, believe me," he sighs, and she can tell he's serious. The way his body responds to hers has been telling her the same thing.

"I just … you've had a rough day and I … don't want us to rush into anything you're not ready for because you … because you're affected by … everything that has happened."

Olivia wants to yell at him that she's more than ready and that her body is begging her to jump him again, but his struggle to explain himself to her, and the genuine caring she can see in his eyes and hear in his words, makes her stop and think.

He doesn't want a fling. He doesn't want to give her comfort sex. He wants to do things right. She climbs out of his lap and stands up, needing more distance between them to think about what that means.

"Liv," Trevor says, and she turns around, standing in front of him.

The bulge in his pants is impressive and she licks her lips unconsciously. He stands up then and she steps back.

"Please don't feel rejected. I … I think it's pretty obvious that I want you."

She manages a small smile then, but her heart is pounding in her ears.

"I just don't want to take advantage of what may be a moment of weakness. I don't want you to hate me in the morning."

He's serious about her. He's _serious_ about her.

"Maybe I'll hate you for not staying," she manages to say.

Trevor moves close to her again and puts his hands on her upper arms. She looks up at him and her heart skips a beat when he leans in to kiss her again. She's putty in his hands now and she sighs when he kisses her softly. Respectfully. Lovingly.

"Somehow I don't think you will," he mumbles against her lips and she knows he's right.

If he leaves now, she will only want him more. Could that be his angle?

She looks into his eyes but she sees nothing but kindness in them. Caring. And love? Either she is falling for a very cunningly designed ploy, or he is basically telling her he is truly in love with her. If it had been any other man, she'd be ready to slap the guy for holding out on her. The fact that she's leaning against Trevor's chest now, wrapping her arms around his waist and closing her eyes, accepting that he is going to leave soon, tells her something that is as frightening as it is exhilarating. She is actually falling for him. She's not falling for a line. She's not falling for a body. She's falling for the man. Olivia Benson is falling for a defense attorney.

…

 **To be continued. Reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	16. Sleep

**16\. Sleep**

It had taken a lot of willpower to finally let go of Olivia and sit on the couch with her for a while. She'd snuggled up to him and Trevor had had to make an effort to keep his hands to himself. He'd done it though, and he's proud of himself. He couldn't leave right away after turning her down gently, and they had watched some mindless TV together until he'd been satisfied that Olivia was relaxed and no longer upset by the memories that had been triggered by Carrie's story. She'd actually nodded off on his shoulder for a while.

She had kissed him again at the door, a goodbye kiss, and he knows that there is a promise of more in the air. He hopes she will appreciate his restraint in the morning and to be honest, he isn't sure how long he will be able to resist her. He assumes that Olivia's natural defenses will come up again shortly, because if she keeps trying to tempt him, he is bound to give in sooner rather than later. But once he does, he doesn't want it to be just sex. He can only hope Olivia understands that and will want more as well.

He is sipping a drink, standing in front of the huge window of his living room, staring out over the city by night. There's a story behind every window he can see, but right now, he's interested in only one story behind one window. He can't see her window from his place but he can in his mind. He sends up a silent prayer that she will get some rest tonight, because the bad guys won't give her a break. She may be up before dawn to corner yet another one in interrogation, or to console a victim at the hospital while they're having a rape kit done. He admires her for always giving her all on the job and feels she's entitled to a breakdown every once in awhile. He hopes she will feel comfortable enough with him to have those breakdowns with him, and nobody else.

He thinks of her partner but shakes his head. Sure, they have a strong bond, but he doesn't believe Olivia would let herself go like that with Stabler. That she'd look for physical comfort from him. God, he hopes she doesn't! He doesn't know what he'll do if they turn out to have a friends-with-benefits arrangement after all. He can't very well ask her without offending her, so he will just have to trust his own gut when it comes to the married slash separated slash family man that Olivia spends most of her time with. No matter how self-righteous the man can be at times, Trevor doesn't think Stabler would be the kind of man to cheat on his wife or to treat Olivia like a mistress. He can only hope he's right about that.

Trevor sighs and finishes his drink. It's way past midnight and he should sleep. He wonders if he'll dream of Olivia, kissing him and touching him. Wanting him. He smiles in the mirror of his bathroom after brushing his teeth. At least dreams like that will be a great incentive to go to bed.

…

Olivia hasn't gotten enough sleep. She found herself worrying during the night. Worrying about how she had come on to Trevor and what he would think of her now. He'd been nothing but gentlemanly, and he had assured her that he's definitely interested in her. That it just wasn't the right time. He's right, of course and like he said, she doesn't hate him for leaving. Not at all. She had wanted comfort sex but he isn't just dating her to get her into his bed. That much is obvious now. And it feels ... new. A little unsettling. Scary. But it also makes her smile a lot.

She's up early because Nina is testifying in front of the Grand Jury this morning and Olivia wants to be there. Before she has time to go to the courthouse, she gets a call from Elliot. Melinda is done analyzing the tissue their suspect had discarded after blowing his nose in it, and they've found compelling evidence on it: aside from Gabriel's snot and traces of a woman's makeup, the tissue contains tears from an earlier victim. It's enough to arrest Gabriel Duvall after all and Elliot is eager to do the honors after letting Casey know what they've found. Casey has been taken off the case, but she's still very involved and wants to stay up to speed. After bringing Gabriel in, Elliot watches gleefully as he orders the man to take off his tie, belt and shoelaces, and even his cufflinks. Olivia bags everything. It gives both partners a sense of justice to put the man in the cage with some mean looking thugs and make him sweat for a while.

Afterwards, they go to the courthouse to deliver Duvall's file to Tracey Kibre, the ADA who will handle the case from now on. Kibre promises them she'll make sure the perp gets what he deserves.

On their way back to the house, Olivia yawns and she can feel Elliot's eyes on her. She can predict word for word what he's going to ask her next.

"Hey Liv. Is everything alright?"

Word for word.

"Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't it be?" she says dismissively, not looking at her partner.

"I know Carrie's story rattled you yesterday."

Of course he knows. He knows her history and she showed him all the booze she'd found in Denise's apartment.

"Yeah, it did. But I'm fine now."

She really doesn't want to get into this with Elliot now. She isn't ready to tell him about Trevor and she knows if he keeps asking her questions, he's going to find out she wasn't alone last night.

"Did you get any sleep?"

She lets out an exasperated sigh.

"El …"

"You've been distracted Liv. I'm concerned, okay?"

Now Elliot sounds a little annoyed as well. They're good at that. Getting under each other's skin. But she knows he means well and she apologizes.

"I'm sorry El. You're right. I didn't get enough sleep. But I'll be fine."

"Wanna talk about it?"

She shakes her head. She's already talked with Trevor and that turned out well. Quite well, actually. She still isn't really over how respectful the man had been and it makes him even more attractive to her than before. She knows she's falling for the tall attorney and whatever happens, she's not telling Elliot about it. She may have to eventually, but not now. It's too soon. All they have done so far is kiss anyway, although it would have been more if it had been up to her.

Trevor is an amazing kisser and her mind wanders back to last night. She totally forgets that Elliot has just asked her a question, and is startled when he tries to get her attention again.

"Liv!"

She blinks and looks at her partner, who is now looking at her with a mixture of annoyance and curiosity in his eyes. She realizes they've stopped for a red light, and unfortunately, she now has Elliot's undivided attention.

"Did you go out last night?" he asks her and she knows he's on to her.

She must have looked pretty dreamy, thinking about Trevor kissing her. Damn Elliot for knowing her too well and making her blush.

"Of course not," she lies anyway but Elliot shakes his head and smirks.

"I swung by your place and you weren't there. Are you seeing someone?"

She has to consciously tell herself not to scoff after that question.

"Huh? Whatever gives you that idea?" she fires back quickly. She's used to denying these things after all, with her ever-protective partner around.

Relief floods her system when the light turns green that very second, and Elliot has to tear his scrutinizing gaze away from her. Just when she thinks she's off the hook for now, she hears her partner and best friend mumble,

"I know you, Benson."

It's great to have a friend like Elliot looking out for her. It really is. But sometimes … it isn't. She doesn't want him to know about Trevor. He'll only get jealous, however inappropriate that is, and he won't understand. Defense attorneys are the enemy. Maybe her silence is telling but right now it's the only option she has. She doesn't say another word and thankfully, Elliot doesn't push her any further. Then again, maybe that's because he already knows enough.

…

Trevor calls Olivia that night. Just to check if she's alright, he tells himself. He knows it's more than that. He wants to hear her voice. Listen to her talk, and he doesn't even care what she talks about. He needs to know they're still okay. She surprises the hell out of him when she becomes a little flirty over the phone, and he tries not to wonder if she isn't overcompensating for last night. He should be glad she cares enough to put in the effort.

"I'm actually off the clock for the rest of the evening, can you believe that?" Olivia tells him, and Trevor wonders if he hears an invitation in her words.

"Good. Good. Maybe you can get a good night's sleep for once," he responds neutrally.

"What is it with you and sleep? Is this some kind of obsession I should know about?" Olivia asks, and he can hear her smile without seeing it.

"What do you mean?" he asks innocently, but he's pretty sure she is alluding to his comment last night, that he hadn't come over to sleep with her.

"You just mention it a lot," Olivia says neutrally.

He decides to fan the flames a little and see what happens.

"Well, the only obsession I have about sleep is, that I'd prefer to have someone wrapped around me at all times while I do it."

If he's surprised her, she isn't showing it and her answer is quick and to the point.

"So why didn't you stay last night?"

...

 **Hmmmm. What should Trevor do? Continue the flirting or go serious on her again?  
And how about that Elliot ...**


	17. On the Phone

**17\. On the Phone**

" _So why didn't you stay last night?"_

Her flirty question hangs between them for a few moments while Trevor paces in front of his living room window, his phone pressed to his right ear while he rubs the back of his head with his left hand. She knows perfectly well why he didn't stay last night. Is she expecting him to repeat it? To explain to her again that he's really serious about her and that he didn't want her to regret anything in the morning? That he didn't want to take advantage of a moment of weakness and possibly destroy the trust that is tentatively growing between them? They have avoided the topic of his job for a while now and he knows it's bound to come up again. Maybe he should bring it up himself and see how she reacts, to see if it will remain an issue once they do take things further. If they do take things further. He can't make up his mind this quickly and he knows she has him cornered. She has the upper hand now in their slow game of chess and all he manages to say after a pause is her name.

"Liv …"

"Yeah yeah, I know," she brushes him off and he shakes his head, rubbing his forehead.

He'd been racking his brain, wondering what to say, and she's just skipping over the entire topic like that? Honestly, he hadn't expected her to. It's not really like her. But when she continues talking, he has to sit down. She isn't dropping the subject at all.

"But I'm actually getting ready for bed right now, so if you can stay on the phone, we can pretend to be wrapped around each other?"

Now that she mentions it, it does sound like she's moving about a lot.

"What are you doing right now?" he asks her, sitting down in his chair.

"Undressing," she answers and he can hear the smile in her voice. She's trying to get to him and it's working. A visual of Olivia stripping out of her clothes assaults his brain and he rubs his neck nervously. Should he ask her how far along she is? How 'undressed' she is exactly?

"Is that so?" he asks, testing the waters.

"Yeah. I've already showered so there wasn't much to take off anyway."

She's naked? Like completely? Trevor swallows hard and hears Olivia chuckle softly. He covers his phone with his hand and clears his throat before asking her,

"What's your usual night attire, Ms. Benson? If I may be so bold as to ask?"

He's found his playful voice again and he can almost see her wide grin when she answers him,

"That depends entirely on the company, Mr. Langan."

"Please elaborate."

She laughs out loud then, and he hears rustling from what appears to be her sheet or comforter.

"Well, when I was younger, I used to cover as much of my body as possible," she says a little suggestively.

"But not anymore?" he asks, going along with her.

"Now, when I'm alone, I like the feeling of the sheets on my skin," she says, and he actually hears her moving about in her bed.

"How much skin are we talking about?" he asks, and he can't help it that his voice sounds a little hoarse.

"Oh you know, arms and legs and such."

He's not going there, he tells himself. He won't ask what 'and such' means. He goes for another angle.

"And when you're not alone?"

"When I'm not alone …"

She pauses and Trevor swallows again. What will she say?

"When I'm not alone, I like the feeling of skin on my skin."

Shit. He feels his body respond now, unmistakingly, and can't suppress a low groan.

…

Olivia holds her breath. That groan. He might as well have groaned straight into her ear. She can almost feel his hot breath on her skin. She isn't naked, wearing panties and a tank top, but she wasn't lying about liking the feeling of either sheets or skin on her skin. Right now, the thought of feeling skin on her skin is becoming more and more appealing.

She knows why Trevor held back though, and she knows he was right. Still, she has needs and she knows that she wants his body. But she also knows she won't want him just once, and that scares her. Real relationships have never worked for her before. Then again, she can't remember feeling this way before either, about any man. Well, maybe her very first real boyfriend, the 21-year old college student, but she'd been 16 at the time. She's older now and hopefully wiser, and Trevor isn't a kid anymore either. He's serious about her but she has to wonder if he knows what he's getting himself into. She isn't easy to get close to. She's surprised herself by opening up to Trevor about her past at all. He'd been right about that moment of weakness. She'd been weak with him and that wasn't really her.

But …

So far, showing him her weakness hasn't backfired on her. On the contrary. It's created a deeper understanding between them, and a sense of feeling comfortable with each other. Hell, they're flirting over the phone. That has to mean something.

"Are you alright, counselor?" she asks him, continuing their sexy banter.

"Not exactly," he admits. "You're not going to make this whole waiting thing any easier, are you?"

"Depends on how long you plan to wait," she replies and it's the most honest answer she has.

"Olivia," he says, and the tone of his voice tells her he's getting serious again.

She drops her head back on the pillow and stares up at the ceiling of her bedroom, waiting for him to continue. She'll wait for his cue before deciding in which direction she'll let this conversation go.

"I'm sure I don't have to tell you that I'm attracted to you."

She bites her lip. It's been fairly obvious but hearing him say the words does something to her. It makes her feel bubbly and she can't suppress a small smile.

"And I hope you know by now that I'm not just after your body."

She swallows. Here it comes.

"Right?" Trevor urges, and she understands that he wants her to confirm that she knows he wants more than just friendship, and more than just sex.

"Yeah," she grates out, and she's surprised at the sound of her own voice.

She's tensing up, as if he's getting too close. The innocent flirting, even the not-so-innocent flirting, is easier than this. Always has been for her.

"Okay."

She can hear him take a deep breath and she knows this can't be easy for him either. Casual dating is so much easier. There's nothing at stake. This is different and they both know it.

"I just …" Trevor says, and she thinks she knows what's coming. And she thinks she doesn't have an answer for him yet. Maybe she never will because she doesn't know how to do this. Olivia Benson doesn't do long term commitment. Trevor overcomes his hesitation and continues.

"I just want to know what _you_ want. If you're interested in more like I am."

Olivia closes her eyes and tells herself to keep breathing normally. The truth is, she feels like someone is pressing down on her chest. Each time she realizes that Trevor is serious about her, she doesn't know whether to run into his arms or to run as far away as she can get from him.

Being in his arms had felt so good the night before. So good. Safe. Even after she had tried to use him, she had still felt incredibly safe with him. She bites her lip again. Maybe she should try to be as honest as Trevor is being with her. Honesty is scary too, but he deserves some honesty from her now.

"Trevor," she says, testing her voice before continuing.

She hears him hold his breath and it helps her to continue. He really does deserve an honest answer.

"You should know I'm not very good at this relationship thing."

He breaths out and hums, and the low timbre of his voice hits her eardrums. Even his voice is sexy …

"We can figure it out as we go along," he offers. "if you're willing to try."

He is putting himself out there for her and it moves her. She has never dated anyone who was willing to put so much effort into her. No man she'd ever dated would have refused her last night. They would have pounced on her and taken all they could get from her. But not Trevor. And he's stopped for all the right reasons. He doesn't just want all he can get from her physically. He wants more. He really wants _all_ he can get from her, in the long run. If he'd given in to her last night, he would only have gotten a small part of her. He doesn't plan on settling for a small part and Olivia feels like a fish out of water. Trevor is making her feel wanted and loved. He makes her feel like she's special.

A dark thought creeps into her mind. She's not special at all. In fact, she should never have been born. She's the result of a heinous crime that should never have happened. How could anyone see her as special? As lovable? Worth the effort?

"Liv?" Trevor asks, interrupting her dark thoughts and Olivia squeezes her eyes shut.

What can she tell him? She thinks she wants to try to figure things out with him but she's scared. What if she disappoints him in the long run? What if she's not what he thought? What if he finds out how she came into this world? Doesn't he have the right to know about the demons she's fighting, that make her want to run away whenever someone gets too close?

She's used to looking out for others. To being the voice of people who have been robbed of theirs and to help them get back on their feet. She isn't used to being someone's equal and she's not used to leaning on someone else. She's not sure what to say.

…

Trevor is becoming increasingly nervous because Olivia doesn't say anything. Just then, he hears her say his name. And he hears the insecurity in her voice.

"Trevor."

"Yeah."

"I meant what I said. I'm not good at this. At all."

"That's okay," he says quickly, telling himself that this isn't a rejection. She isn't rejecting him or even the idea of a relationship. She's just not sure what to do and he's grateful that she's being honest with him. "It's okay Liv. There's no rush. We'll take it one day at a time."

"Or night?"

He grins, appreciating her attempt to lighten the mood.

"Or night. Of course."

"That's the easy part, isn't it?" she asks, and he closes his eyes.

It definitely won't be hard to spend the night with Olivia. She's right. That's the easy part. But it's not the only part.

"Yeah," he admits with a smile. "I'm sure that won't be a problem."

"I'm not trying to be difficult, Trev," Olivia tells him honestly, and he swoons a little at the short version of his name.

"I know Liv," he says softly. "Don't worry about it. I'm still not going anywhere."

He hears her sigh and he wonders what she's thinking. When she doesn't say anything, he adds,

"Why don't you get some sleep now, and I'll call you again tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Okay. Sleep well Liv."

"You too. And Trevor?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

...

 **To be continued. Reviews are life.**


	18. Plans

**Short chapter again, a little filler chapter with some banter. I hope you like it!**

...

 **18\. Plans**

There is a lull in their case load at last and Olivia welcomes it. Normally she enjoys being out in the streets and keeping busy but she doesn't mind the quiet for once, even if it means she'll have to do paperwork all day this Friday. It feels good to be able to wrap things up. Gabriel Duvall's trial won't start for another week and Carrie's case is finally closed. The girl has accepted her punishment of five years in a juvenile facility. She will be 20 when she gets out and if Justin is truly a man of his word, they will both be free to be together then. A lot can happen in five years but Olivia is going to count this case as a win anyway. At twenty, Carrie will still have her whole life ahead of her.

Her mind wanders back to Trevor almost automatically and she's actually looking forward to the weekend. She is pretty sure he'll have something planned for them and she smiles while signing one of the papers on her desk.

"Got any plans this weekend?"

The voice of her partner startles her out of her thoughts and she looks up to see his blue eyes watching her curiously.

"Not yet," she replies honestly while keeping her answer vague.

"Hm."

Elliot leans back in his chair and smiles at her. Olivia raises an eyebrow but can't quite suppress a smile of her own.

"So you're waiting for him to come up with something?"

His smile is infectious but his words push her out of her comfort zone a little.

"Who?" she asks and now Elliot is grinning full on.

"Liv, Liv," he says sweetly. "You're very secretive about this one. He must be special."

She tells herself not to blush but bites her lip when she feels her skin flush anyway. She looks down at the paper she just signed, closes the file, puts it to the side and grabs the next one off her pile. She feels Elliot's eyes still on her but she doesn't want to be in this particular conversation with him. He won't understand why she'd even consider going out with a defense attorney, let alone think of building a real relationship with one.

"Hey," her partner says, and the soft tone of his voice makes her look up at him again.

He is leaning forward over his desk and smiles at her again.

"For what it's worth, I'm happy for you Liv."

Olivia's eyes widen and she opens her mouth, but doesn't know what to say. Of all the things her overprotective partner could have come up with, she hadn't expected this. She had thought he would try to find out more about the guy she was seeing and try to discredit him. Not this.

Elliot leans back in his chair and watches her, twirling his pen around between his fingers. It has to be a trick, she can't help thinking. Elliot has never been okay with her dating. Maybe he's just trying to get her to open up to him by playing the supportive friend. When he doesn't say anything else, Olivia takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly.

"Thanks," she says quietly after a beat, well aware that she has just confirmed that she is indeed seeing someone. She knows Elliot knew that already anyway. And as long as he doesn't start following them around, it's not the worst thing in the world, she decides. He is her best friend after all.

But then she hears Elliot mumbling,

"But if he hurts you, I'll break his legs."

 _There's_ the overprotective partner she knows so well. And when it comes down to it, she has to admit she wouldn't have it any other way.

…

Trevor has been busy all day long and doesn't get home until eight. He is exhausted and while he hasn't eaten dinner yet, he doesn't feel like making himself something or even ordering in. He peruses the contents of his refrigerator and finds some cheese and olives that seem appealing to him. He puts the snacks on a plate and carries it with him to the living room, along with a bottle of red wine and a glass. He promised Olivia he'd call her but he needs to unwind a little first, and get all the clients of the day out of his head. He puts on some quiet music and tries to relax.

About an hour later he startles awake at the sound of his phone ringing. He fell asleep on the couch? The now empty plate slides off his lap and he manages to catch it before it hits the wooden floor. He reaches for his phone, that's next to his wine glass on the coffee table. At least he'd had the good sense to put that on the table before nodding off. His phone stops ringing, it must have gone to voicemail, and he grabs it to see who the caller was.

 _Olivia._

He takes a deep breath and smiles. Actually, he's grinning and he can't stop himself. He is fully awake now and decides to call her back immediately. Just then, his phone pings, letting him know he has a voice message. He decides to listen to her message before calling her back. Her melodious voice is like music to his ears.

"Hey. Busy day? I was hoping to hear from you. Thought maybe we could hang out tomorrow? Call me, okay? …. Bye."

He'd held his breath during the pause before she added 'Bye.' Had he hoped for something else? For something sweet maybe? He shakes his head. They may be getting serious about each other, but not _that_ serious yet. At least he thinks _she_ isn't that serious yet. He isn't sure how sure she is about wanting to go for a real relationship with him. He tells himself he needs to stop analyzing her every word and just call her back, so he does just that.

"Hey, did I call at a bad time?" she asks at once.

"Oh no," he assures her. "In fact I was drooling all over my couch so it's a good thing you woke me up."

"What?" she asks, but he can hear that she's smiling.

"Yeah yeah, I admit it. I fell asleep on you," he jokes.

"Long day then?" she asks, and he appreciates the concern he hears in her voice.

"Yes. I got home late and I crashed on the couch. Literally. You?"

"My day was pretty good actually," she tells him, and he can hear that she's a lot more upbeat than she had been two days ago or even the day before.

"I'm glad," he says warmly. "And ehm … I got your voice message."

"Okay."

"I'd love to hang out with you tomorrow. What would you like to do?"

Olivia pauses. He isn't sure what she'd want to do. He does have an idea what he would like to do though.

"I don't know," Olivia says hesitantly, and he thinks he hears some insecurity in her voice.

"I have an idea," he offers, hoping she won't mind that he is taking the lead.

"Let's have it," Olivia says, and he swears she sounds relieved.

"Well, my nephew has a soccer game tomorrow at noon."

"Interesting."

"My sister actually asked me to pick him up afterwards."

"Oh. So you had plans already?"

"It doesn't have to take up much time. Just pick him up and drop him off at my grandmother's. But if you'd like to see the whole game with me …"

He trails off, hoping Olivia won't find it inappropriate that he's basically inviting her to a family affair. Fact is, he would love for her to meet his nephew Peter, and his grandmother too for that matter. He wants his loved ones to meet the woman he's fallen in love with.

"That sounds … interesting," he hears Olivia say, and he wonders what she's thinking.

"Is it too soon?" he asks, and before he can even begin to clarify what he means, Olivia responds,

"Oh no. It's … I'd love to come to the game and meet your nephew. I can't wait."

The silly grin is back and Trevor rubs the back of his neck.

"I'm glad Liv. Really," he says softly.

…

Olivia smiles. She can hear how happy Trevor is in his warm voice. And it's true that she would love to meet some of his family. She feels good around him and is curious about the people who know him simply as Trevor, and not as a defense attorney. She sips her wine and asks him if he's had dinner. Trevor admits that he's only had a few small bites and some wine. They chuckle when they realize they are both drinking wine at the same time, and make a toast over the phone.

"To tomorrow," Trevor says warmly, and Olivia smiles.

"To tomorrow."

They drink quietly and after a few minutes of comfortable silence between them, they decide to end the call.

"Goodnight, lovely Liv," she hears Trevor say and she bites her lower lip.

Lovely. That sounds so much like love … She wants to say something sweet and fitting to him as well to let him know that he's growing on her still. She knows he's waiting for her to say something to end their call and she finally tells him,

"Goodnight, charming Trev. See you tomorrow."

...


	19. End goal

**19\. End goal**

Trevor picks Olivia up at 10.30 and they eye each other for a second at her door before he reaches for her. It shouldn't be awkward now for them to kiss, should it? It's not exactly the first time. Olivia smiles a little shyly but then moves into his arms. Trevor closes his eyes when their lips meet and he can feel Olivia relaxing against him. He kisses her softly and can't help smiling when it's Olivia who stands on her toes to prolong the kiss just a little bit when he wants to pull away respectfully.

"Good morning," he whispers, cupping her cheek with one hand while rubbing her back with the other.

"Good morning," she says softly. "You wanna head out right away?"

"I think we should. It will take us at least an hour to get there in my car."

He's surprised her, like he knew he would.

"An hour? And you're driving?"

He shrugs, creating a little more distance between them so Olivia can grab her coat and they can head out.

"Peter plays at Woodhaven in Queens," he tells her as they walk down the stairs. "My sister lives out there as well as our grandmother, so I drive there often. It's no big deal."

People who live and work in Manhattan often come to rely on public transport but Trevor actually likes to drive. He prefers leaving the city altogether and he can't help thinking he'd like to take Olivia out of the city one day. Maybe they could use his partner's cabin in the Catskills. He's visited Henshall and his wife there once with a former girlfriend and Henshall had told him he could use the cabin any time he wanted. He's never contemplated going there with anyone until now. He is sure Olivia would love it too. She seems to enjoy being away from the stress and emotional toll her job takes on her, and he thinks maybe she needs it more than she knows.

He grins when he sees her taking in his car. He knows it's a little extravagant, but as a high-priced lawyer he is expected to have a car like this. He drives a black Mercedes Benz W221. Olivia doesn't comment and quickly gets in before he can open the passenger door for her. He shakes his head before rounding the car and getting in as well.

…

Olivia leans back in the comfortable leather seat and tries not to think too hard about what Trevor does for a living to be able to afford such a car. She feels a little out of place in the luxurious car though, in her casual attire of jeans and a purple V-neck sweater and her short woolen coat.

"Buckle up," Trevor says cheerfully and she can see he's a little proud of his ride.

She has to admit the car is a dream to ride in and oddly enough, he doesn't look out of place at the wheel at all in his jeans and grey hoody with the Woodhaven soccer logo splashed on the front. Maybe it's because he owns this car, in more ways than one, she thinks.

He looks at her and winks at her, smiling, before steering the car out of her street onto Columbus Avenue. They chat a little about sports on the way to Queens and he is pleasantly surprised to learn that Olivia has actually played soccer herself in high school.

"It's been ages," she says with a laugh. "But at least I'm not one of those stereotype women who don't understand what offside means."

"That's good. Very good," Trevor says and she can tell he's trying to keep a straight face when he adds, "Having to explain the game to someone is a big turnoff for me."

Olivia rolls her eyes and decides not to come back with a clever remark, because she's not ready this early in the day to talk about what might turn him _on_. Trevor lets it slide too, and they talk about soccer some more and about why they both prefer it over football or basketball.

"People often say the game is too slow because sometimes nobody even scores a single point," Olivia says.

"I know," Trevor says, keeping his eyes on the road. "But I like these games that take perseverance and minds that are able to stay focused on the end goal, no matter what happens or doesn't happen during the match. They don't need to score points all the time, as long as they win the prize in the end."

Olivia studies his face after his remarks and she has to admit she likes the way he thinks. A quick score might feel like a win, but these games where points go well into double digits, like basketball, can turn around so fast that the players hardly know what hit them. He's someone who is in for the long run, not interested in a quick win. She's experienced that firsthand when he turned her down the other day and wouldn't sleep with her just to make her feel better. And while she's still not quite sure yet how to play this relationship game, that isn't actually a game at all, it's reassuring that Trevor seems to know what he's doing. She realizes once more that she feels oddly safe with him in that respect. And of all the men she's dated before, that is definitely a first. She finds herself able to relax with Trevor, in a way she knows she doesn't even relax with her partner.

Maybe that's what Elliot has seen in her, and maybe that's why he isn't trying to interfere with her love life this time. She has never been wooed like this before, and really getting to know someone, and she finds herself giving in to it, little by little. Elliot knows her inside and out and maybe he's recognizing what she's had a hard time admitting to herself. That she is actually in love.

…

The soccer fields are bustling with activity while several matches are being played by kids of all ages. The sun comes out just as Olivia and Trevor exit the car, that he's managed to park pretty close to the entrance because another car was just pulling out.

"Liv, wait up," Trevor says as soon as they're out of the car.

He's brought something for her and he hopes she will appreciate it. He beckons her to join him at the backdoor of the car on the driver's side and pulls out a second grey Woodhaven hoody.

"You have to wear this to support the team."

Olivia isn't sure what to make of it. He assures her the pullover hoody is warm enough to wear over her sweater without her coat and when she smiles and unzips her coat, he grins triumphantly. He takes her coat and while she pulls the hoody over her head, he grabs two more items from the backseat. Olivia laughs when she sees him hold up two beanies. He quickly puts one on himself and Olivia stands perfectly still when Trevor pulls one over her hair and ears. Once the beanie is on her head properly, he tugs at it to pull her face close to his and tells her softly,

"You look great."

She smiles before he plants a little kiss on her lips. Olivia remarks that they look like twins with the matching hoodies and beanies.

"They gotta know you're here with me," Trevor says, wrapping his arms around her waist. Olivia smiles and leans into him before turning around to fish her phone out of her coat pocket. Trevor locks up the Mercedes and they head out to the fields. They find a good spot in the bleachers and Trevor points out his sister and her son to her across the field.

"Look. That's Linda en Peter," he tells her as he stands up to wave at his family. "Linda is leaving right away so she'll want to know we're here already."

"Why can't she stay?" Olivia asks, standing next to him.

"She works at the hospital and needs to take weekend shifts every once in awhile," he explains.

"Oh, I see. What does she do at the hospital?"

"She's a pediatrician."

Linda spots them and waves, then blows her brother a kiss that he pretends to catch. When he sees Olivia studying him, he shrugs and tells her,

"I love my sister."

"And Peter's dad? He couldn't make it?"

He knew that question would come and he has his answer ready.

"Let's just say that Derek isn't in Peter's life as much as we all would like to."

"They're divorced?"

Trevor nods, hoping they're not spoiling their good mood with this little conversation about his former brother-in-law.

"He started another family. While he was still married to Linda."

"Oh."

He sees Olivia's eyes drift back to his sister and her son and he sees compassion in them, like he had expected.

"Peter's the best thing that ever happened to her," he tells Olivia truthfully.

"And you're kind of a father figure for him," she muses, still watching mother and son intently.

"Yeah. Yes, I guess you could say that."

He's never thought of it like that, but now that she mentions it, he thinks she may be right.

"Do you want kids?" he hears her ask as they finally sit down.

"More than anything," he blurts out.

He watches her as her eyes follow his nephew, who is running up to his teammates to warm up for the game. They haven't talked about it yet but he knows she wants kids too. When she turns her head to look at him, he bites his lip to keep himself from saying something stupid. It's too soon, he tells himself. He can wait. He doesn't need a quick score to feel like he may win this match. He's in for the long run, even if that means he won't score until the last minute. He can wait. Olivia will be worth it.

...


	20. Good day

**Another update after just one day? Yes! This particular part of the story was already worked out in my head so it was just a matter of typing it out. Enjoy!**

...

 **20\. Good day**

She's seeing a completely new side of the man. Trevor is standing, cheering his nephew on loudly and yelling at the referee and the linesmen when he feels they've made a wrong call. He's even punched her in the arm twice in his excitement and he's beaming with pride whenever Peter has the ball.

Peter plays on the right of the center of the field and passes the ball regularly while his team builds up an offense, or manages to steal the ball from his opponent, interrupting their attack. Olivia has to admit the boy isn't half bad and when Peter runs forward with his team members and the boy he passes the ball to actually scores, Olivia is on her feet as well. Trevor's excitement is contagious and she shrieks when Trevor lifts her up in a crushing hug. They both laugh out loud when he sets her back down again and Olivia feels good. She feels great actually. Free to laugh and have fun and just _live_. This is what regular people do. Regular people aren't faced with the most horrible abuse imaginable on a daily basis. They live their lives, enjoy time spent with loved ones and celebrate each others' successes. It's the life she had longed for when she was little, seeing other kids her age going out with their parents and friends, and talk about all the fun stuff they had done over the weekend. She'd started cleaning up her mothers' vomit when she was only eight, and had taught herself how to cook, somewhat, so she'd at least get a hot meal on days her mother was passed out. Not exactly things a child would want to tell in school on Monday morning.

This is the life that had been robbed from her, and it's made her want to fight for people who have also been robbed of their joy. Somewhere along the line, she must have lost her own joy because it almost feels foreign to her to be here, so carefree with nothing on her mind but whether Peter's team is going to be able to stay ahead in the match. Or maybe she never had that joy to begin with.

During the fifteen minute break after the first half of the match, she lets her mind wander a bit. Trevor has walked off to get them both something warm to drink. He still doesn't know everything about her past and the fact that she thinks it is important, is very telling. She's never told any of her boyfriends about how she was conceived, or even that her mother had become an alcoholic because of it. She's never felt that it mattered, because they never stuck around anyway.

Trevor is making it very clear that he isn't looking for an affair. And he's even managing to make that idea so appealing that she isn't freaking out. Yet.

When he walks up to her again with a wide grin on his face that can melt her in an instant, she can't help smiling back widely.

"Hot chocolate with whipped cream on top," he announces triumphantly while sitting down next to her.

Olivia reaches for one of the steaming cups and blurts out,

"Oh my God, I love you!"

They both freeze the instant the words have left her lips and her eyes flick up to Trevor's.

Neither of them has a comeback. No swift move or even an idea of which chess piece to use right now. Olivia can't even decide if she'd want to take the words back if she could. They just stare at each other and finally, she sees Trevor's face relax. She knows, even before he speaks, that he's going to rescue her.

…

Trevor is as shocked as Olivia is for a moment and he tries to read her to gauge what she's feeling after blurting out something that should have been completely innocent. But between them, in the current stage of building their relationship slowly, the words mean more. For both of them apparently, because Olivia isn't shaking it off as a joke either. She hasn't even taken the cup of hot chocolate out of his hand yet, her hand frozen in mid air. He needs to do something and fast. His eyes drop from her eyes down to her lips, that are parted and letting out small puffs of air that are visible because of the cold. He has an idea and relaxes, giving her a small smile. He looks at her hand then and places the cup of hot chocolate in it. His voice is a little raspy when he tells her,

"I always thought I'd be the first one to say that, but I'm very happy that you're so pleased with my choice of beverage."

He knows that his words contain an admission but right now, it's all he can think of to help Olivia relax again. He scoots a little closer to her and touches her cup with his own. Olivia lets out a ragged breath and he wants to wrap his arm around her to help her relax but he can't right now. He needs to give her some space. He is relieved when she finally makes an attempt to smile as well.

"I am, thank you" she says softly, and he knows she's thanking him for more than just the drink.

They sip the hot liquid quietly and since there is no way to drink it without getting whipped cream on their noses, they soon find something to laugh about again. Olivia chuckles hesitantly at first but when Trevor leans over and rubs his own nose against hers, saying they need to share the cream, she giggles a little more freely.

Olivia Benson giggling. This has to be a first, he thinks. She's so cute when she giggles. He gets a little bolder and moves his mouth to the tip of her nose to lick the whipped cream off. Olivia insists on returning the favor and once his nose is clean too, their lips just find each other automatically in a sweet kiss that deepens quickly. It's like Olivia tries to tell him what she can't say in words yet and he feels a stirring low in his abdomen when she moans softly. He tastes chocolate on her tongue and a flavor on her lips that is uniquely Olivia, and he groans as well. He feels clumsy, still holding his cup and holding her with just one arm, but he's not about to break off the intimate, longing kiss. He suddenly wishes the match was over so he could take her home with him and kiss her some more.

They break apart when the referee blows his whistle, and they realize that the team has been back on the field for a few minutes. Maybe Peter has even seen him kiss Olivia … She bites her lip and he grins at her. They're okay. They both turn their attention back to the second half of the soccer match. They're okay now and he'll get back to those three little words one of these days. Soon, he promises himself. As soon as he thinks she's ready.

…

Peter's team wins the match two to one and they make their way to the players to find the ten-year old. Trevor grabs her hand so they won't get separated in the crowd and frowns when he feels how cold her hand is. Olivia smiles at him. It's not a big deal, she tells him. Right now, she just wants to meet Peter. Trevor calls out to the young boy when he spots him, and Peter comes bounding towards them.

"Uncle Trevor!" he yells before flinging himself into his uncle's arms.

Trevor laughs and picks him up, and Peter starts talking about the game excitedly while Trevor holds him on his arm effortlessly.

"Did you see that pass uncle? I kicked it just right and then Rico scored!"

"I know buddy. We saw that and we cheered so hard. So you wanna meet my new friend?"

Peter looks down at Olivia and nods.

"Yeah. Hi."

Trevor sets Peter back down on the ground and Olivia extends a hand.

"Hi Peter, I'm Olivia," she says.

Peter takes her hand and shakes it.

"I'm Peter and it's nice to meet you," he says politely. "So you're my uncle's new girlfriend?"

Olivia smiles and glances at Trevor. Is she?

"She sure is, Peter," Trevor says, and Olivia bites her lip. He makes it sound so official.

Peter looks at his uncle and back at Olivia, and nods slowly.

"I saw you kissing each other."

Olivia tries to suppress a smile but Trevor is completely unfazed and crouches next to Peter.

"Yeah. Isn't it cool? I can't believe it myself. She's way too pretty and nice for me!"

Peter looks up at her again as if trying to decide if she's good enough for his uncle, and then asks Trevor,

"So is she coming with us to grandma's too?"

Trevor looks up at her briefly and she smiles again. She likes to see him interact with this boy.

"That's the plan," Trevor says. "Do you think grandma will like Olivia?"

"Sure," Peter says, shrugging. "So let's go. Grandma promised me pancakes if we won."

They walk back to Trevor's car and Olivia watches the man and the boy, walking hand in hand in front of her. Trevor is carrying Peter's big bag with his soccer shoes and uniform in it. He really is like a father figure for Peter and they are so natural together. She can picture him with children of his own and she remembers the look in his eyes when he told her he wanted children more than anything. And for the first time in her life she can picture herself having a child with someone she'd trust to be a reliable man and father. The thought startles her a little but when she sees Trevor's happy, loving smile, she relaxes again.

One day at a time, he'd told her. No need to get ahead of herself. One day at a time, and so far, this day is a good day.

...


	21. Family

**I really wasn't happy with what I wrote for this story so I've had to edit this chapter several times. Then, it was getting way to long, so now we're basically left with a filler chapter. I apologize in advance but I'm already writing chapter 22 so there will be more soon!**

...

 **21\. Family**

Peter is chatting happily about the game in the backseat during the short drive from the soccer fields to grandma's house. Olivia is curious about this woman. She must be fairly old to be Trevor's grandmother, but apparently she can still look after a 10-year old for a while. She thinks Trevor is about 36, a little younger than she is, so his grandmother would be in her early eighties by now. She wonders if she'll see any similarities between the woman and her grandson and she glances at Trevor's profile.

He is talking animatedly with his nephew and Olivia is content just listening to them while she warms her hands by stuffing them between her thighs and her seat.

"Still cold?" Trevor asks her. "Don't worry. We'll get you warm at grandma's."

"Grandmama makes the best pancakes!" Peter pipes up again. "You like pancakes too, Olivia? What's your favorite flavor?"

"Blueberry," she answers without having to think about it.

"Mine too!" Peter exclaims and Olivia turns around in her seat to high-five the ten-year old.

Trevor looks at her and gives her a smile that seems to warm her from the inside out. He's happy that she and Peter are getting along.

Grandma may be 82 but she is definitely still a strong lady. She's tiny compared to her tall grandson and she looks frail, but her voice is strong and her blue eyes are clear behind her little grandma glasses.

"Come in, come in," the old lady urges. "Get out of the cold. And Peter? Shower and change first, pancakes later!"

"Okay grandmama!" Peter says cheerfully, brushing past the woman and into the house.

"Pete! Clothes!" Trevor yells after him, and Peter comes jogging back to take the bag that Trevor is holding out to him.

Grandma's eyes fix on Olivia at last, and she smiles.

"And you must be Olivia."

Olivia resists the urge to look at Trevor. He's told his grandmother about her?

"Yes, ma'am, I am. It's nice to meet you."

She extends her hand and grandma grabs it with both her slender, boney hands.

"It's nice to meet you too. My grandson tells me you two have been dating for a while."

"We have," Olivia confirms, still not looking at Trevor.

She doesn't want to embarrass him but she is beginning to wonder how much he's told his grandmother about her.

"Well, my name is Christina Langan but you can just call me grandma, alright dear? Now please come in. You must have some coffee before you're off again."

Olivia glances at Trevor, wondering if he'd known they would be invited in, and he just grins at her and shrugs lightly. He had known.

They all move into the spacious hall of the house and Trevor bends down to hug his grandmother.

"You're having a good few days, aren't you?" he hears his warm voice ask the frail-looking lady while he rubs her back lovingly.

"Oh yes. I can't complain. And I'm happy to have Peter over for a few hours."

They walk into the spacious living room, and Olivia is surprised at the modern interior that is hidden behind the classical facade of the villa-like house. Her eyes are immediately drawn to the glass wall at their left,that gives them a spectacular view of the garden. Trevor moves next to her and wraps an arm around her shoulders. He plucks the beanie off his head and off hers.

"She likes you," he says softly and Olivia finally looks up at him.

"How can you tell?" she asks.

"I just can," he says with a grin. "And uh … maybe I've already been boasting about you a little bit."

"Oh yes he has!" grandma pipes up, lifting a finger and waving it in the air without looking behind her.

Grandma reaches her armchair and decides to take a break, plopping down on it rather unceremoniously.

"Would you get the coffee dear?" she asks Trevor. "You can show Olivia the kitchen while you're there."

"Of course grandma."

Olivia spots a wheelchair next to the white leather sofa in the living area, and wonders whose it is. She knows Trevor's grandfather has passed away. She follows Trevor into the open kitchen, that overlooks the living area as well as the sunroom that leads to the garden. She notices that a there are a few steps down from the living area to the sunroom and from the sunroom to the garden, but there are built-in ramps too, for the wheelchair. Looking outside, she sees that the entire garden is also very wheelchair friendly.

Meanwhile, Trevor has started pouring the coffee grandma had already made into a pot. Three cups as well as a glass of lemonade are already on a tray. Grandma has definitely prepared for her visitors.

"Behold the kitchen," Trevor says with a smile. "Everything was built so it would be within reach of grandma, even sitting down."

"Wow," Olivia sighs, touching the marble countertop, that is indeed a lot lower than standard and way too low for Trevor to cook at. "But why would she be sitting down? Does she get tired quickly?"

"Grandma has MS," Trevor explains. "She's had it for years and she has good days and bad days. Some days she can't even get up, and other days you couldn't tell there was anything wrong with her."

The wheelchair and the wheelchair-friendliness of the house make sense now, as does Trevor's comment about grandma having a good few days.

"Oh, that is so sad," Olivia says. "I was wondering about that wheelchair but I get it now."

"Grandma is very brave," Trevor assures her, and she can tell that he's proud of his little grandmother.

"I'm sure she is. And she lives here all alone?"

"No, my aunt and her husband live upstairs but they travel a lot for work so their daughter keeps an eye out for grandma."

"She lives here too?"

"Part-time, yes. Whenever her parents are both away on business trips."

Olivia nods and follows Trevor back to the living area when he picks up the tray with their coffee and a few tiny cookies. He has such a big family and while it feels good to get to know a few of his family members, it makes her think of her own lack of family. She has nobody now that her mother is dead, and it makes her question once more if there really is a place for her in the world. When she looks at how kindly Trevor interacts with his grandmother and how great he is with Peter, it's bitter sweet.

…

They drink their coffee and once Peter returns, freshly showered and changed into normal clothes, he overtakes the entire conversation. Trevor notices that Olivia is quiet and he wonders if that's because she feels like a guest with his family, or if there is something bothering her. Grandma tries to steer the conversation back to Olivia a few times, asking her about her own family, and he notices that she's ill at ease. They haven't really talked about her family, he realizes. She's told him about her mother and he's deduced that there was no father in the picture. She's never mentioned any siblings either. He should ask her about that. At least after Olivia has told grandma that it's always been just her and her mom, grandmother changed the subject, asking about Olivia's job.

After coffee, grandma insists on showing Olivia the garden before they leave, and Trevor hopes she won't mind humoring the old lady. She doesn't seem to mind, and asks grandma several questions about the plants and statues in the garden, which grandma answers enthusiastically. The garden is really beautiful all year around, his grandmother has transformed it into a beautiful winter garden once more, although the first signs of spring are visible already.

"This is amazing," Olivia says, gesturing at the spacious garden. "You're maintaining this yourself?"

"Oh yes. It's my pride and joy," grandma confirms. "And thanks to my darling grandson here, I can get around both inside and outside in my chair too. He arranged all the adaptations to this place for me."

Trevor feels a little uncomfortable, being praised by his grandmother like that, and tries to brush it off.

"We're all happy that she's been able to stay here after grandpa died. He left her with a good pension and as a family, we look out for her."

"They're all so good to me. But Trevor here is special, Olivia," grandma adds with a wink at the brunette.

"Must be great to have a big family," he hears Olivia say while she turns away from them to admire one of several stone statues that grace the garden.

He knows he should be grateful that she's changed the subject but her remark sticks with him. He's been meaning to ask her about her family and makes a mental note to bring it up later.

After grandma has made Olivia promise she'll come and taste her pancakes next time, they leave and Trevor suggests going to his place, since she hasn't seen it yet. They drive back in a comfortable silence, each caught up in their own thoughts, while occasionally commenting on something they see along the way.

Trevor isn't sure how to bring up the subject of Olivia's family and he tries to put it out of his mind because he doesn't want to make her uncomfortable while they are feeling so comfortable around each other now.

Olivia jokes that he probably lives in a mansion and he wonders if she minds his lifestyle. It's not that he flaunts how well off he is, but he isn't living a modest life either. He knows he wants to know what she thinks, not because he needs her approval in any way but simply because he wants to know what she thinks about anything and everything. He takes a deep breath and breathes it out inaudibly. He's really fallen hard for the Detective and he wonders if she has a clue how deep he's in already. And he wonders if she might start feeling the same for him.

Olivia doesn't say much at first after they have entered his apartment. She just looks around, admiring the view and touching the furniture. He thinks she looks adorable, still in her Woodhaven hoody and with her hair all messed up because of the beanie she's been wearing.

"So? What do you think?" he finally asks her.

He can't deny he's a little proud of the place and how he's decorated it. He's had some help picking out things from his sister and one of his exes, but still, it feels like his own place.

"I could never afford to live like this," she says neutrally.

Trevor doesn't know what to say. She surprises him when she walks up to him with a small smile playing on her lips. He knows she's going to make a joke so he waits for her to speak again.

"Didn't know you were _that_ good, counselor."

Trevor grins and when Olivia is close enough, he reaches for her and places his hands on her hips.

"There's a lot about me that you don't know yet, Detective."

The innuendo in his voice is intentional and he can see she's picking up on it.

"Maybe we should work on that," she suggests, and he feels his throat go dry instantly.

She's coming on to him in his own apartment. How could he say no to her?

"I like the way you think," he says while leaning in to kiss her.

"First of all, I would like to know if you cook," Olivia says, and she's grinning now.

"Don't toy with me," Trevor growls against her cheek and Olivia chuckles softly. "It's not dinner time yet."

Olivia shrugs.

"I could eat."

"You cops and your weird schedules," he mutters.

…

Olivia pats Trevor on the ass when he leads the way to his open kitchen. She likes the playfulness between them, and it distracts her from her worries about where this 'thing' between them is going. She has caught herself several times wanting to tell him all about herself, about her life and her hopes and dreams, and about her fears. It's brand new territory for her and it's a little confusing. She can do the banter and she can do the seductiveness, but she isn't used to this sense of growing so close to another person. She's only ever felt close to her partner, and that is kind of pathetic. But it's also very safe, she realizes, because with Elliot there will never be more than friendship. It's a deep, caring friendship but that is all it's ever going to be. She knows he is still longing to go back to his family and she doesn't doubt that he will one day. And that has made growing close to Elliot completely safe.

With Trevor on the other hand … his intentions are clear. Honorable, but definitely more than just a deep friendship. And she wants that too and she can feel hope bubbling inside her that she may finally be finding the real deal with him. He is turning out to be so completely different than she'd thought. He's actually paid for renovations of his grandmother's home? What conscienceless lawyer does that?

Trevor pulls her out of her thoughts by patting her backside in return to get her attention.

"Hey. Pay attention," he says sternly, but she can see the twinkle in his eyes and sticks her tongue out at him.

"Alright, show me your luxury kitchen appliances, you big shot lawyer."

"Hey hey," Trevor says, holding both hands up in mock surrender. "If you don't want to know my cooking secrets, that's fine too. No problem."

She is actually curious if he knows how to cook so she smiles sweetly at Trevor, who visibly melts instantly. He places his hands on her shoulders and pulls her towards him, and this time Olivia doesn't stop him from kissing her softly. She stands on her toes to kiss him back a little more firmly and when his strong arms wrap around her, she can't suppress a moan. It feels so good to be in his arms. When Trevor breaks off the kiss and mumbles against her lips that he won't get anything done like this, she has a mind to drag him off to his bedroom, wherever that is in this huge apartment, and skip the food altogether.

"I don't need a big meal," she tells him, looking into his eyes to see what he's thinking.

"I can do a small meal. My mother taught me all I need to know to take care of my guests."

Olivia releases him a little reluctantly and stands back, leaning against the counter while Trevor goes to work and whips them up a salad with some fish from the fridge and some warm toast with honey.

"Nice," Olivia muses. "I didn't think of you as the domestic type at all. Or as a family man."

Trevor frowns and looks at her after filling their plates.

"What _did_ you think of me then?" he asks.

"You don't wanna know," Olivia says with a grin. "I was very prejudiced."

"Against lawyers?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm glad I'm passing your tests."

Olivia smiles. He has most certainly passed a lot of tests already. Just one more to go really. And it's the toughest one of all, because it will mean she has to open up to him. Really open up. And it's scary as hell.

...

 **More soon, promise. Reviews are life.**


	22. A rapist's daughter

**22\. A rapist's daughter**

Trevor carries their plates to the dinner table and asks Olivia to pick a drink and pour them both a glass. He's sensed a shift in her demeanor, and that's happened a few times now today. It's like she is going back and forth in her mind about something and he wants to know what it is that keeps distracting her.  
They sit down next to each other and Trevor rubs Olivia's back lovingly before they both pick up their forks and start eating their early little dinner. When he finally decides to dive into the conversation, he chooses his words carefully.

"Liv. I have a feeling there's something on your mind. If you want to talk about it, you know you can talk to me, right?"

Olivia puts her fork down and for a moment he thinks she's annoyed with him. She stares at her food when she replies.

"Yes. I know."

"Okay."

He hesitates. Should he encourage her some more, or wait for her? Olivia picks up her fork again and continues eating. He smiles when he sees her stab at all the tomato chunks and eat them all before starting on the fish. He bets she's always eaten like that, from when she was just a child. She must have been an adorable little girl and it hurts him to know she's been treated so badly by her own mother.

"Your family is very nice. All looking out for each other," Olivia says out of the blue. "You're very lucky."

Trevor looks at Olivia's profile and when she finally turns her head to look at him, he can't quite place the look in her eyes.

"Liv … I have to admit I've been wondering about that. About family, I mean. _Your_ family. You've never mentioned your father or any other relatives."

He sees her eyes dim instantly, and she looks away.

"There's nothing to mention, Trevor," she says, making a dismissive gesture with her hand, but he can hear the tension in her voice.

"How come?"

She looks away and he senses her discomfort again. He'd like to take her in his arms. Whatever is troubling her, he wants to make it all better. He is suddenly worried that Olivia's father may have hurt her in the past, since she won't mention him, and he shudders at the thought of Olivia as a victim of assault. He's always thought she was carrying something around with her but he has yet to find out the magnitude of her secret.

"Talk to me Liv," he urges once more and he isn't prepared for the pained look he sees in her eyes when she looks at him again. It worries him even more.

"I told you my mom was an alcoholic," she says, and her voice is flat.

Trevor nods, knowing not to interrupt her, and he takes a sip of his drink.

"Did you ever wonder what drove her to drink in the first place?"

He has, fleetingly, but since the woman is dead and Olivia clearly can take care of herself, he hasn't wanted to dwell on that question.

"Tell me," he says simply.

"She was raped."

There it is. The ugly truth.

Trevor's arm moves behind Olivia automatically and he rubs her back again.

"I'm so sorry Liv. It can't have been easy to see your own mother suffer like that."

Her career choice makes so much more sense to him now.

"It wasn't," she says, her voice barely more than a whisper. "Especially since I was a constant reminder of what had happened to her."

Trevor frowns and his brain is trying to process what Olivia has just told him. _She_ had been a constant reminder of her mother's rape? And then it dawns on him and his heart breaks for her.

Her mother had kept her rapist's baby. Olivia. Detective Olivia Benson, who has dedicated her life to putting away rapists, is the product of a rape herself. Trevor feels his blood run cold as the reality of it starts to sink in. It's a pure miracle to him that Olivia has turned out the way she has under those circumstances.

He stands up and Olivia looks up at him, a little surprised.

"What are you doing?" she asks, and her voice is a little shaky, as if she's afraid of what's next.

"Please. I just … I wanna hold you."

Olivia bites her lip but when he holds out his hand, she stands up as well.

"C'mere," he whispers, and she moves into his arms willingly without looking at him. She's trembling. Her arms are around his waist but she isn't really holding him. He knows it must have been very hard for her to tell him about how she was conceived, and he holds her a little tighter, rubbing her hair with his cheek. He feels that she is tense and he wants to see her eyes to see how she's dealing with telling him her secret.

"Liv, look at me," he whispers and she turns her head upwards hesitantly.

The look in her eyes is one of pure sadness.

"Your mother's rape was not your fault, Olivia. You know that, right?"

She nods and swallows hard.

"I know but … I never should have been born."

Her voice breaks and her words make his heart break a little more for her. Knowing what he knows now, his desire to make everything better for Olivia is growing even stronger. He chooses his next words carefully.

"Liv … I don't pretend to know much about cosmic truths, but if there is one thing I'm sure of, it's that the world wouldn't be complete if you had never been born."

She tears up and he lifts his hand to caress her cheek.

"How can you say that?" she asks with a trembling voice. "I'm the spawn of evil. I'm only here because a crime was committed."

"You know you're not evil, Liv. You fight evil with a passion every day."

"She hated me most days. She never should have kept me. She could have given me up for adoption and I would never have known."

A single tear runs down Olivia's cheek and Trevor feels like crying too. Not for himself but for the little girl Olivia was and the wounded soul she still is today. What can he say to make her see that she has every right to be here, just like everyone else? That she's worthy to live and worthy to be loved? He thinks about her last words and responds to those.

"If you had never known, you wouldn't have questioned your existence. So why would you do that now?"

Olivia shrugs but he can tell he's got her attention.

"You're here. That's enough. You have a right to be here simply because you _are_ here."

"Easy to say. Not so easy to really believe," she says honestly.

She's not looking away and keeps looking at his face, almost as if she's hoping to find the answers to her questions in his eyes. So he tells her the only thing he can think of that he hasn't told her yet.

"For what it's worth Liv, _I_ want you to be here. Regardless of the circumstances, I'm so grateful that you're here because … because _my_ world wouldn't be complete without you in it. Because ... I'm so very deeply in love with you."

…

Olivia swears her heart just stopped. She is staring up at the man who is holding her, one arm around her waist and one hand on her cheek, wiping away her tears as they suddenly spill over her lower lashes.

How can he say he's in love with her after she's told him she is a rapist's daughter? Does that really not matter to him at all?

"In love?" she stammers and Trevor forces a smile despite the heavy moment.

"Yeah baby," he says and she feels like crying again.

Trevor is just being too sweet. He doesn't know what he's getting himself into.

"I've got issues Trev," she says, feeling a need to convince him that she's really not worth the effort.

"So you've just told me," he says, and after wiping the tears off both her cheeks, he wraps his other arm around her waist again too.

"I will hurt you," Olivia tries again. "Not because I want to but …"

"Shhh," he shushes her and she can't understand why he is still holding her.

"Liv, your mother may have told you that somehow you shouldn't be here, but I disagree. And if it takes the rest of my life to convince you of that, I'm here for it."

Olivia shakes her head. He can't make a promise like that. He won't be able to keep it.

"Don't say that," she whispers. "I don't want you to get hurt because of the demons from my past."

Trevor leans his forehead on the top of her head and she closes her eyes. It feels good to be held by him. Right. But she really doesn't want to hurt him and she knows why. It's for the same reasons she's always kept to herself. She doesn't want to burden other people, no matter how much he seems to want to be burdened. She's the one who should be burdened, to prove that she does have a purpose in the world, despite how she came to be.

Trevor's low voice rumbles above her and Olivia wants to put her ear to his chest to feel it vibrate there, and to hear his heart beating. Only she has a hard time processing his words when he says,

"Olivia Benson, I love you. Tell me how to prove that to you, and I'll do it."

She starts shaking her head again automatically. Trevor's hands move up to her cheeks and he raises her head gently until she's looking at him again.

"Quit shaking your head. I _do_ love you. I thought I was making that obvious but Liv … whatever you need. We'll beat those demons. Together. Alright?"

She wants to believe him. Desperately so. He is so right for her but she's afraid to accept what he's offering.

"You''ll get hurt," she tries again.

"Love hurts. I'll live."

She can't believe how relaxed and confident Trevor is but no matter how hard she tries to resist it, it's starting to rub off on her. Hope bubbles up inside her and she _wants_ to believe it may be different this time. But she will need to trust Trevor. She will need to trust someone else, and accept that she can't do this alone. It's a challenge she's always run away from so far, but Trevor makes her want to believe it will be worth it this time.

She knows she has a lot of love to give but she's always been afraid of getting hurt herself. On top of that, unsuspecting men got hurt too, by her inability to commit to a relationship, to a future with them.

Trevor moves down to her level and it makes her smile. It must be awkward to stand like that, knees bent so his eyes will be level with hers.

"We'll live, Olivia. Don't give up without a fight. I can't do this alone. I can fight for you, but I can't fight _your_ fight."

She sees a hint of fear in his blue eyes and she realizes she's already hurting him by being so difficult.

"I'm sorry," she blurts out, and the instant she says it, she knows he is taking it the wrong way.

He thinks she's pulling away and her heart is screaming at her not to let him pull away from her now. And so her hands fly to his face and before he knows what's hitting him, she kisses him, hard.

Trevor stands up straight, pulling her up with him by wrapping his arms around her. He kisses her back passionately and she can't help wondering briefly if he thinks this is their last kiss. It won't be. She wants this. She wants him and she will need to start admitting to herself - and to him - that she's in love with him too.

His hands roam her back and he groans when she pushes her body against his, her arms wrapped around his neck. He turns them around so he can sit on the dinner table, and he pulls Olivia between his knees. She breaks off the kiss and looks into his eyes. She feels lightheaded and she knows her heart is beating way too fast but she won't let fear cripple her. Not this time. If he wants to fight for her, she will have to do her part.

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into," she whispers.

"Bring it on," Trevor whispers back, and she sees the hope is back in his eyes.

Being vulnerable doesn't come easily to her, but she finds herself wanting to lean on Trevor. She does so literally when she wraps her arms around his neck once more and kisses his neck softly before whispering in his ear,

"Please don't let me fall."

…

...

 ***blinks back a few tears***

 **Warning: the rating for this story may go up in the next chapter. Adjust your filters or follow this story so you won't miss any updates!**

 **Reviews are life.**


	23. Sure

**The rating is changing to M gradually. Read on at your own risk. Where were we?**

...

 **23\. Sure**

 _"You don't know what you're getting yourself into," she whispers._

 _"Bring it on," Trevor whispers back, and she sees the hope is back in his eyes._

 _Being vulnerable doesn't come easily to her, but she finds herself wanting to lean on Trevor. She does so literally when she wraps her arms around his neck once more and kisses his neck softly before whispering in his ear,_

 _"Please don't let me fall."_

...

His heart is thudding against his ribcage and he's certain she must be able to feel it.

"Never," he promises her and he means it.

He loves her. And he's told her that. He will do whatever it takes to prove to her that he's in all the way. Olivia has managed to capture his heart without even trying and he won't betray the trust she is putting in him. He has never seen her as open as she is right now and he is honored that she's allowing him to see her soul. He hates how wounded she is and he wants to protect her and cherish her. Help her heal and overcome her fear that happiness just isn't for her. He knows it's going to be a challenge but he has never shied away from a challenge before and he won't start now. Anything worth having, is worth fighting for.

She is leaning comfortably against him and he caresses her back gently with his hands, one on her shoulder blade and one on her lower back. He senses a change in her after a minute. She'd been seeking comfort and reassurance from him at first, but something is shifting. Her lips are on his neck again and she kisses him longingly now. He turns his head to look at her and then her lips are on his.

He moans. He can't stop himself, because as much as he wants to hold her and protect her from anything or anyone that might hurt her, he also wants her. He can't remember ever wanting anyone as badly as he wants Olivia. And from the way she is now pressing herself against him, he knows she wants him too. She deepens the kiss, taking charge for the moment and he lets her. He may feel like he needs to protect Olivia but that doesn't mean she's weak. In fact, he admires her strength even more now that he knows about her tainted origins.

He holds her tighter to him and Olivia moans into his mouth. She tastes like honey and he wishes he could taste more of her. Thoughts of her body flash through his minds, and the places where he'd like to put his mouth on her. There is no hiding his physical reaction to her and Olivia isn't stopping. It takes a lot of willpower for him to stand up until she has no choice but to break off the kiss, simply because she can't reach him anymore. He is still holding her tightly, and looks down at her while taking a deep breath.

"What is it?" Olivia asks him softly, and he can still the remnants of fear of rejection in her eyes.

He isn't going to reject her. The first time she came on to him like this, he stopped her because she was just looking for comfort. This time, he dares to believe it's different. He wants to be certain they're on the same page though, and asks her,

"Are you sure Liv?"

She smiles hesitantly.

"Are _you_ sure? Knowing what you know about me?" she asks in return.

He leans in immediately to kiss her softly on the lips. His answer comes easily to him because it's the truth.

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life."

…

Trevor's acceptance of her is almost too much; almost too good to be true. Olivia is used to people acknowledging her when she has her mask on, when she flashes her badge or pulls her gun, or when she gets a perp to confess. But Trevor knows more about her than most and he doesn't just acknowledge her, but he wants her to be a part of his life. He wants her, issues and all. And she wants him too. She wants what he's offering. And so she nods and smiles a nervous smile.

"I'm sure too."

She's trembling when Trevor takes her hand and she knows he is going to lead her to his bedroom. He smiles before tugging her along, and she follows him, holding on to his hand as he leads the way. She's never been as nervous about sex as she is right now and it's confronting. She knows why she's never been this nervous. It's because it's never meant as much as it does right now. She thought it was true love when she slept with her older boyfriend, the college student who asked her to marry him. But she'd never felt anything remotely like that again ever since. Until now. And this time, she knows it's real. It's not an infatuation or an escape from her mother's abuse. The man she is with knows what he wants and won't run like that boyfriend had done when her mother had interfered. This could actually be the real deal for her and it makes whatever they do next a big deal. It won't just be sex and she doesn't know how to handle that.

What is even more confronting is, that she trusts Trevor to catch her. She's never really trusted any man she's shared her bed with. They only ever got to scratch the surface. She never really let them in, even if she let them into her body. Trevor has already wormed his way into her thoughts and her heart, and she hasn't even given him her body yet. She feels like everything has been turned upside down and she holds on to Trevor, who is now her anchor while her world is tilting on its axis.

She barely registers his huge bedroom or the impressive canopy bed in the middle, that's made of dark oak and seems larger than a King size. She's solely focused on the tall man leading her to the bed and then reaching for the hem of her Woodhaven hoodie.

"Why don't we get this off you first," he mumbles.

Olivia stands still and simply raises her arms, so Trevor can pull the garment off of her body. Her own sweater rides up a bit and Olivia sees Trevor's eyes flick down. He licks his lips when he sees a sliver of bare skin just above her belt. This simple little distraction gives Olivia some much needed confidence and as Trevor tosses her hoodie on the floor, she mirrors his actions, reaching for the hem of his hoodie.

Trevor smiles and lifts his arms like she had done, but she can't reach that high and they both chuckle. Olivia feels herself relax a little and they pull the garment off his arms together.

Trevor places his hands on her hips and toys with the hem of her sweater.

"My turn again?" he says, and Olivia nods.

She raises her arms again and Trevor pulls the soft fabric up and over her head, leaving her in her purple bra and jeans. He groans softly when he wraps his hands around her waist and drops his lips to her bare shoulder. Olivia closes her eyes and leans into him, moving her hands underneath his t-shirt. His skin is warm and she wants to feel more of him. She wants to see him.

…

Trevor is trying to go slow but his desire is growing. He wants to rip Olivia's clothes of and toss her on his bed and make love to her for hours. Her skin is soft and her scent is intoxicating. And now her hands are on his back underneath his shirt. He releases her and quickly reaches behind his neck to pull the offensive piece of clothing off in one go. Olivia seems amused that he's rushing and he pulls her against his bare chest to kiss her hard. She responds with the same passion and her hands are all over him. Without breaking the kiss, Trevor moves Olivia backwards until her legs hit the bed, and he lays her down. Olivia pulls him along with her and pushes him onto his back. She hovers over him for a moment, just looking at him, while her right hand caresses his chest.

"Liv," Trevor whispers and she looks into his eyes.

"Yeah."

His eyes drop to her full breasts, still hidden from him by her purple bra.

"Take it off."

Olivia grins and before he realizes what's happening, she's straddled his waist and is looking down at him seductively. There's a whole new side of Olivia coming out and his jeans are getting way too tight. Olivia reaches behind her to unclasp her bra and he holds his breath. She lets the straps slide off her arms and he groans again when her perfect breasts come into view.

"Better?" she asks him, a slight tremor in her voice. She tosses the bra away.

"Better," he answers, his voice raspy and deep.

He moves his hands up from her thighs and Olivia closes her eyes as his hands travel up her body, her head lolling to one side and her hands splayed on his chest. She gasps when his hands close over her breasts and pushes herself into his abdomen.

He wants her lower.

"God, you're perfect," he whispers, and Olivia finally opens her eyes.

The feeling of her full breasts in his hands and the way their bodies are responding to each other is indescribable. They move as one when he flips them over and Olivia smiles up at him when she lands on her back. He is on her immediately, kissing her deeply before moving his hungry mouth to her chest. Olivia moans and arches her back. He's never seen something more beautiful than this woman and he devours her, kissing every inch of skin that is now exposed to him. Olivia grabs his head and pulls him back up to her breasts and he smiles against her skin before wrapping his lips around one of her hardened nipples.

Olivia sighs and his new life goal is now to pleasure her. Whatever she wants, he'll do it.

…

He is worshipping her body. She's never been treated like this before. Men have paid attention to her breasts before, but never like this. Never like this and she can't get enough. Another part of her body is begging loudly for attention as well but it's like she's in a trance. She needs his mouth on her, just like this.

When he moves up and kisses her lips again, she pulls him on top of her. His broad, muscular chest is hard against her sensitive nipples but she wants him there. He kisses her deeply and she groans when he only moves one of his legs between hers instead of both.

Trevor chuckles and breaks off the kiss to look at her.

"Getting a little impatient?" he asks her.

There are lights dancing in his eyes. He's being playful and it helps her relax some more.

It's not like she's new at this. She knows how to please a man and how to be pleased. She doesn't shy away from telling a man what she wants when it comes to sex. It's just the emotional part that is new, and it is distracting. But her body knows the way, and his body is just …

"Wow," she whispers, and when Trevor grins she realizes that isn't exactly an answer to his question.

"I love you," Trevor says and Olivia bites her lip.

He makes it sound so easy to say. He smiles again and kisses her softly. She knows he's saving her again. He must sense that those three words don't come easily to her. He focuses his attention on her body again and it's a relief. His hand moves to her jeans and he pops the buttons easily with one hand. _Good thing he isn't completely on top of me yet,_ she thinks. Otherwise, his hand wouldn't be slipping into her jeans right now. His fingers move down over her purple panties and she swallows hard. He's going to feel how wet she is. She looks at his face and sees him close his eyes when his fingers find her wetness. He is breathing quickly. He is as affected as she is. It helps her find her strength again and it's her turn to tell him,

"Take it off."

Trevor's eyes snap open and he looks at her.

"Mine or yours?" he asks.

Olivia grins and reaches up to caress his cheek with her hand.

"Both."

…

 **How's that for a cliffhanger? Hahaha! More soon, I promise.**

 **Reviews are life.**


	24. Love

**Like I promised, I'm updating this story as quickly as I can!  
I'm trying to keep this classy despite the rating change. Let me know if you think I succeeded or didn't succeed! And enjoy …**

…

 **24\. Love**

 _"Take it off."_

 _Trevor's eyes snap open and he looks at her._

 _"Mine or yours?" he asks._

 _Olivia grins and reaches up to caress his cheek with her hand._

 _"Both."_

...

She doesn't need to tell him twice. He is up in a flash and pulls Olivia's jeans and panties down her legs carefully, taking her socks along with them in one go. He doesn't look at her until she is completely naked. He is aware of how vulnerable she is right now, and looks at her face first. There is a little apprehension in her eyes but her eyes are roaming his body and desire overrides her nervousness. He makes quick work of his own jeans, boxer briefs and socks while Olivia scoots back to the middle of his oversized bed. When he is as naked as she is, he finally allows himself to look at her body.

"Perfect," he mouths to her and she smiled.

"Don't make me wait," she says huskily.

He grabs a condom from his nightstand drawer and crawls over to her. He wants to take her in his arms to kiss her, but Olivia has other plans. She turns them on their sides and starts kissing his neck, his chest and moves lower and lower.

"Liv," Trevor croaks but he can do very little to resist her.

He is so hard for her that he's afraid that he will finish prematurely if she touches him now. When she reaches his bobbing erection, she looks up at him and smiles. She sits up on her hands and knees, and hovers over his legs while placing a few small kisses on his lower abdomen. She then lowers herself so his erection is trapped between her breasts. Trevor groans and reaches for her shoulders.

"Careful," he warns her.

Olivia just smiles and slides her body over his, moving up slowly so he can feel her entire body move up his length. She settles on his chest, trapping him underneath her abdomen, and folds her arms underneath her chin to look at him. He is completely at her mercy.

"I saw you have protection?" she asks him softly and he tries to focus on what she's saying instead of the feeling of her naked body covering his.

"Yes. Yes. Of course," he stammers, still clutching the condom.

...

Olivia feels strangely comfortable, naked in Trevor's presence, but when she sits up again and straddles his thighs, her skin flushes under his gaze anyway. He looks at her as if he wants to eat her alive in the best possible way and she can hardly wait.  
Of course he has extra large condoms. Her eyes flick down to his impressive member. She isn't really surprised that his size matches the rest of his incredibly tall body, but she can't help wondering if he'll fit.

"Let me do it," Trevor says, and she hears apprehension in his voice.

She had wanted to put the condom on him but he tells her honestly that he doesn't know if he can keep it together if she does it.

Olivia sits back and watches him while he puts the condom on as quickly as he can. Once it's on securely, Trevor reaches for her.

"Can I kiss you?" he asks softly, and she moves forward again, laying down on his chest so he can kiss her deeply. No more distractions, he seems to be thinking and Olivia is glad. She needs to stop thinking and just let go. Trevor is caressing her back and ass while they kiss and she wants to explore his magnificent body as well.

They take their time finding each other's sweet spots and it moves her how loving Trevor is, without being submissive. His mouth finds the most sensitive places on her body and she squirms when he blows softly on her clit before putting his mouth over it. Olivia gasps and looks down at Trevor, who is now lying on his stomach between her legs in his unusually huge bed. He smiles at her and then licks her slowly. She gasps again and he grins.

"You like?" he asks her coyly.

"Mhm," she hums, nodding. "I just …"

"You just what?"

Olivia drops her head back on the pillow and looks up, only now registering the elegant cream-colored drapes hanging over and around the canopy bed. Her body is trembling with arousal and everywhere his hands and mouth touch her, her skin is on fire. She's always known the lawyer had a way with words but it's not the only talent he has using his mouth. She bucks up a few times while he works his magic on her and she thinks she could come just from the feeling of his mouth on her body. When the tingling in her lower half becomes too much, she grabs his head with both hands.

"Stop," she whispers, and he stops instantly.

"What's wrong Liv?" Trevor asks her softly, and he crawls over her to look into her eyes.

She can see concern in his eyes and she feels like crying a little. This man is truly too good to be true.

"Nothing," she says breathlessly. "It's just … if you don't stop that, I'm gonna …"

The look on his face changes into a triumphant grin instantly.

"That was the plan baby."

She shakes her head and she knows this is not normal for her. She has never turned down a mind-blowing orgasm before.

"No," she whispers nonetheless. "Not without you."

...

She swallows hard and Trevor registers the emotion in her features. She doesn't want to come without him and it's the closest she's come to a declaration of love so far. He leans in to kiss her and she moans into his mouth. She's incredibly sensitive to his touch and he knows he's already addicted to her. Her hands caress his pecs and shoulders and the need to be inside her is growing by the second. They change positions several times and when he senses that they are both ready, he flips them over once more so he is on his back and Olivia is on top. He wants her to feel in control.

Olivia moves her body over him and he bucks up involuntarily. He is more than ready to be inside her. She smiles and peppers his chest with little kisses while she moves into position.

"Take your time," he says softly.

He knows some women need some time to adjust to his size. For him it's not something to brag about because he knows full well he's had no say at all in how his manhood turned out. It's just something to take into account when he's with a woman for the first time.

Olivia just nods and he holds his breath when she takes him in her hand to guide him to her entrance.

She groans. She's had big men before but Trevor is something else. She's grateful that he is letting her set the pace because she needs some time to get used to this feeling. He's stretching her and she pauses after the first few inches. Trevor is caressing her thighs lovingly and she looks at his handsome face and his broad, muscular chest. She wants him and she knows it means more now than this act has ever meant to her before. She doesn't just want him now. She wants to keep him.

Olivia pulls back a little and then sinks down over him again, taking him in deeper than before. It feels better already and she does it again. Trevor moans and closes his eyes, frowning as if he needs to concentrate not to come too soon. She continues to move slowly until he's in all the way and then stills for a moment.

"You okay?" Trevor asks her softly and she nods.

It feels incredible to be filled up like this and she doesn't know how long she will last once they start moving again. She leans forward so she can place her hands next to Trevor's shoulders on the mattress and his hands move to her hips. He pulls her into him slowly and they both groan together. Trevor hisses and Olivia drops her head forward. The sensations coursing through her body are unreal and when Trevor starts thrusting up gently, she knows it won't take long.

She's hot and tight around him and he should have known she could take him. She's Detective Benson after all. But right now she isn't a Detective and he isn't a lawyer. They're Olivia and Trevor and he's finally making love to her. The soft sounds of excitement she is making only add to his arousal and he whispers her name a few times as they speed up gradually. Olivia is grinding into him and she is trembling and panting. There is a sheen of sweat covering her smooth skin and he would flip them over and take over for her, but he wants to make sure she knows she is in control the whole time so he doesn't. When Olivia sits up, arches her back and picks up the pace some more while grabbing her own breasts, he knows she isn't tired yet. He holds on to her hips and bucks up harder and she meets him thrust for thrust.

"Liv, I'm …" he warns her.

"Yes. Oh yes," she replies.

Her eyes are squeezed shut but when she drops forward again, she opens them wide and looks at him. There is fire and lust in her eyes and he knows instinctively that she's close.

"Go baby," he whispers and it's all she needs.

Olivia gasps and her body shakes when her orgasm washes over her. It's so overwhelming that she gasps for air. Trevor keeps going and it only enhances the fire inside her body. He fills her up so completely that she feels pleasure rippling through her body in places she's never felt pleasure before. And then he comes too and she can't breathe. He pulls her into him and pushes impossibly deep into her. She can feel him twitch inside her and she drops forward, collapsing on his chest for sheer lack of oxygen.

Trevor lets go, unable to hold back even if he had wanted to to make sure he wouldn't hurt Olivia. He comes hard and long. Olivia is moaning and still moving with him and he knows she's alright. He groans and pants until the last aftershocks of his orgasm finally subside, and then wraps his arms around Olivia's shoulders. She stills on top of him and he wants to stay like this forever, still buried inside the woman he loves. She's completely sated and her breathing is slowing down. They don't speak, neither of them wanting to break the spell they're under just yet.

Olivia listens to Trevor's strong heartbeat, that is gradually returning to normal. Trevor is caressing her hair and back and she thinks she can sleep now. She can't remember the last time she ever felt this safe. Maybe she has never felt this safe before.

After a few minutes, Trevor is the first one to speak.

"You're amazing," he tells her softly, lifting his head to kiss the top of her head.

Olivia lifts her head as well, so she can look at him.

"So are you."

"Did I hurt you?"

"No."

He lifts his head a little further in an attempt to kiss her, and she meets him halfway for a soft kiss.

"I love you so much," he tells her and she finally lets her heart speak up when she tells him,

"I love you too."

...

 **A/N: ...  
Reviews are life.**


	25. Ordinary people

**This chapter took me a while to write. You will soon understand why ...**

...

 **25\. Ordinary people**

They are on their sides, facing each other and just looking at each other. Trevor has pulled a sheet up over their bodies, that just reaches their hips. They're not cold.

Olivia can't believe she's told Trevor she loves him but for some odd reason, she can't stop smiling. Neither can he for that matter. The look in his eyes is one of pure happiness and it melts away her insecurities. How any man can think he's the luckiest man in the world to be with her is beyond her, but she'll take it. He is accepting her as she is, issues and all, and she's not going to say no to that. She does love him - the real Trevor that she's gotten to know recently. The Trevor that is kind and caring, funny and entertaining, who looks out for his family and who is great with kids. The Trevor who may have money to spend but doesn't really brag about it or flaunt it. Well, aside from this enormous apartment maybe, with a view to die for. And the bed they are currently in.

"Your bed is huge," she finally says and Trevor chuckles.

"That's the first thing you wanna tell me after … after?"

She bites her lip when he can't finish his sentence. She thinks it's the first time she's ever seen him lose his touch when it comes to words. He caresses her cheek with the backs of his fingers and then lets his hand drift down to her shoulder and arm before settling on her waist.

"I'm a very tall man, as you may have noticed," Trevor tells her and she grins again.

She's noticed.

"So I had this bed custom-made. It's as wide as a King but a foot longer than standard."

"It's awesome," she says. "I could live in this bed."

Trevor smiles and the look in his eyes is warm and loving when he moves in to kiss her softly on the lips.

"Then by all means, stay."

She hadn't planned on leaving any time soon and when Trevor takes her in his arms and she feels his warm skin on hers again, she really never wants to leave. It's more than sex with Trevor. Much more. And she is beginning to hope that maybe, just maybe, she has finally found what she's been looking for.

He kisses her and she stops thinking. She loves this man and for once, it doesn't scare her to admit it. She kisses him back and he moans, and she feels his body respond to hers again. She is doing that to him. She arouses him, and there is a lot of him to arouse.

…

He almost wants to pinch himself. She loves him too! He has managed to contain himself but he feels like jumping up and down on his bed like a kid. Maybe he will, soon. With Olivia. He can see it now but it will have to wait, because the way she's kissing him now makes him want to be buried inside her again. Her body is amazing and the way she responds to his touch is incredible to watch. He could look at her all night, taking her to new highs and watch her face while she soars and then comes back down from her high. He wants to make her come again.

Her hands caress his skin and he burns wherever she touches him. She moves down his body to kiss his chest and he shivers. Her hand drifts down to caress his growing manhood and he hisses when she wraps her hand around it.

She lifts her head to look at him and seems to be aware of the power she has over him. She is literally holding him in her hands and his body is jumping for joy at the notion. Olivia's smile widens when she feels how excited he is.

"My body loves you too," he manages to rasp and he groans when she squeezes a little harder and then starts pumping him slowly.

"That goes both ways," she whispers.

He moves his hand to one of her breasts and kneads it gently. Her eyes flutter closed but her hand stays locked around him, making him rock-hard for her again. He moves so he can kiss her again and she kisses him back longingly. It's like it's different now, after she's told him she loves him too. Maybe it was there before, but it's out in the open now. Her mouth is warm and inviting and she is letting him in. He never wants to hurt her or disappoint her and when she moans again, he stops thinking and just responds to her.

...

She feels different. More vulnerable but also more complete. It isn't just Trevor's body that completes her, now that he's inside her again. Olivia feels like he is starting to fill a void in her life that isn't physical. And she surrenders to it. She is on her back and Trevor on top of her and she's never felt this safe in this position before. His movements are passionate and deliberate but not threatening in any way. He doesn't crush her, keeping most of his weight on his arms while he moves deep inside her. Olivia's hands caress his chest, shoulders and arms, and when he hits a particularly sensitive spot, she squeezes his biceps while arching her back.

"Oh baby," Trevor sighs and she looks up at his handsome face.

He is looking at her body and it's as if she can feel his eyes on her breasts, caressing them with love and lust without even touching them.

He hits that spot again and she yelps. Trevor smiles, clearly proud of what he's doing to her and Olivia's hands move down to his waist and ass to spur him on.

"Keep going," she pants and Trevor is only too happy to oblige.

Olivia lifts her legs a little higher and Trevor groans, thrusting even faster and deeper.

"Oh yes," Olivia sighs.

She closes her eyes, ready to succumb to the waves of pleasure that are imminent.

Trevor gazes down at Olivia. He knows she's close and her flushed face reflects expectation as well as surrender. She is perfect and her body is gripping him like a vice. He couldn't stop now if he tried. She's his and he is hers. He drops down to his elbows and tilts his hips, working to give Olivia pleasure before himself. Her reaction is enough to send him over the edge with her. Her legs lock around his thighs and she cries out, her nails digging into his ass cheeks. Olivia lets out a string of high-pitched gasps as she comes, her body shaking and clenching around him, and Trevor releases himself deep inside her.

She feels him pulsating inside her and can't breathe.

"I love you," she gasps.

"Oh, oh, Liv," Trevor croaks in her ear, high on his orgasm, that is still making his body shake.

Olivia wraps her arms around his shoulders and holds him close until he finally comes down from his high. Trevor lifts his head and they smile at each other. Olivia kisses him softly and they kiss languidly, still intimately connected. Even now that his body is relaxing, he still feels big inside her and Olivia knows she's been ruined for other men after this night. She pushes her hips up and Trevor smiles against her lips.

"Still can't get enough?" he mumbles.

"Of you?" Olivia asks with a bright smile. "Never."

…

They spend the night and the next day together without ever leaving Trevor's apartment. Olivia is usually a light sleeper, always ready to head out to another crime scene, but she's slept like a baby in Trevor's arms. They have fun making breakfast together and have to take a shower together afterwards because too much food has ended up on their bodies. They lounge on Trevor's huge sofa and watch some TV, and Olivia thinks again that this is what ordinary people do on a lazy Sunday. It's this normal life she has seen but has never felt a part of.

"Do you ever go to church?" she asks him, realizing that that, too, is a part of the life of ordinary people on Sundays.

Trevor isn't even surprised at the question. They've already asked each other so many little things over the course of the day. He loves to get to know Olivia better and better.

"Grandma used to take us to church when we were kids and our parents let me and Linda go to Sunday school whenever we wanted to go."

Olivia is cuddled up with him on the sofa and he kisses her temple.

"You?"

She shrugs.

"Mom never took me, and it's not a habit you pick up without some encouragement, I guess."

"So why did you ask?"

She looks up at him and he wants to kiss her again. It's as if several layers have been peeled off her and there is hardly anything left of the haughty Detective he used to see at the 1-6. She isn't wearing any makeup and she is completely relaxed, wearing nothing but one of his button-up shirts and a pair of his socks. And she wants to know more about him.

"I was just thinking that this is as close to a normal life I've ever been. I guess I'm wondering about more stuff that people think is part of normal life."

His heart breaks a little for her again. He wants to give her that normal life, away from the blood, death and violation she sees every day, and the emotional abuse she's suffered as a result of that horror from the day she was born.

"We can go to a church next Sunday if you want?" he offers. "Grandma has told me a few times that there's a very nice Baptist church near here."

Olivia smiles.

"Is she still praying for your immortal soul?"

"I'm sure she is," Trevor says with conviction. "And I'm sure she started praying for you yesterday as well."

"That's so sweet," Olivia says quietly.

She can't imagine anyone taking the time to talk about her to God and it moves her. It makes her feel like she belongs. Like she belongs in this world and like she belongs with Trevor and his family. She rests her head on Trevor's shoulder and sighs contently.

"You wanna take a nap?" Trevor asks her softly and she smiles.

"You want to take me to bed _again_?" she asks without looking at him.

She feels Trevor's arm tighten a little around her.

"I meant actual sleep, but I wouldn't say no to some tlc while we're there," he admits, and they both chuckle.

…

It's almost 5 PM when they decide that maybe they should get up again to make some dinner. Olivia is nestled comfortably between Trevor's legs and is resting her chin on her arms on top of his chest.

"What would you like?" Trevor asks her, referring to dinner.

Olivia wiggles her eyebrows and he laughs out loud.

"If I had known you had such a dirty mind, Detective …" he says, still laughing.

"You would have gone after me a lot sooner, Counselor," Olivia tells him, and he knows she's right.

Making love to Olivia is like breathing to him now. He can't imagine being without her again. Just when they make another attempt at leaving his bed, his phone starts ringing. They both groan and Olivia lets her naked body slide off of his. He misses her warmth already and reaches for his phone that's on the floor next to the bed, somewhere between the heap of clothes there. He answers it just in time.

"Langan."

He exhales slowly when he hears why he is being called in on a Sunday afternoon. This won't go over well with Olivia. They should have talked about this. They covered so many topics today but they never once talked about their jobs and the cases. He can only hope that she will understand that not going to meet this client is not an option for him right now.

Olivia has seen Trevor stiffen and she wonders what the call is about.

"Alright, give me an hour," she hears him say and she feels disappointment that their time together is being interrupted.

When Trevor ends the call and turns back around to face her, there is a shadow over his face. Olivia frowns.

"What's wrong?" she asks him.

"I have to go."

"I gathered as much, Trevor. Big case?"

"You could say that."

Trevor gets out of bed and quickly picks up his boxer briefs from the floor and puts them on. Olivia watches him as he walks over to his huge closet to find a clean shirt. He has a magnificent body but she's completely focused on his demeanor right now. Something's off.

"Can't talk about it with me?" she inquires, trying to understand why he is suddenly so distant.

With their jobs, there's always that thin line of course, of what they can and can't discuss with each other.

Trevor pulls his pants up and buttons his white shirt, then turns around to face her.

"They think they caught last year's pattern 17 rapist at last."

A chill shoots up Olivia's spine and she unconsciously pulls the sheet up to cover herself. The pattern 17 rapist … one of last year's most horrific cases because of the age of the victims. Little preschoolers, snatched up from playgrounds around Manhattan and dumped at a different playground a day later after being abused, left barely alive. One of the little girls had died from her injuries and the others were traumatized for life. None of them had been able to provide a good description of their attacker. The DNA found on the victims didn't give them any leads and when the attacks stopped, the case had gone cold. Eight little victims and their families, still waiting for justice.

"Why did they call you?" Olivia asks, but she fears she already knows the answer.

Trevor swallows hard and her stomach drops.

"You can't defend him!" she exclaims, backing further away from him without realizing it.

Then her phone starts ringing and she knows who it is. She's being called in on the same case as Trevor, but for the other side. Elliot offers to pick her up and she has no choice but to tell him she isn't at her apartment. She tells her partner she'll be in shortly, and after ending the call quickly, she stares up at Trevor again. He is standing next to the bed, fully dressed, and she suddenly feels very naked underneath the sheet.

"I'm sorry, Olivia. I have to go and meet him. To see what the case is against him."

"Why?" Olivia asks, and the horror in her voice and her eyes hits him square in the chest. "Please don't go, Trevor. Don't do this."

She feels a surge of panic inside her. Everything was so perfect. She should have known it was all too good to be true. He won't give up a lucrative case for her. What was she thinking?

"Liv. Can we … can we talk about this later?" Trevor asks but he can already see the shutters closing in Olivia's eyes. He knows she won't be here when he gets back.

"If you leave now to defend that monster, there will be nothing to talk about," she says, and the small waver in her voice is the only thing betraying the emotion behind her words. Her face has turned into stone.

"Liv …"

"No."

Olivia turns away from him to get out of bed on the other side, still clutching the sheet. He watches her naked back, the back he had been caressing just minutes ago when everything had been right in the world. Now, she won't even look at him when she tells him,

"Just go."

...

 **A/N: Please don't hate me ...  
Reviews are life.**


	26. Fairy tale

**I'm just giving you Olivia's POV here first, for literary and dramatic reasons. Please bear with me. And her. And Trevor.**

...

 **26.** **Fairy tale**

Olivia feels like throwing up. She has dragged herself into the bathroom - why is everything so huge is this place? - and locks the door behind her before she finally drops the sheet.

He has left.

Trevor has left to represent one of the most reprehensible, vile beings in the entire city. A man who preys on 3-year-olds to rape and sodomize them and then throw them away like garbage after he's done with them. She doesn't know yet how they found him but if there is even a remote chance that he's guilty, why would a man like Trevor want to be found within ten feet of that monster? Trevor isn't the heartless lawyer they thought he was. He has a kind heart. He is loving and nurturing, not cold and calculating. He doesn't just work for his next paycheck.

And yet, he has left.

Olivia leans on one of the two sinks in the bathroom and looks at herself in the enormous mirror. She sees the tokens of their lovemaking on her body and shivers. She just can't reconcile the man she has fallen in love with, with the man who has just left her alone to go and defend a filthy animal. How did she even forget what he does for a living? Did she think he wouldn't touch these cases anymore because of her? That he'd actually give something up, for _her_?

Her mother's harsh words echo in her mind.

 _Nobody will love you. They'll just use you and then toss you away. You're the spawn of evil. You shouldn't even be here. You can't be loved._

She was right.

Olivia swallows hard. Her mind goes back to the past two days with Trevor and her chin begins to tremble. It had been so real. It _was_ real. He loves her. And for the life of her, she can't take it back; she loves him still. She turns on the tap and splashes some cold water in her face, but it's too late. She lets herself sink to the floor and sits on the crumpled sheet, naked and exposed, and it seems fitting. She feels exposed and she finally allows herself to cry. Can it be over already, when she thought her new life was only just beginning? She gives herself a few minutes to cry and then forces herself to get up and get ready for work. She can't keep them all waiting. These little girls and their families need her.

Olivia collects her clothes, finding them in different places in the apartment. When she's dressed in her own clothes again, she picks up the Woodhaven hoodie Trevor had given her. Or is it his? She presses the fabric against her face and inhales. It's his and tears well up in her eyes again when she smells him. But she can't stay. She hangs the hoodie on one of the dining room chairs and finds her own behind the sofa. She folds it neatly and puts it on the dinner table, where Trevor will be sure to find it. She can't keep it now. With a heavy heart she grabs her coat and turns to leave his apartment, not knowing if she'll ever be back here.

…

"Hey Liv, Much and Fin are already up there with a possible witness to see if he can identify him. Cap wants us to talk to Alysha and Jenny's parents."

Elliot is in full work mode, and Olivia forces herself to focus on the case.

"How did they even find this guy after all this time?" she asks her partner.

"Pure coincidence. They got a familial hit when they entered the DNA of a woman into the system who is suspected of money laundering for her boss. She only has one brother but the creep's lawyer is stalling. Won't allow them to take a DNA swab of the suspect because he won't acknowledge probable cause based on a familial match alone. They're still waiting for a warrant."

Olivia shakes her head and purses her lips. She can't believe it. Trevor doesn't even want them to make sure they have the right man? She tries to focus on the conversation they will soon have with the parents of two of the little girls, and she and Elliot go over the specifics of these two assaults while they drive to the first address. She is functioning on autopilot for the most part, until Alysha, now four years old, climbs in her lap. The girl is a little wary of Elliot but she remembers Olivia from before. Olivia reminds herself that this is why she became a cop in the first place. To help innocent people like Alysha. Physically, the girl has recovered fully from the assault, but the emotional scars run deep. She still shuns any man with a deep voice. She deserves justice, and no lawyer is going to get in their way.

Olivia cuddles and plays with Alysha for a while and they explain to Alysha's parents that they are hoping the man they have in custody in the Bronx will accept a plea deal once his DNA links him to the assaults. In that case, there won't be a trial. But they can't be sure, of course. They won't subject the little girls to a lineup unless it's absolutely necessary but they ask the parents to prepare their daughter anyway, just in case.

When they are back in the car and on their way to the next address, Elliot asks her carefully,

"Liv, are you doing alright?"

She sighs inaudibly. She thought she'd been completely professional but Elliot sees through her of course.

"Why do you ask?" she asks in return, but she knows she is just buying time. Elliot isn't going to let it go.

"You seem so distant. Sad, even. Is it the case or is it something else?"

"What else would there be?" she deflects once more but Elliot presses on.

"Come on Liv. No games, alright? I'm a little worried here. Problems with your new man?"

Tears well up in her eyes unexpectedly and when she glances at her partner, she can see his surprise. She knows this is new, for her as well as Elliot, but she's never put her heart on the line like this before and it hurts like hell.

"You need a break?" Elliot asks, but she shakes her head vigorously.

"No. Just … let's finish this."

Elliot doesn't ask her anything else for now but she knows this isn't the end of their conversation. The visit to Jenny's parents goes well considering. Jenny's father is still very angry and Elliot has to take him outside to calm him down, away from his children. Elliot is good at that kind of thing. He is a father himself after all, and can relate well to other parents.

They return to the station around 10 PM, hoping there will be news about the perp's DNA. Munch and Fin are there with some disappointing news instead. Their only witness couldn't make a definitive ID of the man he _thought_ he'd seen at a playground just before another little victim had been found. Good news comes when ADA Casey Novak strides in with a warrant for a DNA sample of their suspect. It's based on Melinda Warner's assurance that the woman's DNA shows with a 99.9% certainty that she and the man who assaulted the little girls are brother and sister. So unless her parents have another son the woman doesn't know about, it has to be this man.

After Casey leaves and Cragen orders Fin and Munch back to the Bronx, Olivia sits down at her desk with a sigh. They have their man and by now, Trevor must realize it too. She can't believe that the man she was making love to just a few hours earlier is now working against her. Against getting justice for seven little girls, and an eighth family devastated by the loss of their child after she went through hell. It makes her feel sick all over again and she covers her face with both hands, elbows resting on her desk. She knows Elliot is watching her. She can feel it, but she doesn't want to talk about it. Not with him or anybody else. She's too confused. It used to be so easy; so straightforward, black and white. But she finds herself missing Trevor. Maybe she misses the fairy tale world she has lived in for a few days, but it was too real for her to dismiss it as a fairy tale. She's never dwelled on relationships long after they ended, if you could even call them relationships. What was it that Cassidy told her a few years ago? As long as you have this job, any relationship will be an affair. Something along those lines. She knows she's guilty of treating her attempts at relationships as affairs, and never as something serious that might last. But this time … this time she had truly believed it would be different. And she finds herself still wanting to believe. She has put her heart on the line for the first time since she was sixteen, and she can't believe yet that this is how it's going to end. Again.

She hasn't heard Elliot stand up but suddenly senses his presence next to her.

"We're done for the day Liv. Fin will do the honors once the result of the DNA test is in. Need a lift home?"

Her partner's voice is gentle and she feels like crying. He knows something's up with her and he is offering her his ear, leaving it up to her if she wants to talk or not. They do that sometimes, just sit in the car silently. Sometimes it's enough. She doesn't know it if will be enough tonight.

"We could pick up some takeout on the way," Elliot continues and Olivia lifts her head to look up at him.

"A ride home would be great, thanks," she says quietly.

Elliot tilts his head and watches her, reading her. She'll accept the ride home but wants to be alone when she gets there. Elliot nods lightly.

"Okay. Let's go."

He pats her shoulder and walks off to get their coats. As they walk out of the squad room together, Olivia wonders how much she will be willing to share with Elliot.

...

"Wanna talk about it?" Elliot asks her when they are about halfway to her apartment.

It isn't a long drive so she guesses he doesn't want to miss his chance to find out what is bothering her. She knows it isn't curiosity, just concern, and she appreciates it. But how can she explain to him that she's fallen head over heels in love with a defense attorney? One that is currently representing the vilest being in the entire city no less?

She sighs again and licks her lips before telling her partner,

"Things were going really well and ... and then our jobs got in the way."

"Your _jobs_? What does he do?" Elliot asks and Olivia takes a deep breath.

"Well, to use your own words, his job kinda clashes with what we do."

She watches Elliot while he digests what she's just told him. She can see the exact moment it dawns on him.

"You're seeing a lawyer?"

"Yeah. Well ... I was."

"What happened?"

She still isn't sure how much she wants to tell Elliot. She knows he can't stand Trevor. Then again, he doesn't really know him. Not like she knows him. He doesn't know how funny he can be, and how attentive. He doesn't know how he seems like a proud father when he's cheering his nephew on during a soccer game, or how much he's done for his grandmother. He doesn't know that he was planning to take her to church next week and that he remembers every little detail she's told him about herself, even which tea she doesn't like. He doesn't know how at home she feels in his arms and how soothing the sound of his beating heart is in the middle of the night.

Olivia doesn't realize she has started crying silently until Elliot reaches out a hand and wipes away a tear gently. They are already at her building and he's parked the car. She hasn't even noticed they've stopped.

"You really like this guy, don't you?" Elliot asks her kindly.

Olivia nods, wiping her cheeks.

"I love him," she chokes out.

Elliot is genuinely surprised by her admission and she can't help smiling through her tears.

"It's a shocker, right? Someone finally got to me."

"It's new," Elliot admits. "But Liv, if you really love this guy, you can't give up too easily. What happened to make you think it won't work out?"

She closes her eyes at the memory of that moment when she felt like her heart shattered. When Trevor told her he had to go to the Bronx to meet his new client, the 2004 pattern 17 rapist. She shakes her head, trying to shake off the sense of loss she's had ever since.

"This case …" she sighs, making a helpless gesture with her hands. "I just … I just have to think …"

She doesn't finish her sentence. She honestly doesn't know what she wants right now and grabs the door handle to get out of the car.

"Liv!" she hears Elliot say urgently, but she exits the car anyway, needing some air.

Elliot jumps out of the car as well and rounds the car quickly before she can walk off. Olivia looks up at him with wide eyes. She feels so lost and she just can't shut off the confusion. It used to be so simple. The old Olivia wouldn't have had any trouble kicking a man to the curb. But she's changed. She has lost her heart and no matter how hard she tries to reason with it, Trevor still has her heart.

"Oh Liv," Elliot sighs, and when he reaches for her, she walks into his comforting embrace.

Elliot is her life line right now, keeping her afloat in a sea of emotions but her heart won't stop beating for Trevor. She sobs once and Elliot rubs her back, rocking her gently.

"If he means this much to you, you can't give up without a fight, Liv," he whispers and she nods against his shoulder.

"I know but … he defends scum, El. How can I live with that?"

Elliot rubs his cheek against the top of her head.

"Talk to him. Just be honest."

"I'm scared, El."

Elliot moves her away from him just enough so he can look into her eyes.

"Detective Benson? Scared? Not the Detective Benson I know!"

Olivia laughs despite herself but then buries her face against Elliot's shoulder again.

"It's true though. I don't think I've ever felt like this before."

"That should tell you something Liv," Elliot muses.

She knows he's right.

"I should go and talk to him," she concludes.

Just then, they are both startled when they hear the sound of screeching tires and a car speeding off down the street. Olivia gasps when she sees the car and covers her mouth with her hand.

It's Trevor's car …

…

 **Dun dun!**


	27. Apart

**I know I'm keeping you all in the dark about Trevor's day a little longer, but I have to. All will become clear soon, I promise.**

 **Also, this is a short chapter to satisfy a few impatient readers (you know who you are - lol!). More soon.**

...

 **27\. Apart**

"Liv."

Elliot stands next to her, looking at the tail lights of the car just like she is.

"Trevor," Olivia whispers.

She can't even begin to imagine what he must have thought when he saw her in Elliot's arms.

"Trevor?" she hears Elliot ask incredulously. "As in Langan?"

She bites her lower lip and just nods. She doesn't expect Elliot to understand. She hears her partner take a breath and blow it out slowly and to his credit, he doesn't tell her she's better off without the attorney, or that he doesn't like the man very much. She doesn't want to hear his opinion right now, and Elliot knows that. She's just heartbroken because of what Trevor must be going through after seeing her with Elliot, and forgets her own concerns for the moment.

"I have to tell him it's not what he thinks," she says, her voice shaky, and she feels Elliot's arm wrap around her waist once more.

"This is the real deal, isn't it?" she hears her partner ask her quietly, and she looks up at him, tears blurring her vision for a moment.

She sees genuine concern in Elliot's eyes and she shrugs helplessly, pursing her lips.

"Where do you think he's going?" Elliot asks, and his practical question forces her out of her daze and the pain she's feeling for Trevor.

"Home I guess," she says, meanwhile wondering where else he'd go.

"Come on, I'll drive."

Olivia blinks a few times and frowns, not really comprehending what Elliot means.

"Liv … I won't pretend to understand, but it's pretty clear that you care about this guy. You can't leave things as they are between you. So get back in the car and tell me where to go."

…

He can't believe it.

He just can't believe what he's just seen, but he can't unsee it either. He's always known they were close but he had believed Olivia when she'd told him there was nothing going on between her and her partner. That they were just good friends. Trevor hits the steering wheel of his car with a fist and shakes his head, blinking a few times to get those annoying tears out of his eyes. He knows he's speeding, but he doesn't feel like being a good and responsible citizen at the moment. He's furious and deep down he knows it isn't just anger making him boil. He's angry but he's also jealous and hurting.

"Dammit Olivia," he yells and it's all he can do to stop himself from crying.

Has it all been for nothing? Has he just spent hours in meetings only to end up alone at the end of the day?

It had killed him to leave the way he had that afternoon, but even before he'd spoken with the suspect, he had made up his mind. He's a practical man. He'd made a list of options and he's acted on them. He'd been waiting for her to get home. He was so anxious to see her, to look into her big brown eyes and tell her that he can't live without her. That he'll do anything for her, like he promised. And then she gets out of the car and her partner follows her. They hug and it looks so natural, as if they've done it hundreds of times before. They talk and smile and hug each other and Stabler is holding the woman of his dreams in his arms. He can't believe that she lied to him. He can't believe it.

…

"Why are you doing this for me?" Olivia asks Elliot while he drives her to Trevor's building. "You hate the guy."

Elliot purses his lips and glances at her before looking at the road ahead again.

"You love him, right?"

She swallows hard and feels like crying. Her chin trembles when she whispers,

"I do."

Elliot shrugs.

"So that's why."

Olivia blinks a few times, and two tears make their way down her cheeks. She reaches for Elliot's arm and squeezes it.

"Thanks El. You're a real friend."

"I could tell someone was making you happy, Liv. I've never seen you like that before and you can't just give that up. But you know you're still gonna have to talk to him about your jobs," Elliot reminds her.

Olivia clasps her hands together in her lap. She hasn't forgotten and she's surprised herself tonight. She hadn't expected to feel this way, but she wants to see Trevor desperately to explain to him that Elliot was just comforting her. She still doesn't want him to think badly of her or her partner, and she doesn't want him to be in pain. Is that what love does to a person? Does it make them able to overlook certain things, so imperfect people can still be together? If what she's feeling right now is any indication, she'd say that love really does change a person. The old Olivia would have run the other way fast at the first sign of trouble, but she is now running _after_ Trevor instead of away from him, and that's a miracle in itself. The rejection she'd felt that afternoon when he left to defend that bastard had been real and familiar and yet … her heart refuses to let go, however disgusted she still is with that part of Trevor's life. Elliot can see that change in her as clearly as she can see it herself. Maybe even more clearly, because instead of wanting to protect her from pain, he's actually driving her to Trevor's place and telling her not to give up too easily. He _knows_ this is the real deal for her, and she knows it herself. She can only hope Trevor will be willing to listen to her.

…

After getting home, Trevor tosses his jacket over a chair, loosens his tie and walks straight to the kitchen to grab a drink. He feels sick but he needs something strong. He'll probably need more than one drink, even if that means he'll be even sicker in the morning. He pours himself a glass of scotch. He shakes his head and walks over to the window. He takes a long draw of his drink and winces when he swallows it. He gazes out over the city. It looks exactly like it did before, and yet it looks completely different. He's alone. He is usually alone up here but this time it's different. He feels empty. He had driven to Olivia's place with apprehension but with hope, too. Hope that things would work out for them in the end. Now, that hope has been taken away. Olivia has found solace in the arms of her partner. The man she's always been close to and who is now separated from his wife.

Trevor glances at the clock on his wall. Almost midnight. Maybe she took him up to her apartment with him. Trevor closes his eyes and tries to will that thought away. He doesn't want another man to touch her glorious body ever again. The memories of how they had made love in his bed, on his sofa and even in the shower flood his brain and he has to sit down. She was never supposed to be a one weekend affair. She should be here, with him. He wants to plan their next outing together and plan a vacation in the sun with her. Talk about the future and go to church with her like they had discussed. He shakes his head sadly. He doesn't even know if she saw him in her street. For all she knows, he's defending some bastard preying on little children, and has simply chosen a case over her.

He jumps up again. What if she really thinks that? He can't blame her for being upset about it. What if she hates him now? He can't leave things like this between them. He looks at his glass, which is almost empty. He thinks he could still drive after just one glass. Maybe he should call her first.

Before he can decide what to do, there is a soft knock on his door. He frowns and walks over to the door to check who it is. Who could it be at this hour of the night? And why hasn't security called him to let him know a visitor was coming up? He checks the peephole and his stomach drops when he sees who it is.

"Olivia."

...


	28. A Knight for a Queen

**I'm back! Happy new year everyone. Now let's see how this goes … anyone want to know yet what Trevor has been up to?**

...

 **28\. A Knight for a Queen**

Olivia doesn't know where to begin. All she knows is, she has to talk to Trevor. To see him and see for herself that he's alright.

She didn't do anything wrong and Elliot was just consoling her, and yet she doesn't want Trevor to have any doubts at all.

"You sure messed with my head," she mutters while she takes the elevator up to Trevor's floor. She's asked the security guard not to tell him she's coming up, saying it's a surprise. The man had just grinned knowingly at her and had tapped his temple as if saluting her.

She shakes her head. It isn't her head Trevor has messed with. It's her heart. She still blames him for leaving to defend that scumbag but she doesn't want him to be upset either. It's confusing, this love thing. How can she despise what he does and love him all the same?

She takes a deep breath before knocking on his door softly. She startles when the door swings open and her eyes focus on his blue eyes automatically.

"Liv," he says, and he seems shocked to see her.

"Trevor, what you saw earlier …" she blurts out, without knowing what she's going to say next.

His bright eyes darken instantly.

"You told me there was nothing going on between you and him."

His voice sounds hurt as well as accusing, but he's hurt her too.

"You told me you'd do anything for me to prove that you love me. 'Tell me what to do and I'll do it.' Remember? So why didn't you just refuse to take that case like I asked you to?"

She's raised her voice a bit and Trevor grabs her arm to pull her into his apartment so he can close the door. Olivia yanks her arm out of his grasp. It's a reflex.

Trevor takes the gesture as rejection.

"So that's all it takes for you to run into your partner's arms?" he fires back.

"That's not what happened!"

She's all fired up and Trevor's stomach clenches. How can he still be so in love with her?

"So what was _that_?" Trevor asks, pointing at his door as if pointing at the place where she'd broken his heart when she walked into Stabler's arms so eagerly.

"He was comforting me Trev! Because you hurt me! That's what real friends do, you know. They stand by each other."

Her eyes are burning. This is not going the way she thought it would go. They're hurling accusations at each other now, talking past each other. And Trevor has just taken her bait.

"You knew who I am and what I do going into this, Olivia. Why didn't you just stay with your _friend_ if this is how you really feel about me!"

He turns away from her abruptly to hide the tears that have welled up in his eyes. He knows his words are hurting her even more but he feels like there is nothing left to lose. He's already lost her because of their jobs, and he hasn't even been able to tell her what he's been up to this evening.

"I wasn't aware that I would have to choose between you and Elliot," Olivia bites back at him.

And it's the truth. Her friendship with her partner has nothing to do with her feelings for Trevor or what she had hoped to find in him. When Trevor turns around to face her, the pain in his eyes reflects her own. But she's not the one to blame here, she tells herself. He's the one accusing her without so much as an attempt to understand what she's been going through today.

"And I wasn't aware that I would have to choose between you and my job," Trevor replies.

He can see the instant the words leave his mouth, that they put a severe blow in her defenses. But had that been his goal? Is that what he is trying to accomplish with this chess move? To make the queen fall? He sees one tear escape her eye and find its path down her cheek and his hand itches to reach out and catch it. To caress her cheek and tell her everything is going to be alright. Only he isn't so sure now if it is going to be alright.

"So what did your words mean, Trevor?"

Her voice is soft and wavers a bit and his heart aches for her.

"You'll do anything for me but don't touch the job?"

Seeing her pain, he suddenly realizes how betrayed she must have felt when he left that afternoon, without another word. Sure, he'd told her they would talk about it later but she had said right away that there would be nothing to talk about if he left. She's heartbroken. She isn't pining for her partner at all. She came here, to _his_ place in the middle of her own pain to … to do what exactly?

"Did you come after me to tell me that Stabler holding you wasn't what it looked like?" he asks her suddenly.

Olivia blinks a few times and stares up at him, steeling herself.

"Yes."

He takes a step closer to her and Olivia takes a step back, making him realize that she hasn't picked up on the change in his emotions yet.

"Liv," he says gently, holding his hands in front of him the way someone would try to calm down a frightened child or a pet. "Liv baby, please."

Her eyes find his again and he can see the confusion in them.

"I'm so sorry for leaving the way I did earlier," he tells her.

"I told you Trev …" Olivia sighs, but the emotion takes the sound of her voice before she can tell him how hurt she's been.

"I know baby, I know," Trevor continues, and Olivia is surprised that his tone is so different now.

He is approaching her again and she doesn't step back this time.

"Just let me tell you about my day, and you can judge me afterwards, alright?" Trevor suggests, and something in his voice tells her it's important to hear him out.

And so she listens while he tells her what he's been up to since leaving her at his apartment.

…

" _Just go."_

 _He can't shake off the disappointment dripping from her words, spoken with her back turned to him. He knows she has always hated it that he's on the opposite side of these cases but it's become far more personal now. It's Sunday, his partner is held up with another client and the other people working in their law firm don't work on Sundays. So he has to go, he tells himself while driving up to the Bronx._

 _It's not like he's looking forward to defending or even talking to a child molester. Surely Olivia knows that? If he thinks it's fair to assume the man is guilty, he'll act on that, just like always. He'll suggest a plea deal. He wants those families to have closure just as much as she does. Well, that's not entirely true. He's certain she wants it more. She is passionate about her job and about getting justice for these innocent victims and their families. It's not just a job for her. It's her life._

 _Something clicks with him when that thought hits him. It's her life. And if he wants to be any part of her life at all, something will need to give. Olivia can't change who she is and he wouldn't want her to. Life has shaped her in the most wonderful way to be a force of good in the same world that has given her such a rough start. He wouldn't want to hinder her in her mission. If anything, he'd want to support her so she'll be even better. He'd want to give her a safe place to come home to and love her like she deserves to be loved. Something will need to give. A Knight for a Queen. She will be worth it in the end._

 _..._

 _Trevor talks to the man. There is no way around that first interview. The man is cold and detached, even chuckling a little when faced with the charges they plan to bring against him. The familial match with his sister is convincing but he still denies everything. He's never seen or heard of these girls. He was never around those playgrounds. He has no trouble getting laid so why would he bother with little girls? Trevor's gut tells him the man is guilty and he knows he can't defend him in court. But since he's still denying everything, he can't very well start talking about a plea deal now. So he decides to buy some time by refusing the DNA sample until they've secured a warrant._

" _Nobody talks to my client while I'm out," he stresses before leaving the 52nd, telling them he is needed elsewhere but will be back soon._

 _He hurries outside and gets into his car to make a phone call to his partner._

" _Trevor, I'm in a meeting with a client. Is this urgent?"_

" _It is. I need to talk to you asap. Where are you now?"_

 _Henshall gives him the address of the company he is representing in a fraud case and Trevor meets up with him there during a half hour dinner break. Henshall takes his plate of food, arranged by his client, and moves into a private room with his partner._

" _So, what's the emergency? Did you meet with that pattern 17 guy?" Henshall asks him while he eats his food._

" _I did but I can't represent him," Trevor blurts out right away._

" _Why not?"_

" _I've been seeing someone."_

" _I know Trevor. You told me. What does this have to do with your client?"_

" _This woman … Olivia. She's a detective at the Special Victims Unit in Manhattan."_

 _Henshall raises an eyebrow and then tilts his head._

" _So?"_

 _Trevor takes a deep breath. He knows he will have to play it smart. He and Henshall are equal partners on paper but he considers the older man his senior in more ways than one._

" _It's going to be a conflict of interest. I can't defend suspects that she or her team have arrested. Clients are going to pick up on that."_

" _I can't call someone else at this hour Trevor, and you know it," Henshall responds, all business as usual._

" _I know we don't expect our people to come in to work at all hours, but in this case, I don't think we have a choice. I can't defend this man. I won't do it."_

 _Henshall puts his fork down and folds his arms in front of him on the table._

" _If you want to remain partner in this firm, you have to be available. If I call in Stokes now, what's to stop me from making him partner instead of you?"_

 _The man plays hardball. It's what has made him such a successful attorney in the corporate world. But Trevor doesn't scare away easily either._

" _If you think that's what's best for the firm, by all means, Byron. Stokes is a good lawyer."_

 _Henshall smiles then. Trevor knows he won't try to get rid of him as partner. His results are too good and this is the first time in almost eight years that Trevor wants out of a case. The two partners stare at each other for a few seconds before Henshall asks him,_

" _So why would any client even know about your so-called conflict of interest? It's not like we do a lot of those cases anyway."_

" _I don't want to do any of them anymore, Byron. How could I possibly be a trustworthy representative of these suspects when an SVU detective is my wife?"_

…

 **Dun dun …  
How will Olivia respond to that?!**


	29. Forever

**Friendly note to guest reviewers: While I appreciate you all (truly), how am I supposed to answer your questions if you don't make an account here? Just sign up and review, and/or send me a PM! You can even ask me on Twitter, see my bio. Just letting you know, I'm not going to answer everyone here in the story notes, unless many people have the same question(s).**

 **Having said that, on with the story! We're nearing the grand finale ...**

...

 **29\. Forever**

 _The two partners stare at each other for a few seconds before Henshall asks him,_

" _So why would any client even know about your so-called conflict of interest? It's not like we do a lot of those cases anyway."_

" _I don't want to do any of them anymore, Byron. How could I possibly be a trustworthy representative of these suspects when an SVU detective is my wife?"_

…

"Wh … What?"

Olivia stares up at Trevor, who had gradually stepped closer to her while he was talking. She can't believe what she's hearing and her head is spinning. He didn't take the case after all. He won't take any of these cases again. He even risked his position as partner for it. For _her_. Did he lose his position? And did he really just say …

"Yeah."

Trevor smiles, suddenly seeming a little shy, and shrugs.

"That's what I told him."

"Wife?"

Her voice sounds so tiny that it's pathetic and she wants to kick herself in the ass, but she can't get herself to move. It isn't until Trevor slowly reaches for her shoulders that she comes out of her frozen state and blinks. Trevor tells her,

"I … didn't mean to spring that on you like this but … yeah, I've been thinking about it. About us. Together. Permanently."

He almost chokes on each word and there isn't much left of the well-spoken attorney at the moment but he doesn't care. Alle he cares about is the look in Olivia's wide eyes, that gradually changes from pure shock and disbelief into something resembling hope. But he can tell that her mind is still going a mile a minute.

"I know it's probably too soon," he babbles on, "but it did shut Henshall up at last."

"You didn't take the case," Olivia whispers, still staring up at him in amazement.

"I didn't take the case."

"So did you lose your position as partner?"

Trevor shakes his head lightly.

"No. But I've committed to training Stokes to become a junior partner."

"Why?"

Trevor steps even closer to her and tentatively wraps one arm around Olivia's waist, and she moves her hands to his hips equally tentatively.

"Because I know this won't work if we stay on opposite sides of the cases. This job of yours … it's your _life_ , Liv. I don't want to work against you. I want to support you. Like I told you; whatever you need. Because I love you."

Olivia finally allows herself to sink into his embrace and lets out a shaky sigh. She nestles her cheek against his broad chest and closes her eyes when Trevor wraps his other arm around her shoulders.

"But what about your job?" she mumbles against the cotton of his shirt.

"I would have given up my position for you baby. And I won't miss those cases one bit. The only thing I ever liked about them was, that I got to see you."

Olivia chuckles but she feels a huge lump forming in her throat. No one has ever made such a sacrifice for her and she feels hot and cold simultaneously. And she suddenly understands why Trevor had overreacted when he'd seen her with Elliot. He had just spent hours making sure his job wouldn't get in their way again and when he goes over to her place to tell her, he finds her in the arms of another man …

Olivia untangles herself a bit from Trevor so she can look up and into his eyes.

"What is it?" he asks her softly and the sound of his gentle voice wraps around her like a warm blanket.

"You do know that there's nothing between El and me, right? You believe me?"

Trevor looks into her eyes as if he's trying to find the truth there, and she just stares back at him. She knows she has nothing to hide.

"I can't say I trust him one hundred percent, but I trust you, Olivia Benson."

He sees a twinkle appear in her eyes and smiles at her.

"You can trust him too, Trev," Olivia assures him.

"I'm not going to trust any living male within a hundred feet radius of you, Liv. Ever."

She smiles but then her face turns serious again.

"I can't believe you did all that for me," she says, shaking her head a little.

"You're worth it Liv. I know I won't regret it. I met with Stokes after parting with Henshall and briefed him on the case. I made it very clear that he needs to go for plea deals in obvious cases like this, and not work to get scum back on the streets on technicalities. I think he got the message. Last I heard, they were negotiating with Novak."

Olivia sucks her lower lip between her teeth and Trevor's eyes drop down to her mouth. She's still in shock but when he lowers his head to kiss her, she responds instinctively. Her arms move up and around his neck and she stands on her toes as their lips meet. Trevor's arms wrap firmly around her and despite how overwhelmed she is by the various turns of events of the day, she relaxes into the kiss, deepening it and moaning contently when she realizes she is back where she belongs.

Trevor moves his arms lower and lifts her up from the ground, so utterly relieved to be holding her again. When Olivia breaks off the kiss after a minute and he sets her down, they are both a little out of breath. Trevor is taken aback when Olivia suddenly mumbles,

"I should call Elliot."

"What? Why?" he asks, and his voice is sharper than he had intended.

Olivia gives him a small peck on the lips before reaching for her phone in her back pocket.

"Because he insisted on waiting downstairs until he was certain I wouldn't need a lift back."

When she turns around without moving even an inch away from him, Trevor wraps his arms around her from behind and peeks over her shoulder at her phone.

"You mean to say he drove you here?" he asks, unable to hide his surprise.

"Yes. In fact, he's the one who insisted I talk you to right away."

"Seriously? Stabler? I thought he hated my guts."

Olivia reaches up to caress Trevor's cheek.

"I don't think he hates you personally Trev."

Trevor is very surprised by Elliot's move, but also moved by his genuine concern for his partner's well-being. Why else would he drive her to her boyfriend's place to clear up a misunderstanding? He nuzzles his nose in Olivia's hair while she makes the call, putting her phone on speaker, and he tries not to be jealous when he sees her hit #1 on speed dial. It makes sense, he tells himself. They work together.

"Hey," Elliot says, picking up after just half a ring.

"Hi El, thanks for waiting."

"No problem Liv. Everything alright up there?"

Olivia smiles and looks at Trevor, who kisses her cheek softly.

"Yeah," she says almost inaudibly.

She clears her throat quickly and tries again.

"Yeah. Everything's good."

They hear Elliot chuckle.

"Sounds to me like things are more than good," he remarks.

Olivia bites her lip. Her partner knows her too well.

"You're on speaker El," she informs him and Elliot uses the opportunity to say something to Trevor.

"Alright. Langan, you there?"

"I am. Thanks for driving Liv here, Stabler," Trevor replies, and he really means it.

"You know I did it for her, not for you, right?" Elliot responds, but they can hear the smile in his voice. "I want my partner to be happy and surprisingly, she's been happier than I've ever seen her these past couple of weeks."

Trevor kisses her neck and Olivia giggles softly.

"That's what I mean," Elliot continues. "She never giggles like that for me, Langan. I didn't know it was you and I don't know how you're doing it, but you must be doing something right."

"Oh, several things," Olivia quips, and she covers her mouth with her hand instantly.

She feels bubbly and happy, now that the two men in her life are talking, but maybe she shouldn't blurt things out like that ...

"Too much information, Liv!" Elliot admonishes her sternly, but then all three of them laugh out loud.

"Anyway, I'm glad you two talked," he continues. "I guess we'll be seeing more of you around the 1-6 now, Counselor."

"You will, but I'll only be there for Olivia," Trevor tells him.

"That's right," Olivia interjects happily. "Trevor isn't taking any more of our cases, El. He's on our side now."

She hasn't really processed everything herself yet, but she's so proud of Trevor and wants Elliot to know he doesn't have to hate him anymore for representing scum. Trevor's arms lock around her a little tighter and suddenly she wants the call to be over so she can devote all of her attention to Trevor.

"Well, whaddaya know," Elliot muses. "You'll have to explain that to me tomorrow Liv. For now, I'll be moseying on home. I'm sure you kids have other things to do in the middle of the night than talk to me."

Olivia looks up at Trevor again and he wiggles his eyebrows.

"I can think of a few things," he mumbles, and his bedroom voice sends chills down her entire body.

"I'm hanging up now," Elliot announces.

"El. Thank you," Olivia says.

"Anytime Liv. See you at the house tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

Olivia tosses her phone on the sofa and turns around in Trevor's arms once more.

"I hope that convinced you that we're just good friends," she tells him, and Trevor smiles down at her.

"It did. He's a good friend."

"The best."

"The best?"

"Absolutely."

"So what am I?"

Olivia stands on her toes to kiss the tip of Trevor's nose.

"You? You are turning out to be the love of my life."

With all the barriers that had threatened to come between them out of the way, Trevor crashes his lips over Olivia's. He wants to be gentle but Olivia's eager response fires him up even more. They get more passionate when it becomes clear neither one of them has any intention of stopping, and they start tugging on each others' clothes.

"Bedroom?" Trevor mumbles against her soft lips.

"No," she mumbles back, kissing him deeply again. "Right here. Now."

She's managed to get his shirt out of his pants and he quickly gets rid of his tie so she can tug the shirt up and over his head. Her blouse and bra follow and when they tumble on the sofa together, they are separated only by their trousers and underwear anymore. When Trevor feels Olivia's niplles scrape his bare chest, he makes his way down to her soft mounds to pepper them with kisses. Olivia moans when he sucks one of her nipples between his lips and she hisses when he bites down lightly. He moves down further to tug her pants down, that have somehow been unzipped already. He slides the black slacks down her legs, taking her black panties off in one go and then stands up quickly to get rid of his own pants and boxer briefs.

"Come here," Olivia whispers from the sofa, staring up at his amazing body while tossing her phone on the floor.

"I should get a …" Trevor starts but Olivia interrupts him quickly.

"Forget that. I want to feel you. All of you."

He swears his heart just tried to leap out of his chest and he is on her in a split second, his naked body covering hers on the huge sofa.

"Oh baby, are you sure?" he asks her one time, but Olivia silences him with a scorching kiss while her hand finds his already rock-hard erection blindly.

She moves her hips so she can trap him between her legs and guides him to her heat, her actions speaking loud and clear. She's sure.

They don't need much foreplay this time. All the tensions of the day are translating into pure passion, combined with the immense relief that the dream hasn't ended. When their bodies become one once more, Olivia wants to cry. She can feel every glorious inch of him and urges him to go deeper still. She loves him so much for trying to control himself but she's ready for him. Her body is moulding itself to accommodate him and she never wants another man like this again.

Trevor supports his upper body with his arms and he looks down at Olivia while they make love right there on the sofa in the middle of his living room. The curtains are still wide open but they couldn't care less. Tonight they celebrate their love for each other and soon, everyone will know about it. Olivia's hands roam his chest and he watches her full breasts move each time he thrusts forward, burying himself to the hilt inside her. They pant, moan and groan together and whisper declarations of love while they head for their climax together.

"Forever baby," Trevor pants, sweat beads glistening on his forehead.

"I love you," Olivia croaks out, digging her fingernails into Trevor's hips.

"I'm yours Liv."

"Gah … yes! Oh yes! Just like that!"

"You're mine."

Olivia feels herself going over the edge and manages to say two more words, echoing Trevor's words from before, and then she cries out in pleasure.

"Forever baby. Oooh!"

Trevor feels himself falling, not just over the edge into a glorious orgasm, but very deeply into the miracle that is Olivia. He is honored that she is letting him in, so completely now, and he spills his seed deep inside her while her body convulses and contracts around him.

Olivia feels warmth spread throughout her lower half, and it's a new sensation. It's love and lust and trust all rolled into one and she holds on to Trevor for dear life, riding the waves of ecstasy with him until they are both completely spent. Trevor collapses on top of her and she clings to him, wanting his weight on top of her like a living security blanket.

When Trevor has caught his breath and lifts himself up to look at her, Olivia reaches up to caress his face with both hands, a sheen of tears in her eyes. She's at a loss for words but he can see the love and trust in her eyes. He smiles at her and leans in to kiss the corners of her eyes, where her tears have gathered, kissing the moist away, and repeats again what she's just told him in a sigh,

"Forever baby."

...

 **A/N: We're almost at the end of this story, my very first Langson romance. I don't think it will be my last though … stay tuned. And as you know, reviews are life.**


	30. Best friends

**30\. Best friends**

There's been a bounce in Olivia's step all week and rumors are flying. Fin has his own theory why she's smiling so much but it's obvious that he's just trying to get something out of Elliot. As her partner, he should know what's going on with Olivia.

"I haven't breathed a word about it to anyone," Elliot assures her after relaying Fin's latest interrogation tactics to her on their way to an interview.

"Trevor wants to pick me up Friday after work. He's made some kind of reservations," Olivia says softly as if someone might overhear them, although it's just the two of them in the car.

"Sounds like fun. You're not embarrassed to be seen with him, are you?" Elliot asks.

"No," Olivia says, fidgeting with her scarf. "It's just … the guys are gonna comment."

Elliot chuckles.

"Olivia Benson's afraid of a few comments from her friends? Not the Olivia Benson I know!"

Olivia smiles and glances at him sideways.

"I guess I'm still getting used to the new and improved attorney myself."

"Yeah. It's great that he's made some changes. Not that I will ever understand what you saw in him before," Elliot adds playfully and Olivia punches his upper arm.

"Knock it off. I just agreed to have dinner with him to find out what makes him tick and … well … he turned out to be much nicer than I had expected. Fun to talk to, interested in all kinds of things, great sense of humor, attentive and respectful. And he's a family man."

Elliot grins and she wonders if she's been singing Trevor's praises a bit too much.

"You found all of that out over one dinner?" he asks.

Olivia thinks back and has to admit that she did find most of that out during that first dinner.

"I think so," she muses. "We talked about so much that night. And then he took me to an art exhibit."

They chat some more and Olivia wonders why Elliot isn't his usual overprotective self this time. He's never liked it when she dates anyone.

"So El," she asks on their way back from the interview. "How come you're not trying to chase Trevor away like my other dates?"

Elliot grins and tells her,

"I only chased away the guys that were no good for you."

"How could you possibly know that? You didn't even know most of them!" Olivia huffed.

Elliot shrugs.

"Male intuition?"

"It was completely up to me who I wanted to see El. Besides, it looked more like jealousy to me."

It's the first time she's putting into words what others have been saying and thinking about them and Elliot takes a deep breath before replying.

"I have no right to be jealous of any guy hitting on you, Liv. I … I admit I don't like to see guys hanging around you and I get protective but … I could tell that this was different. Granted, I had no idea you were seeing _Langan_."

Olivia rolls her eyes when Elliot makes a face at the mention of Trevor's name.

"But I know you, Liv," her partner continues. "I could tell you were falling in love. And when I saw you struggling when things got a little rough, I guess I knew this had to be the real deal for you. You didn't want to call it quits at all like you usually do."

She knows Elliot is right. She hadn't wanted to run this time. She'd been devastated and all she had wanted was to have that dream back of a normal, happy life that she had imagined with Trevor. She hadn't wanted it to end and instead of steeling herself and pulling up all her defensive walls, she had allowed her heart to break. She couldn't simply turn her back on him, and Elliot had seen it for what it was.

"You're the best friend I've ever had El," Olivia says and she blinks a few times to keep a few unexpected tears at bay.

"And you're my best friend, Liv. I just want you to be happy."

Olivia bites her lip, suddenly realizing things are looking very differently for her partner.

"What about you El?" she asks him quietly. "Are you going to be happy again?"

Elliot glances at her and then steers their car into the police parking lot.

"I have hope," he tells her once the car is parked. "I have the kids over, but I visit them at home from time to time as well, and Kathy and me are talking."

"That's great El," Olivia says, and she means it.

Her best friend deserves to be happy too.

…

He isn't nervous, Trevor tells himself. He's told himself a few times actually. Still, his stomach is fluttering a little. Today will be the first time he and Olivia will out themselves as a couple at the 1-6. He's looking forward to it but he can't help feeling a little jumpy as well. Those cops have never been happy to see him come in, and today won't be any different. His brief phone conversation with Elliot has told him that the man will be the least of his problems and Olivia has assured him that Elliot is being very supportive. He honestly hadn't expected that but when it comes down to it, both men want Olivia to be happy and that's enough for them to call a truce.

When he arrives at the precinct and steps out of the elevator on Olivia's floor, he takes a deep breath before walking briskly towards the room he's been to so many times before. He remembers coming in and spotting her, and seeing her eyes dim just a little. He's been the enemy for so long, that he needs some time to adjust to this new reality himself.

Henshall hasn't given the whole matter any more attention and he thinks he probably won't bring it up again until he introduces Olivia to him. He has left it up to Trevor to train Stokes and has accepted his refusal to handle any more cases involving special victims by simply not mentioning it again.

Stokes is more interested and he's shown the young man a few pictures of him and Olivia that he's snapped over the past week. She made him swear not to show anyone the picture of her in bed without any makeup on and her hair all messy, but he's kept it on his phone anyway. It's his favorite picture of her and he steals a glance at her wide, happy smile from time to time. She's just perfect when she's so pure and natural. He is relieved that she has managed to relax into their relationship and he has no intention of letting her go again. As far as he's concerned, there is only one chess move left to make to conquer the queen, and he's ready to make it.

When he enters the SVU squad room, he doesn't see Olivia and he feels instantly disappointed. He had hoped to see her eyes light up this time upon his arrival. There will be plenty of time for that, he mentally scolds himself. Don't act like a schoolboy, Langan.

"Didn't know we had any rich kids locked up at the moment," he hears Detective Tutuola pipe up, and the heads of the other people present, including Captain Cragen who is standing next to Elliot's desk, all turn to him.

"Counselor," Cragen says, ignoring his Detective's comment. "What brings you here so late on a Friday afternoon?"

"Actually, I'm here to see Detective Benson," he tells the older man as he walks up to him.

Elliot stands up behind his Captain and the men exchange a look of understanding.

"She just went up to change, Counselor," Fin tells him, walking up to them. " Gettin' ready for a date, actually. I doubt she's gonna make time for you now."

Just then, Olivia comes walking back into the squad room and she takes his breath away. She's dressed in a purple dress that seems taylor-made for her, fitting her like a glove. The neckline is high and classy, the short sleeves leave her arms bare and the skirt ends at the kees. Her high heels match the color of the dress and make her legs look even longer. She's done something to her hair that makes it wavy and shiny and has put a subtle touch of makeup on, and he forgets to breathe when he sees the light in her eyes.

"Actually," she says in a low, sexy voice, "I'm going to make all the time in the world for him."

She walks up to him and slips her left hand in his right hand. Her hand is a little clammy and it's the only sign indicating that she's actually nervous too.

"Say what?" Fin responds, a shocked look on his face.

"Well well well," his partner Munch mumbles, finally standing up too, to join the little group near Elliot's desk. "Did you know about this, Elliot?"

Everyone turns to Elliot as if he should have an opinion about things somehow, and he just shrugs, giving Olivia a wink.

"My partner doesn't keep secrets from me, guys. That's the difference between you and me."

"Very funny Stabler. So Liv. You sleepin' with the enemy now?" Fin asks her bluntly and Olivia rolls her eyes.

"Trevor's not the enemy," she says, looking up at him and Trevor smiles at her.

"Are you sure we're not looking at a conflict of interest here, Olivia?" Captain Cragen asks her.

"Not anymore, sir," Trevor tells the older man. "I'm not going to be defending any of your suspects anymore."

Cragen's eyebrows shoot up and his gaze shifts to Olivia, who is still clutching Trevor's hand.

"I knew you were a miracle worker Benson, but you've actually converted a lawyer?" he asks her, but Trevor can see the humor in the man's eyes.

"It didn't take much Captain," Olivia says proudly, squeezing his hand. "He's always hated these cases anyway."

"If I ever show up here for a case again, it will be to defend a victim against false allegations," Trevor adds.

Olivia releases his hand and wraps her arm around his waist instead. Trevor wraps his arm around her shoulders and looks at her adoringly.

"I'm shocked, I tell ya," Fin says, putting a hand over his heart. "And not a peep from Stabler. Must be witchcraft."

"Actually," Munch pipes up, and the others can't suppress a soft groan when the older Detective launches into a lengthy monologue about witchcraft and how many people are still being influenced by witches without realizing it.

Cragen suddenly remembers he has something to tie up in his office and Elliot grabs his coat. Fin shakes his head, knowing he will have to listen to the whole thing, Munch being his partner.

"That went better than I thought," Olivia mumbles softly as the small group disperses.

Trevor leans in and gives her a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks to you, my beautiful."

Elliot returns with his coat and Trevor takes the opportunity to extend his hand towards Olivia's partner. Elliot takes it, looking up at him with a question in his eyes.

"I just want to thank you," Trevor explains. "For always looking out for Olivia and for supporting her - us - the way you are."

Elliot shakes his hand firmly but looks at him very seriously then.

"You're welcome. Just one thing, Counselor."

"Yes?"

"If you break her heart, I'm breaking your legs."

"Right."

"I'm serious."

"I know."

"Alright."

Elliot lets go of his hand then and winks at Olivia, who gives him a playful push. Trevor knows he will have to get used to their banter because this man is her best friend. Most women have a woman for a best friend, but then again, Olivia isn't most women. Not by a long shot. She's unique and special and she's his now. She works with Elliot but she's leaving with him.

"Ready to go?" Olivia asks him and he nods.

"I am now."

"So where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"She doesn't like surprises very much," Elliot says as he walks off, waving at both of them.

Trevor looks at his girlfriend and she smiles reassuringly at him.

"I'm sure I'll like your surprises, Trevor. Because I trust you."

It's the highest praise he can get from her and he knows it. And he's going to make damned sure he will never lose her trust again.

…

 **This was just a little filler chapter. More soon. What could that final chess move be?**


	31. Checkmate

**I know some of my readers will be sorry to hear that this is the final chapter of this story. However … before you start crying or yelling at me: there will be more. I need some time to finish other stories to clear my head, but I am fully intending to write a sequel to this story! Just no promises on when, okay? I do have a home, a family and a day job so bear with me.**

 **I have marked this story as completed now, but I will leave a note here (chapter 32) once I start publishing the sequel. So anyone following this story will be notified, as will anyone following me.**

 **It's been a huge pleasure writing this story and very satisfying to learn that I actually have diehard EO shippers rooting for Langan now. Mission Accomplished! :)**

 **Anyway, enjoy this final chapter of Chess Moves - A Knight for a Queen!**

...

 **31\. Checkmate**

Having lived in New York city all her life, Olivia has never, ever considered going on a dinner cruise in her own city. But it's been amazing, with live music playing on the cruise ship and of course, perfect company. After a romantic evening with exquisite food, wine and dancing, Olivia and Trevor go back to Olivia's apartment for a nightcap.

"Did you enjoy the sightseeing?" Trevor asks during the cab ride home.

"You know, I didn't think I would but I really don't know everything about the city at all," Olivia admits, snuggling close to him in the backseat.

"I'm glad you liked it."

"By the way, you're a great dancer," Olivia tells him.

"Dancing is the perfect excuse to hold you close," Trevor replies and she turns her head to kiss his cheek, telling him,

"You can hold me close anytime."

When they arrive at her building, Trevor quickly pays the driver and they go up together.

"It's not as huge as your place, but I call it home," Olivia says, gesturing around her after Trevor has closed the door behind them.

He has only been inside her apartment once before, but that was before she knew how _he_ lived. She's spent most of her spare time at his place this past week, and she sees the contrast now. Trevor comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist. He leans in to kiss her neck and tells her softly,

"I'd live in a cardboard box if that's what it takes to be with you."

Olivia laughs out loud and turns around in his arms.

"I'm sure you can afford something bigger."

They kiss each other sweetly and after a few spontaneous dance steps, Trevor leads her to the couch.

"Speaking of living arrangements ..." he says, tugging at her hand while he sits down.

"Yes?" she asks, her heartbeat quickening slightly.

What is he getting at now?

She sits down beside him and she can tell that he is thinking, trying to choose his words carefully.

"I've been thinking," he starts. "What if … you and me started looking for a place where we could live together?"

Her eyes widen a bit. Whatever she had expected, it's not this.

"Live together? As in … officially?"

Trevor nods, pursing his lips. Olivia can tell by the look on his face that there is more.

"Yeah. I was thinking that maybe, instead of moving into one of our current places, you'd prefer to find something that's fresh and new for both of us. Sort of a clean slate."

"Trevor," Olivia sighs. "That's a big step. And would you … would you really give up that amazing apartment of yours for me?"

"For us," Trevor corrects her. "In a heartbeat Liv. And if you would want me to come and live here, no problem."

Olivia is touched by Trevor's genuine excitement about moving in together. She's trying to let it sink in a little more each day that this is really happening. That she's really found this incredible man to love, who wants nothing more than to share his life with her. It will take some time for her to relax into the new life he's opened up for her, but they're not kids anymore and they know what they want. Maybe moving in together would be a logical next step.

"Would you really move here? Leave all that luxury behind that you're used to?" she asks him.

She doesn't know yet what she would want, but she can hardly believe he'd move into her tiny one bedroom apartment just to be with her.

"I would," Trevor confirms. "Baby, I haven't always lived like that. My parents had to work hard to help me get through college and law school, and I had a job myself. I'm not some spoiled brat who doesn't know anything else. Deep down, I'm just an ordinary guy and all I want is for us to be together. Everything else is expendable."

Olivia blows out a breath and leans back against the backrest of the couch.

"And Liv," Trevor continues, and Olivia turns her head without lifting it to look at him. "I have one more question to ask you."

He fumbles a bit while he tries to get something out of his jacket pocket, and Olivia sits up straight, watching him. She feels herself getting nervous as if her subconscious already knows what's coming.

…

Trevor has been looking forward to this moment all night. He's watched his beautiful girlfriend and he loves how she laughs so freely these days, like when they were dancing on the cruise ship and he whispered naughty things in her ear. He knows they haven't been dating for very long yet but he knows what he wants. It's her. Olivia is the woman he's been waiting for all his life. _She_ is that one woman who is worth all the outrageousness in the world, as he put it during their very first dinner together. He loves her more than he can express in words and he wants to do everything in his power to help her deal with the aftermath of her traumatic childhood. He wants to see her pregnant with his children and he wants to admire her when she proves to the world, and herself, what a wonderful mother she will turn out to be. He wants it all with her and so he stands up, moves in front of Olivia, who looks up at him with a confused look on her face, and drops to one knee.

"Olivia Benson, I don't just want to live with you. I want everything with you. Basically, I want _you_ \- to have and to hold. So I want to ask you …"

He takes a shaky breath and he can see the realisation dawning on Olivia's face. He's thought about doing this during dinner but he knows she doesn't like to be the center of attention. This moment, in the safety of her own apartment, is the perfect moment to ask her,

"My darling Olivia, will you marry me?"

He holds his breath and Olivia stops breathing for a moment too. She's staring at him and he can't really read her right now. He sees a sheen of tears fill her eyes and she blinks a few times.

"Breathe Liv," he says softly and she gives him a weak smile then.

"Marry you?" she says, her voice barely more than a whisper. "You really want to marry me?"

"Yes. I really want to marry you," Trevor says as firmly as he can. "What did you think I wanted when I went after you? Not an affair Liv. I want something real and lasting this time. With you. I've only ever wanted that with you."

He opens the box he's been clutching in his hand and holds it out to her, showing her the ring he's bought. It's not too big, not too flashy. He knows she wouldn't want that. He can afford a big rock but he's chosen a delicate ring instead, with one sparkling diamond set in a smooth band of white gold. It's a ring that matches the real Olivia that he has the privilege of getting to know a little more every day.

"It's … it's beautiful," Olivia stammers.

"Will you wear it Liv?" he asks once more and he almost tumbles backwards from relief when she finally starts nodding.

"I … yes. Yes, I will wear it."

She reaches for him and he moves into her arms quickly, staying on his knees in front of her, and holds her as she wraps her arms tightly around his neck.

"Trevor," she sighs in his neck.

"I love you," he whispers back. "Please marry me."

He feels her nod again and he holds her even tighter when she whispers softly,

"Yes."

…

 **Five months later**

"So?" Olivia asks her partner. "Is she coming?" **  
**

Elliot grins widely at her.

"She is."

"That's great El."

Olivia gives him a spontaneous hug.

"You're too late now, Stabler. She's taken," Fin remarks dryly when he sees them hugging.

Elliot rolls his eyes and pats Olivia on the back before letting go of her.

"She's going to be a beautiful bride."

"I can't believe it's only a few more days," Olivia sighs.

She sits down at her desk and looks at the framed photo that now graces her desk. She had been a little reluctant at first but Trevor had convinced her that it was a Langan family tradition to have an official engagement portrait made. She's happy with the photo now and smiles at her handsome fiancé on the photo from time to time.

They haven't started apartment hunting yet. Olivia will move in with Trevor after the wedding and they'll take it from there after their honeymoon.

"Paris huh?" Munch says, walking up to her and perching himself on the side of her desk. "They say it's beautiful this time of year."

"Paris is beautiful all year around," Olivia says. "I still can't believe I'm finally going to see it."

"Are you sure you're not marrying for money, Ms. Benson?" Munch jokes, and Olivia laughs out loud.

"I love that sound," they hear their Captain say as he comes walking out of his office. "But why are you still here, Benson? I thought you'd be busy planning your wedding."

"Trevor's got us a wedding planner," Olivia says, her voice betraying some disapproval.

"Well, that's a good thing, ain't it?" Fin asks.

"I guess," Olivia sighs. "It's just so … I don't know. To hire someone, I mean actually pay them? That's for rich people."

Casey Novak enters the squad room and catches the tail of Olivia's remarks.

"You _are_ rich people now, Liv. Get used to it," she says loudly. "Now just tell me that he has a brother who is still single and point me in his direction on the big day."

They all laugh and Casey makes a pouty face when Olivia assures her Trevor only has a sister.

"But he may have cousins. I don't know the entire family yet," she tells the ADA, who cheers up immediately.

"If you can get me a man like yours, I will forgive you for holding out on me," Casey declares solemnly, and the others chuckle at her remark.

Everyone is happy for Olivia and while she is marrying into the Langan family, Olivia knows that these people will always be her family too. And they're all going to be there on her big day.

…

 **(A/N: I recommend playing the song mentioned while you read the very last part. It's "Grow Old with Me", the cover by Mary Chapin Carpenter. And maybe take another look at Peter and Mariska's wedding pictures!)**

It's a perfect day. The best day of his life by far. Olivia is a stunning bride and they both can't stop grinning from the moment they see each other. Olivia had chosen to walk down the aisle alone and he couldn't be more proud of his fierce, strong and beautiful bride. Linda, Peter and Elliot had all been part of the ceremony and when Elliot and Olivia had exchanged a look of understanding, Olivia had squeezed Trevor's hand.

He doesn't need her reassurance anymore. He can see now that, while Elliot is very important to Olivia, he has a different role in her life. Elliot is her partner and her friend. _He_ is now her husband. Trevor looks around as all their guests file into the room for the party, and sees Kathy Stabler congratulating Olivia. Olivia has told him that the estranged spouses are on speaking terms again, and want to try and work things out once and for all. It was a wonderful surprise when she agreed to accompany Elliot to their wedding as his date and when he sees Elliot look at Kathy, he sees hope in the man's eyes. And he hopes for them both that they will make it work again.

When Trevor set out on this journey, this game of chess, he thought the goal was to conquer the Queen. But when he looks at her now, his heart skips a beat and he realizes that he hasn't conquered the Queen at all. No, he's down on the floor and at her mercy. She has defeated _him_. In the end, she has conquered his King. It's checkmate for her and it always will be. He has never been happier to surrender the game; his heart; his life.

When the host announces the first dance, Trevor walks over to his wife, and takes her hand. She turns to him and then it's as if there is nobody else in the room but the two of them.

"Mrs. Langan," Trevor whispers, and Olivia answers him with a wide smile.

They have agreed that she will remain Detective Benson on the job, but off the clock, she will proudly be Mrs. Trevor Langan from now on. He holds her close and kisses her forehead when they start to dance, oblivious to the people watching them and blinking away happy tears for the radiant couple.

The band is playing the song they have chosen, the song that will always be their song after today, and Olivia lets the words sink in deeply. She knows her heart has found a home at last and they stare into each other's eyes, their foreheads glued together, and tell each other wordlessly that they want to live by the words of the song forever.

 _Grow old along with me  
_ _The best is yet to be  
_ _When our time has come  
_ _We will be as one  
_ _God bless our love  
_ _God bless our love_

 _Grow old along with me  
_ _Two branches of one tree  
_ _Face the setting sun  
_ _When the day is done  
_ _God bless our love  
_ _God bless our love_

 _Spending our lives together  
_ _Man and wife together  
_ _World without end  
_ _World without end_

 _Grow old along with me  
_ _Whatever fate decrees  
_ _We will see it through  
_ _For our love is true  
_ _God bless our love  
_ _God bless our love_

...

 **THE END**

(for now)

...

 **Thank you for reading! Reviews are life.**

 **Until next time, Anne.**


End file.
